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    Performance Review A new, unique game world idea which has only one goal - to ensure that no player can live on hype alone. The Core: As seen in Reality Check and in Financial Fair Play, there will be specific rules but here comes the twist. Instead of each club having specific rules, there will be specific rules for players. Each player will have some expectations to fulfill to remain at his club. E.G Cristian Tello is an outstanding youth player with great potential. He must play at least 8 league games this season Or: Lionel Messi is renowned as the best player in the world. He must live upto this honour. He must score at least 20 goals this season else he cannot play for the first 5 matches of next season. Each player will not have specific rules but only key players. The rest will be categorized. E.G All youth players rated 80 and below must play at least 1 league match. Another new and revolutionary feature which plays a key part is: Custom Concerns Each manager has the near impossible task of managing high-fly ego's and sky-high expectations. If they do not fulfill each player's wishes, he will get increasingly concerned and seek a move away from the club. This feature adds an extra dimension to SM's much critisized Player Concerns system with realistic expectations. E.G Matija Nastasic realizes that he is not contending for a starting spot in his team. However, as a promising youth player for the future, he feels he should be allowed to feature for at least 3 league games. Each manager is expected to fulfill these wishes else face the player's desire to leave the club. Standard Features Three Divisions with 10 teams in each Division. Starting Budget : 70 Million Team Selection: Live Draw SMFA Monitoring Transfers: OFF Player Concerns: OFF - This unique concept sees the introduction of Custom Concerns which I hope will perfect the SM's player concern system. Transfer Rules: No Transfer Rules Economy Level: Normal Managers Must Login: Every 14 Days [up for discussion] Part Exchange: Allowed Transfer Windows: None Setup Survival This game world is one which I'm sure will never die down and last for a long time as managers are constantly facef with the task of managing their players wishes, desires, concerns etc. and most importantly, puts them in the shoes of managers in real life of real clubs which is the most important thing in a game world as that's the entire point of creating game worlds, that and having fun and fun is guaranteed . With these features present, I have no doubt that this will last for a long time. Extra Additions Any extra suggestions/additions provided by interested forumers will be stated here. If anybody has any doubts regarding any of the rules, please state your doubt and I'll do my best to answer them. Thank You Starting Line Up - Top 30 .JGF - Bayern Munich Ox in the Box - Tottenham Hotspur Scrooll - Zenit The Mechanic - Juventus Brunopinto90 - SS Lazio BroodRoosterNL - Barcelona RieceM96 - Arsenal Preppens - Dortmund Jkerrs - Chelsea Dean - Shakhtar Donetsk Gozzy - AS Roma RickJames - Atletico Madrid Ben C - Manchester United Josh Hammond - AC Milan Like_A_Boas - Paris Saint Germain Drseanfitz - SSC Napoli Ashtini - Schalke Froz3n - Real Madrid kdBz - Malaga Venkrontrueblue11 - SL Benfica Mario Balotelli - Internazionale Slbquista - Athletic Club iAwesome - CSKA Moskva Itirising - Valencia Garryc300 - Manchester City Vendetta - Liverpool Kevin Junior - Newcastle United Jozua - Leverkusen Indgy - FC Porto Ghora - Lille OSC Shortlisted Managers [Those I don't know] 123_ABC Rawket AbhDhabi Maxcher Rooney_Persie_RIP Hdixit Beist Evoked87 Gusma Vesivian Teams Barcelona - BroodRoosterNL Real Madrid - Froz3n Arsenal - RieceM96 Chelsea - Jkerrs Manchester City - Garryc300 Manchester United - Ben C Bayern Munich - .JGF Borussia Dortmund - Preppens AC Milan - Josh Hammond Tottenham Hotspur - Ox in the Box Liverpool - Vendetta Internazionale - Mario Balotelli Shakthar Donetsk - Dean Paris St. Germain - Like_A_Boas Schalke - Ashtini Zenit - Scrooll Atletico Madrid - RickJames Juventus - The Mechanic Valencia - Itirising Newcastle United - Kevin Junior SL Benfica - Venkrontrueblue11 FC Porto - Indgy SSC Napoli - Drseanfitz SS Lazio - Brunopinto90 CSKA Mosva - iAwesome Lille OSC - Ghora Leverkusen - Jozua Athletic Club - Slbquista AS Roma - Gozzy Malaga - kdBz Rules Division 1 Barcelona 1. Lionel Messi is acknowledged around the world as the best player in the world and the best player to grace football in a long time. The Board is delighted to have a player of this ability but they feel he must perform like the world's best to live upto this accolade. He must score at least 14 goals whilst also maintaining an average performance of 8. 2. Andres Iniesta recently won the UEFA Player of the Year award, bringing great glory to this club and instilling personal pride in The Board. He must now do his best to retain this award. We expect him to provide at least 8 assists and get 2 Man of the Match awards in this campaign. 3. Xavi and Puyol are both nearing the ends of their careers and are getting increasingly tired after matches. The Board does not want to see you over-working them in their final years. They cannot start more than 2 matches in a row. 4. Hugo Lloris was recently brought in from Tottenham Hotspur to the club. Lloris is one of the best keepers around and The Board wants to see him performing consistently in goal. He must keep at least 5 clean sheets. 5. Some of the very good players in your squad who have proven themselves in the past, are unhappy with the fact that they are not getting the chance to prove themselves again despite their previous accolades and their undeniable ability. The Board feels that this cannot continue. All players rated 90 and above must start at least 5 matches regardless of competition. 6. Barcelona have an illustrious youth system which is, without competition the best in the world - La Masia. More and more outstanding prospects are graduating from the La Masia and The Board wants to see these starlets get their oppurtunity to shine. All youth players rated 80 and above must start 2 league matches and 1 cup match or 5 more league matches. 7. Wayne Rooney was recently brought in from Manchester United in a straight swap for Cesc Fabregas. The Board are delighted to get one of the world's best players in Rooney at their club. They however, expect him to perform. He must score at least 10 goals in all competitions. The Board also feel that Rooney is best when dropping back into an attacking midfield role and expect him to play at least 5 matches as an attacking midfielder. 8. The signing of Franc Ribery was massive for the club and it was a great addition to add a player of Ribery's calibre to the club. The Board expect Ribery to have a large part in the team. He must play a part in at least 15 goals, be it scoring for himself, or providing the assist. Real Madrid 1. The midfield duo of Xabi Alonso and Sami Khedira were pivotal in Real Madrid's title win last season. Although Luka Modric was brought in for a princely sum of 33 Million Pounds, The Board is keen to see more of the Alonso-Khedira Midfield Partnership. Modric cannot replace either of them from the Starting XI unless one of them gets a rating below 7. 2. Cristiano Ronaldo is in sublime form and is world-renowned as a goal scoring machine. However, he has been criticized for his selfish nature. He wants to show the world that he is not just a goal scorer, but a team player as well. He must score at least 10 goals season and he must also provide at least 5 assists to prove his naysayers wrong. 3. Kaka is very unhappy that he is playing very little matches despite playing well in the matches he does play. He feels that unless given the oppurtunity to play, he will not stay at the club. He must play at least 8 league matches else he will request a transfer. 4. You recently brought in one of the best talents on the planet in Mario Gotze to the club. Gotze, at the tender age of 20, has already shown great maturity and ability. The Board believes he is mature enough to play at the biggest stage and want to do anything possibly to keep on improving his game. He must start 12 league matches. 5. Sergio Ramos and Pepe both have an infamous history of being reckless. This cannot continue. They cannot pick up more than 5 yellow cards and 1 red card each. 6. Raphael Varane and realizes that he is an outstanding youth player with a very bright future ahead. He wants to see you give him the oppurtunity to prove himself on the big stage. He must start 2 league matches and all the cup matches or 5 more league matches. 7. Wesley Sneidjer recently re-joined Real Madrid and The Board are delighted to get one of the world's best midfielders into the club. Sneidjer however, knows that he is one of the best in the world, and wants to see him being treated as such. He must start 15 matches in all competitions. The Board also wants to see him live upto his label by playing a part in 15 goals in all competitions. 8. Marco Reus recently joined the club from German Giants Borussia Dortmund. Reus was absolutely briiliant for Dortmund, dispelling any sour grapes that he will not succeed at his boyhood club. The board want him to continue in the same vain and score 6 goals and get 6 assists this season in order to prove his worth to the club. Arsenal 1. With the departure of Rvp, we are in desperate need of someone to step up and take up the responsibility of scoring goals. Oliver Giroud believes that he is up for the task. The Board want you to give him this oppurtunity but ensure that he does justice to the role. He must start at least 15 league games and score at least 5 goals. 2. With the departure of Theo Walcott, a gap has been left on the flanks. The Board believes that the club has a large amount of wing options and they want to give everyone an oppurtunity at the front spot. All wingers rated 87 and above must play at least 3 matches. 3. Mario Mandzukic is in red-hot form and was recently brought in from Bayern Munich. The Board wants to see Mandzukic playing and continuing his form. He must start at least 10 league matches and net at least 3 goals. 4. Arsenal have a notorious reputation of bad defending. This is a cause of concern for The Board and they would like to see you give youth a chance in the defence too see how they fare in comparison to the experienced legs.. All youth defenders must be play at least 2 league matches. 5. Arsenal have an illustrious youth system and have produced some great players over the years. The Board is keen to see the next star from your academy. All youth players rated 80 and below must play at least 1 cup match and one league match and all youth players rated above 80 must play at least 3 league matches. 6. Jack Wilshere recently returned from a long injuiry lay-off and is essential to the club. The Board do not want to see him injuired again. You must ease him back into the team without putting too much strain on him causing him to get injuired again. He can only start 12 league matches. 7. Alessandro Matri was recently brought in from Juventus for a princely fee of 15 Million Euros. The Board sincerely believe that he is well worth his transfer fee but want to see him proving it as well. He must score at least 5 league goals. Chelsea 1. Chelsea have spent heavily in the summer, reinforcing their attack with the signings of The Belgian Starlet - Eden Hazard, The German Messi - Marko Marin, Brazilian Genius- Oscar and Victor Moses. Although The Board is keen to see their marquee signings prosper, they are worried that too many changes are occuring simultaneously. Only 2 of these 4 can start in the team together. 2. John Terry has been in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. Many people are calling for his head. We feel that these personal attacks by the press has affected him mentally. He is faced with a volley of abuse on Chelsea's travels and The Board feels that this will affect his tactical awareness. He cannot start more than 4 away games. 3. The Board is concerned that Frank Lampard's attacking ability is slowly deteriorating and that he is not as fast as he used to be. They want to see him play but not in an attacking role. He cannot start any matches as attacking midfielder. 4. In the past summer, Chelsea saw the departure of their strikers Didier Drogba and Salomon Kalou. To add to that, young Romelu Lukaku was sent out on loan. So they are heavily reliant on Fernando Torres to spearhead their attack. He must find the net at least 7 times during the course of the campaign. 5. Chelsea have a dearth of youth potential and The Board is keen to see this potential utilised properly. All youth players must play every Cup match and 1 league match. 6. David Luiz is brilliant venturing forward but he leaves a gap in the defence which often results in a goal. This is a serious cause of concern for The Board as they do not want to see unnecessary goals being conceded. If at any point in the season, he gets a rating below 7, then he must be dropped for the following 2 matches. 7. Leandro Damiao, the highly rated Brazilian No. 9 was recently brought in from Internacional for a jaw-dropping 32 Million Pounds. He must live upto his insane price tag with at least 5 league goals. 8. Javier Mascherano was recently brought into Chelsea and The Board are delighted to get someone of Mascherano's experience and ability to bolster their squad. They however, feel that Mascherano is best playing in midfield rather than in defense. He cannot play more than 4 matches in defense. Manchester United 1. David De Gea recently joined Man United for a Premier League record of 18.5 M Pounds, which is the highest transfer fee ever paid for a keeper in the Premier League. He is however increasingly concerned with the fact that lack of faith has placed in him & with his lack of matches. The Board do not want to see his talent wasted. He must start all league matches. 2. The center back combination of Vidic & Ferdinand is becoming too slow for the fast paced league. They are not fit enough to deal with the increasing pace and youth in the modern game. The Board is not keen to see them play together too often. Both of them cannot start together for more than 6 league matches. 3. Paul Scholes and Ryan Giggs are The Old Guard of Manchester United. They were influential in United's revival in last year's campaign. The Board feels that they still have much to offer despite their age. They must start together as central midfielders for at least 5 league matches. 4. Manchester United invested heavily in bringing in the highly rated Nick Powell and Angelo Henriquez this summer. The board are excited by their sky-high potential and hope they can develop into a world-class player under your regime. They however are concerned that playing on the reserves is not enough for them to achieve their potential. They must both play 1 league match and all cup matches. 5. With the recent addition of Rvp, United's squad is loaded with top class young strikers in Javier Hernandez and Danny Welbeck. The Board feels that all of them are outstanding strikers and do not want you to neglect any of them. Each of them must play at least 4 league matches. 6. Manchester United are well known for bringing in the top talent from Manchester and England and grooming them into world class players. The Board are keen on continuing this tradition. All English players aged 25 and below must play 1 league match. 7. Manchester United's favorite son in Wayne Rooney, recently departed to Barcelona. This has left many fans saddened even though it saw Cesc Fabregas joining The Red Devils. Fabregas is keen to win over the fan's approval. He must play part in at least 12 goals this season. 8. David Silva was recently brought in from arch-rivals Manchester City. The Board are delighted to get a player of Silva's calibre into their squad. They want to see him pulling the strings in midfield. He must provide at least 8 assists in the league. Juventus 1. Andrea Pirlo has enjoyed a personal renaissance since his Bosman transfer from fierce rivals AC Milan. The board are worried that his age is beginning to take it's toll on his performances, and thus want him to play no more than 14 of the coming season's league matches. He has to however play at least 9 of them, before he seeks a transfer. 2. The board is displeased that Lucio has only played one league game for Juventus this season despite playing well. The board wants him to start 3 consecutive games and appear in at least 8 games this season, regardless of comepetition. 3. Arturo Vidal has become the heartbeat of this team and has been getting plaudits for his hard tackling ways that allow the team to express themselves. The board think that he is playing best in the center of the park, and want him to play no more than 4 matches in defence. 4. Paul Pogba has played very well when he has been called upon this season. However the board is worried that all the praise that has been coming in will be going to his head and cause him to ask for a larger contract, and this could anger older players, especially since he left United for Juventus. The board feels that Pogba should only appear a maximum of 5 times in the league, unless he improves markedly(ie a rise to 80+) 5. Juventus are popularly known around the world as The Old Lady. They have a long lasting tradition of winning numerous trophies with veterans. The Board would very much like to continue this tradition under your reign. All players aged 29 and above must play at least 2 league matches with the exception of keepers. 6. You recently brought in one of the best talents in the world in Silva Neymar for a shocking 64 Million Euros. The Board however, are not concerned about the price-tag as they are well aware of Neymar's unlimited potential and ability. He must start at least 13 league games and net at least 6 times. Manchester City 1. Mario Balotelli believes himself to be one of the best players in the world. Many people scoff at this claim. We want to give Balotelli the oppurtunity to prove to his haters that he is indeed one of the best. You must start him for the first 5 matches of the season. If he scores 3 or more goals, then he must play 5 more league matches at least. However, if he doesn't score 3 goals then he cannot play for 3 matches. 2. Man City have often been accused of not giving English players enough oppurtunities. The Board is keen to hear the end of this. In every match there must be at least 2 English players playing and all English players in the squad must play at least 2 matches. 3. Manchester City owe much of their Premier League Victory to the Aleksander Kolarov. He put in some incredible performances and The Board is keen to see more of him. He must start at least 10 matches together. 4. Manchester City are blessed with enormous amounts of attacking talent. However, with so much competition in their midst, unhappiness is almost unavoidable. To prevent this, you must play all forwards in your squad for at least one match. 5. Manchester City are often attacked by the press for not giving youth a chance. The Board feels there may be some truth in the accusations and want to see more youth being given oppurtunities. All youth players must play at least 2 matches. 6. Thomas Muller feels that he has returned to his best form after a lacklustre 2011-12 season. Consequently, the young German now expects to start at least 10 league matches , and appear in a further 5. The board now expects him to grab at least 6 assists this season. 7. The recent acquisition of Gareth Bale from Tottenham Hotspur was a huge one. Bale is one of the fastest players around and one of the best young wingers as well. The Board feel that he is best in midfield. He cannot play any matches in defense and must also provide 5 league assists. Paris Saint-Germain 1. Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been spectacular for PSG after his big money move, and has won over many who doubted his ability to play at the highest level. As a result, the board wants him to start at least 12 league games and end up as the club's top scorer this season. He must also maintain an average rating of 7.5. 2. Thiago Silva has been virtually under no pressure since his move from AC Milan, and has performed admirably despite being unhappy with the move. The club wants him to play all league games this season in order to ensure that he integrates fully and forgets Milan. 3. Lavezzi has been widely criticised after failing to make an impact at PSG after his move from Napoli. The board are very unhappy with what they feel is unfair judgement. They want you to start him over the first 6 league games. If he manages to create 3 goals, be it scoring himself or assisting someone else, you can play him whenever. However, failing to do so will mean that he can only appear a further 3 times in the league. 4. Mamadou Sakho is unhappy that the club has bought yet another CB in Silva, and feels that this threatens his position at the club. He is however willing to ignore it as long as he starts ahead of your third best center back, 9 times in the league. 5. PSG are blessed with an amazing squad and have near unbeatable depth. As a result, you must name a different squad with at least 3 changes every 3 league matches. 6. PSG has attracted quite a lot of interest ever since their takeover by Qatar Investment Group and as such many young players have flocked to the club. All youth players must play at least 1 game all season. 7. 22 year old Toni Kroos has really come into his own this season, and has established himself as a firm regular for the club. The board is happy with the progress that he's made and want him to start at least 9 games this season. 8. The signing of star full-back, Leighton Baines to the club was a massive move. Baines has proven time and time again that he is one of the best around. He must start all league matches in which he is 80% or more fit. 9. The recent acquisition of Cameroonian Hitman, Sammy Eto'o from Russian Giants Anzhi delights The Board. They want to see Eto'o starting at least 15 league games and netting at least 9 goals in the process. Bayern Munich 1. With the recent signing of Mats Hummels from arch-rivals Borussia Dortmund, you have a very formidable defense. You must keep at least 5 clean sheets and cannot concede over 22 goals. 2. "The Ox" is an outstanding youth player and is already being called one of England's best talents in a long time. He is well aware of this. The Board are keen to see how he develops and want you to mould him into one of the world's best. To do this he must be given the oppurtunity to flourish. He must start at least 5 league games and all your cup games. 3. Bayern are blessed with great attacking players from Shaqiri to Gomez and Robben. As a result, the board wants to ensure that all of them gets the required playing time. All 89+ forwards and wingers must play at least 4 games this season. 4. Bayern are known for their exhilarating possession based football that yields a lot of goals. With the amount of attacking talent at your disposal, the board expects the strikers to score a minimum of 25 goals this season. 5. You recently acquired young Serbian prodigy Matija Nastasic. He realizes that he is not contending for a starting spot in the team but feels that he has been bought to improve and be the best he can for the club and to do so, he must play matches. He must start at least 3 league games and all cup fixtures. 6. Brazilian Starlet, Lucas Moura was recently brought in from French Giants Paris St. Germain. The Board are ecstatic to get a talent of Lucas's ability into their squad. They however, realize that he is just 20, and you cannot rush into things. He must start at least 8 league games but cannot start more than 12. 7. Sergio Busquets, the young Spanish Midfielder, recently joined the club. The Board is well aware of his unlimited potential and ability. He however, has a long history of bad conduct. He cannot pick up more than 4 yellow cards in the league, else he risks a 5 match suspension. 8. Samir Nasri recently joined Bayern and is one of The Board's proudest signings. They however, want him to perform to his full capability at his new club. He must play part in 10 goals in the league. 9. Ilkay Gundongan has done very well with great performances and stands a serious shout for a place in the German NT. He must start at least 4 games this season, else he'll go on strike for the first 4 games of next season. Dortmund 1. Bastian Schweinsteiger is the heartbeat of any squad, teams often struggle without him. The board wants to reduce the club's dependence on him, and wants him to play no part in cup matches whatsoever, and start a maximum of 12 league matches. 2. Dortmund have seen some very good youth come through the academy recently, and the club wants to place some faith in them. All youths rated 80+ must play at least 3 matches. 3. Sebastien Kehl, was one of last season's star performers, leading by example as captain. The Board want him to continue on this run. He must start 12 league games and in all these matches, he must be captain. 4. Dortmund recently acquired Argentinian Poacher, Gonzalo Higuain from Real Madrid. The Board want to see him spear-heading your attack. He must start at least 15 league games and net at least 10 times. 5. Angel Di Maria recently moved to Dortmund, from Spanish Giants Real Madrid. The Board is confident that he can provide a large number of goal scoring oppurtunities whilst playing. He must be a part in at least 8 goals in the league. 6. The recent acquisition of Danish Superstar, Christian Eriksen from Ajax proved to be a massive move for the club considering Eriksen's unlimited ability and potential. They want to see him flourishing at the club. He must start at least 10 league matches. Division 2 Milan 1. Robinho is your figurehead – he has been a player of promise for all of his career and your chairman feels he should be entering peak form – he expects Robinho to score a minimum of 6 goals in the league. 2. Abate has the world at his feet, but is inconsistent – your fans expect a rating of 7 or higher for the season in the league – if this is not met they will demand De Sciglio be given the starting RB position for the first 5 matches of next season. 3. El Shaawary is exciting everyone at the club – everyone wants to see him start at least 10 games in the league. 4. De Sciglio is seen a huge prospect at Milan – he must start in all cup games. 5. You have a wealth of talent up front – Robinho/Pato/Pazzini/El Shaawary – the club would like to see a positive goal difference of at least 10 in the league 6. The fans would like to see the next generation of Milan players this season – you must play only u23 players in the cup, with the exemption of 1 over player who must captain the side. 7. The signing of The Portugal No. 1, Rui Patricio from Sporting CP delights The Board and fans alike to see a young outstanding keeper at the club. However, to get him, it say proven Christian Abiatti leave the other way. The Board want him to make the fans forget all about Abiatti and to do so he must keep at least 4 clean sheets in the league. 8. Mehdi Benatia recently joined the club from fellow Italians, Udinese. The Board are confident that he can fill the void in defense left by Thiago Silva and want him to start at least 12 league games. Internazionale 1. Mesut Ozil, the young German Superstar recently joined the club from Spanish Giants Real Madrid. Ozil has won himself world-renowned acclaim as one of the best young midfielders around and a formidable force, for club and country. The Board want to see him live upto his acclaim by l=playing part in at least 12 league goals. 2. Milito is in the heart of the fans and they feel he still has plenty to offer – they expect him to score 6 league goals this season 3. Zanetti is a legend, he is Inter through and through – everyone loves him and they demand he start at least 10 league games. 4. Juan is touted as the next Lucio and he believes he should be given a shot – he would like to start 8 league games 5. Although some consider Inter to be in transition – the board still feel you have the stars to push for promotion and see no reason why a top 4 finish isn’t possible. If this feat is not achieved, first-teamers, will get increasingly concerned. 6. Walter Gargano recently joined the club from arch-rivals Napoli for a fee of 9 Million Euros. The Board are very pleased to bring in a player of his quality and ability and feel that he must command a first team spot. He must start at least 9 league games. Liverpool 1. Gerrard is still the orchestrator of the team – he is expected to get a minimum of 5 assists in the league. 2. Suarez’s talent is endless – they board expect 7 league goals and a rating of over 7.5 this season. 3. Allen is seen as Gerrard’s sidekick and must step up and help Gerrard this season – 5 assists is a minimum. 4. Sterling is seen as the jewel in Liverpool’s crown – the fans demand to see him start 5 league games and play in all of the games in the cub. 5. After being excited by the prospect of Sterling, the fans expect to see Kelly, Coates, Shelvey and Suso given a chance in the cup. They must play all cup games. 6. The signing of Jorge Rolando has ensured that the club have 3 outstanding defenders, in Agger, Rolando and Skrtel. The Board are concerned that one of them might end up getting concerned. All 3 of must play a minimum of 8 league games. 7. The return of Alberto Aquilani to Anfield has displeased The Board considering his last stay at Anfield. They want to give him the opportunity to redeem himself but if he fails to do so, pay the consequence. He must start the first 5 league matches and want him to play part in at least 3 goals.If he does so, he must play 10 more league games. However, if he doesn't, he can only start 3 more games in the league. Tottenham Hotspur 1. Immensely talented French Midfielder, Yann M'Vila recently joined the club from Rennes. The Board are delighted that you brought in such a young player of massive ablility into the squad and want him to be a consistent starter. He must play at least 13 league games. 2. Defoe is experiencing a golden patch of late – he must get a minimum of 5 goals this season 3. Vertonghnan is seen as your on field captain – the fans demand he start every league game possible. 4. The club see Caulker as a huge prospect for club and country – 10 league games is a must for his development. 5. The chairman thinks you have the most even squad in the division – they would like to see every 89 start a minimum of 10 games each (across all comps – can be mixed) 6. The recent acquisition of Carlos Tevez has made The Board and the fans alike extremely happy to see one of the best strikers in the world at the club. Tevez must repay their faith by scoring at least 8 league goals. 7. The Board is unhappy with the fact that Victor Valdes is being increasingly criticized for his errors. They want to make sure that these accusations are not valid and are just sour grapes. He must prove this to the Board by attaining at least 5 Clean Sheets. 8. The much sought-after, pacy and experienced Spanish Winger, Jesus Navas signed for the club. A player of his calibre and proven ability is a great addition to the team and The Board want to see him play an important attacking role for the club. He must play part in at least 8 goals. Shakhtar 1. Willian is the star of the team – he must have a hand in 8 goals across the board this season 2. Srna is captain fantastic and most consider him as the world’s finest RB – the fans demand he start every league and cup game if his fitness is over 80% 3. Detinho is exciting the club – they want him to start 10 league games this term 4. Mkhitaryan is becoming world class, he expected to get 5 assists and 3 goals this season. 5. You have the best squad depth in the league – you are expected to play at least 3 youth players in the cup 6. Kevin Strootman, the coveted Dutch midfielder, put pen to paper recently and signed for the club. At just 22, he is one of the most promising young mid-fielders in the footballing world. The Board want him to continue improving at the club and want him to start at least 15 league games. 7. German "Super Keeper" Marc Andre Ter Stegen was first on many club's "To Buy" list but he joined Shakhtar. The Board are ecstatic to get a quality young keeper and want him to play all league matches. Zenit 1. Hulk needs to live up to his huge price tag – 7 goals and 3 assists is a minimum requirement from the board and fans. 2. Kerzhakov is still the clubs main striker and 4 goals is expected from him this season 3. The Board are happy to see that you have re-enforced your defense with the signings of Toby Alderweireld and Alvaro Dominguez. They however, are also keen to see the worth of their money, the two must start together for at least 15 league matches and you must keep at least 4 clean sheets. 4. Denisov has some making up to do after moaning like a spoilt brat about new signings – the fans were deeply upset by this as they love Denisov – a rating of 7 for the season is a minimum. 5. Although the board have brought in Hulk and Witsel for big money – they expect a full Russian team to be played in the cup. 6. Georginho Wijnaldum, former PSV star, recently joined the club and The Board are very pleased to see a young player of his ability at the club and want him too see the light of the football pitch. He must start at least 12 league games. Valencia 1. Marek Hamsik recently joined the club from Napoli and brought along a stellar reputation. Hamsik was brilliant for Napoli over the past few seasons, with his accurate through balls and ability to thread key passes. The club is however worried about his goals contribution, and thus have set him a target of 5 goals and 6 assists this season. 2. Bosnian Poacher Edin Dzeko recently joined the club from Manchester City. The Board want him to spear-head your attack and get at least 7 league goals. 3. Bruno Cesar recently joined the club from Portuguese Giants Benfica. The deal saw Spanish starlet Canales go the other way, The Board however, are pleased with Cesar and want him to start at least 10 league games. 4. Cissokho was once thought of as the next best full back to immerge, the board feel you should keep faith in him and that he should play in 15 league games this season 5. The signing of Diego Ribas from Wolfsburg was a big move for the club to get a player of Diego's ability into your squad. The Board want to see him pulling the strings in midfield and thus play a part in 10 goals in all competitions. 6. Etienne Capoue is rated very highly around the football world and signing him was a great move for the club. They want to see him start at least 10 league games. Lazio 1. Hernanes is undoubtedly the star of the team – your assistant manager things a target of having a hand in 8 goals is fair so must achieve this. 2. Klose feels he still has lots to offer – he has set himself a personal target of 8 goals this season 3. Candreva is loving life at Lazio, he feels he should play is 15 games this season – your chairman thinks if you show this kind of faith in him he should repay you with 5 goals. 4. Cavanda is an exciting prospect the board are very proud of acquiring from Man City – they would like to see him develop further under your tutelage and play in all cup games and 5 league games this season 5. The Italians are a proud nation – survival is a must else The Italian stars of them team will be very concerned. 6.With the exception of Cavanda – you are welcome to play any players you wish in the cup – they board would like a cup run, but see survival as more important. They feel that this is essential for the star players in the squad to stay happy so if this not achieved, your star players (Top 3) will get increasingly concerned and might seek a move away from the club. Schalke 1. Huntelaar is loved by all at the club – he is dangerous and they would like to see him get a minimum of 6 goals this season 2. Draxler is THE next big German star – he must play in a minimum of 15 league games or the fans will not be happy 3. Papadopoulos has long been linked with a move away but stays loyal – reward him by starting every league game as long as his fitness is over 80% 4. Neustadter is seen as a real coup by many at the club – he must play in every league game that Draxler does in order to develop a partnership that could be vital 5. Your star signing in the transfer market, is no doubt Spanish Legend, David Villa. The Board are delighted to see one of the world's best in Villa come to the club and want to see him lead the club from the front. He must score at least 10 league goals. 6. The Board are delighted to see you take the initiative to improve the club for the present as well as the future with the signing of young German keeper, Ron-Robert Zieler. He must start all league games and maintain at least 3 clean sheets. 6.German teams are always seen as solidly built – 5 clean sheets in the league is essential ! Malaga 1. Isco is the star of the team, a wonderful player – he is expected to start in at least 12 league games having a hand in 5 goals. 2. Joaquin is Mr Reliable – he must start in all games alongside Isco in order to mentor him through. 3. The club are desperate for Toulalan to come good on their investment – they would like him to receive a minimum rating of 7 this season 4. Caballero has won back the no.1 shirt – he must start 12 league games this season. 5. Wilfried Bony has been in red-hot form this season and recently signed for the club. The Board are keen to see more of him and want him to start at least 8 league games. 6. Seen as an exciting attacking club – the fans would like to see an average of 1.5 goals a game this season 7. The signing of Belgian Star, Kevin Mirallas from Everton has been considered as a mastermind by many football pundits. The Board share their opinion however want him to prove himself as well. He must play part in at least 8 goals in all competitions. Division 3 Atletico Madrid 1. Radamel Falcao has attracted widespread acclaim after his goalscoring exploits for the club. The player now feels that he is irreplaceable for the club and wants to play every match where his match fitness is 80% and above. The board expects him to score at least 10 goals this season in all competitions. 2. Diego Godin has been at the heart of the Atletico Madrid defence since his move from Villarreal, and is one of the best defenders in the league. The board feels that with him at the back, the club should not concede more than 20 goals this season, while maintaining a match rating of 7.00 3. 4. Joao Miranda is worrying the board with his indiscipline, and they fear that his tendency to foul will result in troubles for the club. For every 3 yellow cards he gets in the league, he must serve a personal domestic suspension of 1 match. 5. The board are unsettled by the fact that there are two very good keepers in the squad with new signing, Diego lopez and Asenjo lacking confidence with the new signing being brought in. They expect you to play one keeper solely in the league and the other solely in the cups in order to make sure that both keepers are happy. 6. Atletico Madrid are known for their policy of player rotation, and the board is happy with the strength in depth. As such, they wish to see the lesser known players getting enough paying time as well. You can only name the same starting lineup for 3 league matches in a row and make at least 4 changes to the team for every 4th match played. 7. Stefan Jovetic recently joined the club from Fiorentina and The Board are delighted to add one of the best young strikers around to the squad and want him to be a key figure up-front. He must start at least 10 league games and score at least 5 league goals. 8. The addition of a very reliable full-back in Marcio Rafinha is a big move for the club and The Board want to see him playing an important role in your campaign this season. He must start at least 12 league games. Newcastle United 1. Yohan Cabaye and Hatem Ben Arfa are proving to be a wonderful mix, and the club hope that this relationship can continue. They expect both to start at least 10 league games together. If not, both of them will strike and refuse to play for the first 5 games of next season. 2. Mike Williamson has surprisingly been one of the club's best performers this season, ahead of captain Fabricio Coloccini. He expects to be named captain at least 5 times this season. The player expects to play at least 14 games this season. 3. Demba Ba has scored 7 times already this season and the board are delighted with that fact. They however worry that he and Papiss Cisse cannot score together, as can be seen last season. Thus, they want the 2 to start together for the first 9 league games of the season. Afterwards, whoever has scored more in the league will be the undisputed CF. The player with less goals cannot start more than 2 games as forward. 4. Sylvain Marveaux and Gabriel Obertan have been extremely large disappointments since they moved to Tyneside, and the baord are extremely dissatisfied with their consistently poor performances. As a result, they are not to be played for more than 5 games this season unless there is an injury situation. 5. Newcastle are known for their aggressive play and the board feel that there is no problem with that. they are however worried that the club is being too aggressive, and they want to maintain the image of a fair club. They want to limit it to 15 yellows cards and 5 red cards throughout the entire season. 6. Despite all their attacking endeavour, Newcastle have been known to let leads slip. The board are worried that such situations can damage the club's ability to challenge for trophies. Ensure that you do not lose or draw at most 7 matches after going in front. 7. The addition of the outstanding French center back, Yanga from Montpellier is a big move forward for the club considering his unlimited potential and ability. The Board wants to see Yanga playing at least 12 league matches as your starting center back. 8. Croatian Star recently joined the club from German Champions Dortmund and considerably bolsters your midfield. Perisic is on the rise and The Board wants to see you help him improve by starting him for at least 8 league games. SL Benfica 1. Rodrigo Moreno has many fans after he scored 16 goals in his first full season in Portugal. The club are proud that they have secured a top talent. However, the club believe that he is still young and lacks the experience to lead the line. thus they want him to start a maximum of 9 league matches, but all the cup ones. 2. Oscar Cardozo has been terrific this season, having scored 11 goals in the Liga Sagres. The board expects them to perform equally as well, and thus have set a target where he must score at least 8 goals in all competitions. 3. Ezekiel Garay has emerged to be one of the absolute best defenders in the Liga Sagres, and the board feels that he should be allowed to continue that way. They want him to start all matches where his match fitness is above 85%. The Board also believes that he shows great leadership skills on the pitch and would make a brilliant captain. He must be captain for the first 5 league games and if he wins 3, then he must be captain for all matches he plays. 4. Andre Almeida has performed well in the Champions League this season despite only appearing twice in the league. He understands that he is still young and requires room to grow, but he has made it clear that he expects to appear in all cup matches and play at least 5 league matches this season. 5. Benfica is renowned for playing exciting, attractive attacking football and the board wants to make sure that they continue to do so. They expect the team to score at least 25 goals throughout the regular season. 6. Recently, the club has made 2 big money signings in young wingers Ola John and Eduardo Salvio. As a result to prove that their massive investment is worth it, you must start both of them in at least 8 league games, and they must create 8 goals together within that time. 7. The addition of Spanish Poacher Alvaro Negredo from Sevilla is a great addition to the club and The Board wants to see him being a key-figure in your attack. He must play at least 12 league matches and score at least 5 league goals. 8. Dejan Lovren recently signed for Benfica and this delights The Board to see a player of his quality and proven ability come into your defense. He must start at least 15 league games. FC Porto 1. Joao Moutinho has been brilliant for Porto this season after his proposed transfer to Tottenham fell through. The board expect him to continue playing well, and if he falls below a 7 match rating at any given time, he must be dropped for the next match. 2. Jackson Martinez has coped admirably with the pressures of replacing Radamel Falcao. The board wants him to score at least 7 goals this season to prove that he is indeed the right man, or maintain an average match rating of 7. 3. Alex Sandro has performed well for the club when called upon, and is regarded as a precocious talent amongst leftbacks. As a result, he expects to play at least 10 of the league games next season. 4. James Rodriguez and Alex Sandro have stablished as dangerous partnership down the Porto left, and have terrorised defenders this season. The board wants you to start them together at least 11 times this season. 5. Porto are unbeaten in their previous 34 home games(as of 11-11-12). The board is extremely proud of this record, and demands that you win at least 5 home games this season. The board will also only tolerate 1 home loss. If you lose then you cannot play your best 2 players in the next 2 away games. 6. The club are extremely pleased with the amount of young players available at the club's disposal. They want every youth player above 80 rating to play all cup matches and at least 1 league match. 7. The Board are delighted to acquire Belgian Superstar, Axel Witsel from Zenit. They want to see the team based around him. He must start all league games in which he is 80% or more fit. 8. Montpellier's prized asset, Younes Belhanda recently joined Porto and delighted Porto fans all around the world. The Board share the fans feeling of euphoria and wants to see this young superstar flourish at the club. He must start at least 15 league games and play a part in at least 8 goals. SSC Napoli 1. Hugo Campagnaro and Miguel Britos have been absolutely rock solid at the back this season, and are a huge reason for the club's current standing. The board wants them to start at least 13 league matches together. 2. Sofiane Feghouli had a brilliant season with Valencia last year and The Board are delighted to bring in a young player in such amazing form into the club. However, they also feel it essential that he continue in this vain by providing at least 5 league assists. 3. Alexis Sanchez recently joined the club from Barcelona and The Board are delighted to see you bring in a player of his quality, that too of just 23 years of age. They want to see him be your star performer by playing part in at least 10 league goals. 4. Lorenzo Insigne has been good after returning from a very successful loan spell at Pescara, showing glimpses of his enormous potential with his abilty to hold the ball up and bring others into play. However, his finishing is very poor for a club of Napoli's standing. He is expected to score at least 5 goals this season, and must start all cup matches. 5. Napoli are known for their possession based football, and abilty to control the game. The board wants this continue, and expects you to have at least 55% possession in 10 league matches this season. 6. Much of Napoli's success has been down to having a consistent first eleven, ensuring that players understand each other well. The club is happy with this, but wants to give some youngsters opportunities as well and thus have set that you cannot play the same starting line-up for more than 4 consecutive league matches. 7. Kevin Grosskreutz recently joined the club from Borussia Dortmund. The Board believe that he is the man to fill the large void left by the departure of Edinson Cavani. He must score at least 5 league goals this season. CSKA Moskva 1. Akinfeev is one of the world’s best keepers and captain of your club. He must play in every league game and be captain for it. He is also expected to lead by example and keep at least 5 clean sheets this season. 2. Doumbia is by far your best forward, pacey, strong and has a keen eye for goal. He feels that he should be starting every game that he is at least 85% match fit for, as he believes he is vital to your promotion campaign. The board have also set him a target of 8 goals for the season in all competitions 3. Dzagoev is by far your best youth player. After several top performances at the Euro’s he is starting to get himself noticed on an international scale however the board is concerned that he might burn out if played too much. In order to avoid injury he can only play in matches if his fitness is above 90%. 4. The Berezutsky brothers have a fantastic relationship having grown up playing together they have developed a great understanding and really rely on each other to play well. Because of this you may only play them if both are on the pitch at the same time unless after 5 games they have conceded 5 goals at which point they can be played independently. 5. CSKA are renowned for their pacey attacking play and as a result the board expects your team to score at least 22 goals in all competitions this season. 6. The club are very proud of their Russian heritage and expect at least 4 Russian players to be in the starting line up for each game. 7. Your star signing in the transfer market has no doubt been the Former Juventus hitman, Mirko Vucinic. The Board are happy that Vucinic has been brought in and want him to be spear-head your attack as well as the club to victory. He must score at least 8 league goals. 8. Gonalons Maxime, is a very promising young midfielder and was recently brought in from Lyon. The Board wants to see him playing a pivotal midfield role and start at least 12 league games and play part in at least 7 league goals. Lille OSC 1. After selling Eden Hazard to Chelsea in the summer Lille bought Salomon Kalou as a replacement. Hazard was by far the best performer last season getting 22 goals and 16 assists in all competitions. The board knows Kalou is not of the same calibre and thus only expect him to score 3 goals but assist at least 9 times. 2. Debuchy’s stock has risen after a great season and he knows it. He expects to play in every league game he is at least 80% fit for as he feels he is one of the key players at the club. 3. The board feels Digne could develop into a top LB in the future. Because of this they want to see him given more first team opportunites. As a result he must start at least 5 league games this season and all cup matches. 4. Balmont and Pedretti are aware that they competing for places in the side as Mavuba has proven himself to be the best DM at the club. With only one spot left in CM to fight for the board has decided that you must pick Balmont for league games exclusively and Pedretti for cup games exclusively unless one of them picks up an injury/suspension. 5. Lille last season set up most of their goals from wide positions and feel as though this is there best means of attack. They expect 18 goals/assists to come from wide players (LM/RM/Wing) 6. Lille only lost twice last season at home and so the board expects the same solidity at home this season. They expect you to only lose 2 games or less this season at home. 7. Giuseppe Rossi was recently brought in from Villareal for the sole purpose of leading the club to victory with his great attacking ability. He must score at leasy 8 league goals this season. 8. You've been very busy in the transfer market, bolstering the defense part of your squad with some great defense signings. The Board are delighted to see players like Musacchio, Aurier and De Vrij join the club. They however, are concerned that one of them might become unhappy due to lack of matches and want all 3 of them to start at least 8 league matches. Bayer Leverkusen 1. Stefan Kießling is in the best form of his life, after scoring 7 goals in 11 Bundesliga games. The player now expects to start every game in which he has a condition of above 80%, while the board has set him a target of 5 goals this season. 2. Andre Schurrle was disappointed that he did not secure a dream move to European champions Chelsea, but he is ready to move on with life in Germany. He expects to play 14 of league matches and has set himself a personal goal of playing a part in 8 goals this season whether he scores them or provides them. 3. Spanish right back Daniel Carvajal has been a revelation since his summer move from Real Madrid, having already established himself as the starting RB. As a result the player wants to start at least 3 league matches, and must appear in all cup games. 4. Lars Bender has been receiving a lot of plaudits for his performances in the middle of the park for the club. The club are happy that he is playing to their expectations. He must achieve a match rating of 7 every match or face a drop to the bench. 5. The club are unhappy that Sidney Sam and Renato Augusto have barely played this season despite being 2 of the club's best players. Start both of them for the first 6 games of the season. If they underachieve, ie get average match ratings of 6.5 and below, and fail to create 5 goals, they can only start 3 times more in the league. 6. The club is very happy that the central defensive pairing of Omer Toprak and Philipp Wollscheid are performing so well at this stage of the season. They want you to play the 2 together at least 10 times this season. 7. Pablo Armero joining the club proved to be a great boost to your squad, with his versatility as well as ability. They want to see him his versatility utilised to the maximum. He must play at least 5 matches in defense and at least 5 in midfield. Athletic Club 1. Fernando Llorente is no doubt your best attacking player and has attracted big offers from many clubs. He has plenty of competition for the center striker role and The Board feel that he must earn that position. He must score at least 7 goals altogether in competitive competitions. 2. Iker Munian is the club's biggest talent and also one of the club's best players. While The Board don't want to go too quickly with a player of his age, they are keen to give him oppurtnuties to play as they feel he can develop into a world class player. He must play at least 12 league games and all cup games. 3. Gorka Iraizoz is the club's best keeper and has played brilliantly in the past for the club. However, The Board do realize that he is ageing and want him to justify his place in the team. He must keep at least 5 clean sheets in all competitions. 4. Iraola has been one of the club's best performers as a fullback. Although The Board is pleased with his performance in defence, they want to see how useful his versatility can be. He must play 3 matches as a right midfielder and if he maintains an average rating of 8 or above, he must play 2 more matches there. 5. Ander Herrera emerged last season as one of Athletic's best performers impressing pundits all over the world. The Board realize this, but they feel that he must not rest on his laurels and must continue playing well. He must give at least 8 assists in all competitions. 6. Athletic have a very young squad and their starting line up for matches is often very inexperienced. The Board realizes that giving youth an oppurtunity to play is very essential for their development, they do not want to see great talents being overwhelmed with too much responsibility whilst also giving them chances to play. In every match, there cannot be more than 3 players aged 22 and under but you must have at least 2 players aged 22 or under. EXCEPTION: Iker Muniain picked up an injury which prevents him from playing all the cup matches so he is excused from that one cup match for which he will be injured. Roma 1. Mattia Destro was recently signed from Genoa and brought to your club. The Board sees him as a great talent who can develop heaps at the club but to do this he must play matches. He must play at least 5 league games and all cup games or an addition 5 league games. 2. Daniele De Rossi has been an absolute rock in defense for Roma and has proved himself to be the talisman of the club. As delighted as The Board are with his performances in defense, they feel that he can play equally well in a more attacking position i.e in the center of the park. He must play at least 4 matches as center midfielder. 3. Erik Lamela has received plaudits all over the world for his outstanding performances and consistent goal scoring for the club and has been dubbed as The Next Big Thing. Lamela realizes this and feels that he deserves to get lots of minutes to improve his game even more. He must play at least 12 league games. 4. Miralem Pjanic is one of the best young midfielders that the club has. However, The Board are concerned that his performances haven't been upto his usual standards lately and are getting increasingly worried. The Board are keen for Pjanic to recover his original form else face the consequences. He must be a part of at least 8 goals, be it for himself or providing someone else in all competitions. 5. Roma have some outstanding youth players which have truckloads of potential. The Board wants to see this potential utilised and not wasted. All youth players must play 1 match. 6. A large number of amazing Italian players are present in the club and some very prosperous Italian youth players are also there. The Board wants is keen to see the next big Italian Talent. All Italian youth players must play 3 matches. 7. Theo Walcott recently joined the club from Arsenal. Walcott was all over the headlines at Arsenal, stating that he wanted to play as a forward. The Board are keen to avoid this kind of situation and want you to play for at least 5 matches as a forward. 8. Marouane Fellaini, was much sought-after in the transfer market and ended up joining Roma. The Board are delighted to get a player of Fellaini's ability into their squad and him to be the key figure in midfield. He must provide at least 7 assists. Important Point: Players directly involved in the rules can only be sold to managed clubs and if they are sold, the club that gets them takes responsibility for their expectations. If anybody has any doubts, suggestions, advice etc. please feel free to give your opinions. Clarifications - Manchester City Rule Number 5 - All forwards means all players that can play as a forward even if it isn't their only position. Malaga Rule Number 2 - If Joaquin gets injuired then the number of games he has to start alongside Isco will be reduced. CSKA Moskva Rule Number 4 - If after 5 matches you've conceded 5 or more goals then they can play even if the other isn't playing. They don't both have to play together. Newcastle United Rule Number 3 - When it says CF, that means yes he can play as a striker in 4-4-2. IMPORTANT POINT - Players who are directly involved with the rules can only be sold internally and the club which gets the player inherits the rules though in certain cases the rules may be tweaked a bit. Custom Concerns Division 1 Teams All youth players rated 82 and under cannot develop concerns. All youth players rated 83-86 must play 3 games All non-youth players rated below 87 cannot develop concerns. All players rated 87-89 and aged 30 or under must play at least 5 games All players rated 90+ must play at least 10 games Division 2 All players rated 80 and under cannot develop concerns. All youth players rated 83-86 must play at least 5 matches. All non-youth players rated 86 and below cannot develop concerns. All players rated 87-89 must play 10 matches. All players rated 90+ must play more than 12 matches Division 3 All players rated 79 and under cannot develop concerns. All youth players rated 80-83 must play at least 3 matches. All youth players rated 84-86 must play at least 7 matches. All non-youth players rated 83-86 must play at least 2 games All players rated 87-89 must play 12+ games. All players rated 90+ must play 15 games Punishments Venkrontrueblue11 - The player who you gave away Lima for - Aubamayeng cannot play any match and must be sold at the end of the transfer ban. He must also buy back Rodrigo Lima at the end of his transfer ban. Slbquista - Only 2 players aged under-22 can be on the pitch at the same time for the rest of the season. Venkrontrueblue11 - Luuk De Jong cannot play any game this season and he must be sold at the end of his transfer ban. You must also buy back Andre Almeida. Since this is your second offense, Rodrigo Moreno must also serve a 5 match (league) ban. He cannot play for the next 5 league matches. CLARIFICATIONS There has been a lot of confusion regarding the "start/play" issue and I'd like to clarify that once and for all. In the custom concerns, that is rules that apply for a whole division, if a player comes on as a sub it is counted as one of the required appearances. However, in player specific rules like "The Board believe Player X must play at least Y no. of games to flourish at the club", play means start. If a player gets injured, then his rule/expectation will get updated and edited accordingly to a more realistic task after taking into account the injury. However, suspensions will not cause a player's rule/expectation to get edited. [sizeUPDATE I realized that if each forumer posted their rule update in the other thread, it would clog up and the administrators might miss it due to influx of posts and not be able to monitor properly and have decided to have a new thread only for posting rule updates and custom concerns. Please do NOT use this thread for banter, transfer, gossip etc. but only for things rule and custom concerns updates. As a further addition, each club need not continuously post updates, 1 club - 1 post (Vendetta's Suggestion). Each club shall make one post with their rules and constantly edit it after each match. Any doubts, please do contact me. Thank you Link The credit for this amazing goes solely and entirely to Sean (drseanfitz) who came up with this brilliant method to save everyone time. [/center] SEASON 2 RULES:- Division 1 Division 2 Division 3 Season 3 Rules Division 1 Division 2 Division 3
  2. 1 point
    TheMar AFc

    Official Chelsea FC Thread

    Re: Official Chelsea FC Thread Got to love Rafa.
  3. 1 point
    Re: Official Gold Championships Discussions Thread Whys it strange? Instead of prejudging a situation, ask the question like I did and you will find out that its part of a 2 part deal for llorente. Bernard is the first part where he is being bought for 14mln.
  4. 1 point
    Lordy -RBA-

    Official Manchester United Thread

    Re: Official Red Devils thread Do any of you think if Scholes was not playing for Manchester United he would have a lot more red cards to his name a'la Lee Cattermole?
  5. 1 point
    Allan-NI

    Official Manchester United Thread

    Re: Official Red Devils thread
  6. 1 point
    Re: Premier League Discussion Thread My fault for being an idiot and not being here
  7. 1 point
    Justin X

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread...
  8. 1 point
    Duncan

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread... Yes anyday
  9. 1 point
    bhfanaticos_92

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread... get him before he will rise
  10. 1 point
    a-ry

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread... the angel and the german midfielder
  11. 1 point
    PinkMan

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread... Yeah, I don't really like him But 3M is nothing for a player like that who will rise next review and beyond
  12. 1 point
    Re: Premier League Discussion Thread
  13. 1 point
    Re: Poor mans Pride M/R Transfer News and Banter Thread
  14. 1 point
    KYQS

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread...
  15. 1 point
    Re: BATTLE OF GENERATIONS...the youngs vs the olds thnxx..!!!! hello..!!! every 1..!! i am the new manager of schalke
  16. 1 point
    Re: BATTLE OF GENERATIONS...the youngs vs the olds Forevrunited is now the manager of FC Porto. Schalke is now open.
  17. 1 point
    Re: Liga BBVA Ratings 2012/2013 No way. 94 more than reflects what you just said. 95+ is due only to players who can actually play football, not thugs that enjoy diving as their alternative sport.
  18. 1 point
    Marek

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Riferimento: Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread... Keep Gomez and Moutinho.
  19. 1 point
    123_ABC

    English Premiership Rating Predictions

    Re: English Premiership Rating Predictions 2012/13 No, he wont lose it, he has played RB twice this season, so I think thats enough.
  20. 1 point
    Vendetta

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread... Gomez and Moutinho for me. Gomez should have been at 94 any time now, it's been long over due. His NT is better than Higuain. Moutinho is just sweeten the deal, as both forward is 94 class. And because of that you should keep your player.
  21. 1 point
    dean

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread... Gomez and Moutinho.
  22. 1 point
    Jono6895

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread... You'd be silly to do that deal, Moutinho is a class midfielder and Gomez is much better than Higuain in my opnion.
  23. 1 point
    KYQS

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread... I'd rather have the two for now.
  24. 1 point
    Terence

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread... Firstly, you have to ask yourself a few questions. Does Moutinho start for you? How much will Higuain improve your team by? As it seems, you are compensating depth for a solid 94-rated player. If depth is important to you, keep the duo. If you have enough cover for the loss of Moutinho, then do the deal. All in all, the deal seems a fair one.
  25. 1 point
    Duncan

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread... Gomez and Moutinho easily
  26. 1 point
    SJain

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread...
  27. 1 point
    Marek

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Riferimento: Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread...
  28. 1 point
    Vendetta

    .:10000 bc:.

    Re: .:10000 bc:. - Van Klinkert Delarosa's first two signing -
  29. 1 point
    Arroto

    Bundesliga Ratings Discussion

    Re: Bundesliga Ratings 2012/2013 I can understand that there will never be a consensus about the final rating veredict but when you have more than 3/4 of the sample disagreeing I believe that should be accountable. I should note that I agree with the principle It is what it is Don't agree. You MUST compare players rises especially when they rise from the same ratings and play in the same teams and the same leagues and in the same positions. If you rule out comparisons between different players than it gives you green light to justify any new rating with any criteria you choose. Ratings are numbers and one of the advantages of using numbers in life' date=' is so that you can compare different quantities. They exist to reduce the subjectivity of things don't you agree? Agree partially, but there is even though some room for comparison IMO for players with different positions, if they play in the same NT team for example. For example you can compare Schurrle with Rolfes and justify with that his new 91. I too find all the the ratings fair. All of them. My problem is that some players got more then they deserved in reality when you COMPARE (I believe you must compare) with others. Schürrle, Götze, Pizczek and Alaba just to name a few. And I must admit I favor Götze and Schürrle I have them since pratically they were 75 rated. And I don't have Kiessling nor Castro nor Boateng . So I believe my complains are justified.
  30. 1 point
    King Leo

    Bundesliga Ratings Discussion

    Re: Bundesliga Ratings 2012/2013 A lot of debate over the recent Bundesliga Ratings. Now that it's almost finished (probably by 2moro as they have started Osasuna in La Liga already), I'd like to share these thoughts. 1. Rating are subjective. If we have a vote here on the rating of any player, say Gotze, his rating will vary between 91, 92, and 93 (I'm sure some will even go to the extremes of 90 or 94 but they can be neglected as they would constitute a marginal percentage). So there is NO Correct rating. There will NEVER be a Correct rating that everyone agrees upon. In cases like that, it is always acceptable to have a + or - (1) variation for final results. 2. You simply can't compare the rise or drop points. All you can compare is the final rating. Saying that a player got a +2 but another player got a +1 only is completely meaningless. Rising or dropping depends on the previous rating (taking into consideration the allowed +or-1 variation and how long ago was he last rated). 3. You can't compare the ratings of players in different positions. A midfielder cannot be compared to a forward. This is fairly straightforward, but it must be noted that this is based on a player's primary position. If a midfielder can also play as a forward, he should only be compared to other midfielders and not forwards. 4. Real-life stats like goals, assists, tackles, passes, etc. should NOT be used as the primary guideline to evaluate rating. These stats are hugely dependent on the team's style of play. Let me highlight his point by an example. Rooney is a forward but Man Utd's style of play (and buying Van Persie) means that he's not the spear-head of attack anymore and that his role has changed to dropping between the lines. Now that means you can't compare Rooney with Van Persie primarily on terms of goals scored, even though both are forwards. The same applies to tackles or passes (defensive teams will always have more tackles than attacking teams, possession teams will always have more passes than counterattacking teams). I look at the latest updates and I have to say almost all of them are justified according to the above mentioned criteria. Most of the complains here are about personal favoritism and are not justified (or even explained).
  31. 1 point
    John S

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Riferimento: Help With Deal(s) Thread...
  32. 1 point
    Duncan

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Riferimento: Help With Deal(s) Thread...
  33. 1 point
    Anri

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Riferimento: Help With Deal(s) Thread...
  34. 1 point
    NapoliFan101

    Official Serie A Thread

    Re: The Official Serie A Thread Couple more transfer rumours: Parma and Napoli reportedly have made bids for Radosevic. Napoli have become favorites to sign Bruno Zuculini. Hamsik's agent hasn't ruled out Hamsik ending his career at Napoli, no matter how much interest has come in for him. Brescia are tracking Milan's Strasser. Milan are after Djuricic and are set to have a meeting for Bellomo. Tim Krul and Santon being linked to Milan. Milan have no interest in having Beckham back. Manolo Gabbiadini doesn't want to move back to Juventus until at least the summer, so he can get some consistent game time to improve himself at Bologna. Iaquinta has turned down a move to West Ham. Emanuelson is open to leaving Milan, unhappy with his role. Balotelli's move to Napoli is one for the future, according to Bigon, as Napoli are set up front. Aw, oh well, the summer maybe? Milan now linked with Mourinho. Milan has held talks with the agent that represents Destro, Santon and Astori about moves. Destro and Astore seem incredibly unlikely, while Santon would only join if Abate does leave, which Milan seem to have ruled out. Fulham set to sign Stekelenburg as Fiorentina pull out. Villa and Fiorentina are front runners to sign Sissoko. Southampton linked with Zarate. Milan Baros linked to Palermo.
  35. 1 point
    Sparksy448

    Official Arsenal Thread

    Re: Official Arsenal Thread What in 2014 when his contract ends? That'll be fine by me. It's his decision what he does when his contract is up. If he decides to go to PSG then good luck to him. He'll leave as the clubs greatest ever manager and will always be a legendary manager in my eyes. EDIT: Of course this is all hypothetical considering he might sign a new contract before his current one ends in 2014. Also with making the assumption he'll move to PSG and not just retire.
  36. 1 point
    Terence

    Lamela, Pastore or Walcott

    Re: Lamela, Pastore or Walcott
  37. 1 point
    La libelulle

    Lamela, Pastore or Walcott

    Re: Lamela, Pastore or Walcott
  38. 1 point
    MaoaM

    Russian and Ukraine Player Analysis

    Re: Russian and Ukraine Player Analysis The cap was/has been 91 for a long time. There is Eto'o who is above this but that was before he joined the league and he will once again drop to around 92. I dont think Akinfeev will rise, espeically not being in the Champions League this season.
  39. 1 point
    ashish.

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread... cazorla no doubt..
  40. 1 point
    ashish.

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread...
  41. 1 point
    Overmars to Nasri

    Official Arsenal Thread

    Re: Official Arsenal Thread was disapointed to hear that tbh. Apparently he's had a poor season, is very similar to Coquelin (only 2 full seasons of football better) and is a bit of a knob...Apparently.
  42. 1 point
    HD

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread... Both can rise. Gomez would have risen in the ongoing reviews if he were not injured but he will rise in the future if he gets back his game.
  43. 1 point
    -sandals-

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread...
  44. 1 point
    rawket

    Buy, Sell or Keep Thread?

    Re: Buy, Sell or Keep Thread? Is that your whole squad? If it is you can't sell Buffon :/ Buy a young GK prospect then PE Buffon for younger players. Get replacements for Evra and Vidic. Sell Maicon for some younger player. Welbeck and Strurridge can leave the squad as well.
  45. 1 point
    Vincy

    Liga BBVA Ratings Predictions thread

    Riferimento: Re: Liga BBVA Ratings 2012/2013 Alex Serrano --> Stable/+1
  46. 1 point
    Re: Poor mans Pride M/R Transfer News and Banter Thread Yeah well I am pretty amazing My words ring like bells No need even to adjust my phrasing It's pretty easy to make words rhyme But not for you frisky coz it'll take you too much time All in all Everybody bow down to me in awe
  47. 1 point
    germlad

    Liga BBVA Ratings Predictions thread

    Re: Liga BBVA Ratings 2012/2013 Doubt it, he has only 5 appearances for Sporting Gijon "B" team. If he was reviewed now, he would stay.
  48. 1 point
    Re: Guess at next leagues to be reviewed, & discuss SM's review policy........ I agree. Is that because there wont be enough time for a proposed change to filter through there system before they do them anyway? It would make more sense for it to be England (going by games played/games left for following review)
  49. 1 point
    Taken from http://forum.valinor.com.br/showthread.php?t=42916 There you go Neller! After wasting no less than 3 hours and a half translating this text to English, I don't know who's the idiot anymore :s Anyway, the text is great, although a bit long. And sorry for the eventual spelling mistake - seven years on and I still can't write properly. Internet forums keep getting taken over by IDIOTS. We all know who they are: the stupid forum user that acts like they couldn't understand what we are saying, even when it's clear that even a monkey could; the girl that only talks about fluffy and childsh things and writes 99% of the words in different useless forms (like "ma", "ova") and fills her messages with smiles, making them illegible; the fool who seems to take everything seriously, pretending to be really smart; those retards who like to pretend that nothing is funny, just to act "cool"; the imbecile that thinks that posting a lot of messages, one after another, is a good way to be seen; etc. Point in fact, today the Internet is devasted by those IDIOTS in a way that us, poor normal people with an IQ above two digits, have become the minority, and victims of prejudice due to our irritating insistence in posting coherent and grammatically correct messages. If you're part of that minority, don't worry: YOUR PROBLEMS ARE OVER! Because... ... the Guide on How To Be An Idiot On Internet Forums has arrived!!! Now you'll learn how to become a complete IDIOT in less time than you imagine and with guaranteed results! Don't be embarrassed by your well written posts, full of information, anymore: learn how to post absolutely USELESS and RIDICULOUS things, and join the big league boys! The Guide on How To Be An Idiot On Internet Forums contains 9.5 easy steps, that even a complete dimwit can understand. This way, if you're already an idiot, you'll have the chance to take your art to perfection! Here we go: Step 1 - Registering yourself as an idiot (optional) This is an optional step, so, if you want, you can jump straight to Step 2. Of course, you need to be a registered member in order to use most forums (everybody that doesn't know that is an IDIOT), therefore it's obvious that this step isn't about how to register for an username, but how can you do it and look like an IDIOT. Firstly, you have to pick a nickname. If you really want to start improving your IDIOT-like skills right from the start, I advise you to pick the most moronic nickname you can think of. The options are relatively limited, but there's still enough to satisfy even the most picky of the IDIOTS. You can: a) create a nickname that's either mispelled or suspiciously incomplete, such as "Gandorf" or "Wayne Roon"; create a redundant nickname that leaves it clear that you don't understand anything in English, but wanted a "cool" nickname nevertheless, like "Killer Assassin Angel" ou "Flaming Blaze" (step "a" can be used in here as well, for a combo effect); c) create a ridiculous variaton of a nickname that almost certainly is being used by other 300 forumers, like "***%Joe%***" or "RRRRRRRooonaldOOOO"; d) create an illegible nickname, such as “¤´¯`•»P®¥§¢¥|_|_@....”; e) create a regular nickname. This is a risky choice, because, although some IDIOTS do use non-idiotic nicknames, they usually compensate this lack of stupidity in other aspects. So be careful when choosing this option, because you'll be wasting a perfect chance of showing just how much of an IDIOT you trully are. Remember that you need to be as less creative as posible, otherwise you'll just look like someone pretending to be an IDIOT, and that's absurd, and isn't very nice. Second part of registering to the forum as an IDIOT is filling the other fields of the registration form. This is also optional, as most IDIOTS are too lazy to fill them in and some others don't even know that there are more fields to be filled when signing up. If you choose to fill in these fields, do that in an absolutely idiotic way. Put jokes that aren't funny in the personal fields, like "oops...I forgot" or "Gee, there sure are lots of fields to be filled", etc. If you want to use a signature, use the most idiotic one you can find/create. Well known quotes, like popular sayings from 1990s or the latest Transformer flick, are a good choice. Mind boggling cryptic messages to other users/friends/unknown cosmic entities are recommended, especially if you add smilies to it. Doing all of this at once is even better! The forum signature is the first place where IDIOTS reveal their personality, and your personality must be spectacularly idiotic. Step 2 - "HI, I'M AN IDIOT" This is an obligatory step, so pay a lot of attention. IDIOTS like to create MANY threads to introduce themselves to the community, so if you don't create at least one, you won't be a considered a complete IDIOT. "But many people create threads to introduce themselves and are most certainly not IDIOTS!", you might say. You are right, but all IDIOTS do that in style. A good way to start is creating the thread on the wrong place. Look for the sub-forum that has less to do with Welcoming Threads and set up your thread there. Soon, everybody will notice how idiotic you are, and, consequently, you'll be quickly accepted as part of the clan. But don't you think it's over yet, you still have the hard work of writing your first message. At this point it's important to notice that all IDIOTS hate to write, so you must do it in the crappiest way you can (cf. Step 3, ahead). Important: when normal people read an introductory thread, they are probably looking for information about the thread stater. And it's exactly because of this that you won't leave any personal information clear and accessible to them. I'll explain: When IDIOTS read an welcoming thread they don't give a rat's arse to whom you are, they just want to post "Welcome!!!!11111one1one11" or some other less imaginative variation of spam. As such, when an IDIOT creates this kind of thread, he will not talk about himself, as he just wants people posting "Welcome!!!!11111one1one11" on it. Talking about yourself isn't forbidden, but it would be too stupid, even for the most idiotic IDIOT. (I mean, you may take the risk, but the other IDIOTS can be jealous of your level of stupidity, which would make your acceptance in their group way harder). The best option is writing a simple idiotic post, following the specifications detailed on Step 3, occasionally throwing a bit of ipersonal information in the middle of the text. This way the other IDIOTS will quickly recognize you as one of them. STEP 3 - THE ART OF READING AND WRITING AS AN Idiot This is probably the hardest part of the process. As it was previously said, IDIOTS hate to write. Still, regardless of how much they hate it, they do it all the time. And seing as you are ready to become an IDIOT, mastering the art of writing like one is indispensable. Before anything else, you must understand that they don't just hate to write. IDIOTS detest reading just as well. This way, when posting, you must not care a single bit about what is being discussed in the thread. Don't waste yur precious time reading other users' posts, this isn't necessary for an IDIOT. "But if I don't read what the others have written, how can I partake in the discussion?" Ah, blissful naivite. Post anything you want. There are no rules regarding what you should and should not post when you are an IDIOT. Talk about your neighbor's dog with ringworms of the size of a rattlesnake, talk about the girl in your school whom you fell in love for, talk about your favourite Nu Metal band, whatever springs to your disfunctional mind! IDIOTS do talk about the thread's subject occasionally, so you must do it sometimes too. But when venturing into this rarest of activities, just read the thread's first post and nothing else. Post something vaguely related to what the OP (Original Poster) said and ignore everything the other posts say. This way the other IDIOTS will soon realise that you, just like them, don't have the mental capacity to follow a discussion of more than 2 messages, and will take you in their arms in no time. Even rarer are idiots that directly answer other user's posts. If you try to do that, act with extreme caution, because if you start to actively participate in those discussions, the other IDIOTS will start to think you are annoying and will consider you simply a normal, irritating person. Considering the perils of wandering into this seldom explored territory, here are some tips: - Never use quotes. It's simply the worst thing you can do. Your message will look horribly organized, and organization is something that doesn't exist in the IDIOTS' world. Instead, copy/paste the message which you'll reply to and post your answer right above it, preferentially not adding a line break between them. This way, identifying what's the original post and what's your reply will be almost impossible. - Don't say anything constructive. Reply to the message of your preference with a very bad taste joke or an useless comment. Make no sense whatsoever. Now that I've already explained what you should write, it's time to talk about HOW you should write your posts. To IDIOTS, "grammar" is just another word which they bear little to none consideration for. Therefore, disrespect it as much as you can, and remember that there are no exaggerations when you are an IDIOT. Type 'z' instead of 's' and vice-versa; use words that mean absolutely nothing in any variation of English; see "your" and "you're" / "were", "we're" as interchangeable; make each error count and the other IDIOTS will be impressed with your lack of commom sense. Equally important are mispelling errors. A true IDIOT must type as if his fingers were being controlled by a drunk puppeteer. And the most important: never, ever, proof-read your post. Naturally, this isn't enough for a true IDIOT. One of the biggest contributions of the Internet to humanity was that, based on it, IDIOTS were able to develop their own language. If you want to be respected as an IDIOT, it's essential that you have complete domain over their vocabulary. Just like anything else created by IDIOTS, this dialect is simple and irregular. The main rule is "there are no rules", bar some basic guidelines that should be followed at yur own will. Their language involves basically the free exchange of letters withing a phrase, sometimes with the objective of making the use of the "shift" key obsolete, as that is something too complex for IDIOTS (have you ever seen an idiot pushing more than 1 key at the same time?), and other keys, just for added idiocy. Below is an small dictionary of that language, with the phonetic representantion of the letter, and it's correct pronunciation. This alphabet also seems to be used by Chavs, who probably are the evolution of the Internet-confined specimen subject to our study. o --> u (it happens when the sound of the letter "o" is covered by the sound of the "u", or "l". Example: "Could" --> "cud"); e --> (it happens when the sound of the letter “e” isn't pronounced. Example: some --> sum, come --> well, you've got the jist of it ); er --> a (it happens when the combination of the letters "er" has the same sound of an "a" with an accent. Example: other --> "ova"); th --> v (it happens when the combination of the lettrs "th" has the same sound of a "v" with an accent. See example above) Punctuation must be carefully careless, if at all extant, but pay attention to the following patterns: - Firstly, completely forget about the standard punctuation method you learned at school. Pretend it doesn't exist. It's a mirage. It isn't there. - Exclamation and question marks should be used with extreme caution (many IDIOTS make questions without putting the question mark at the end of a sentence, since all the rest of the IDIOTS should know that it was a question). If you think that putting a question mark or exclamation mark is essencial, don't stop on the first one. Use about nine times more marks than what a normal person would. - Regarding the use of commas, use them sparely, and, just, in cases, where, they shouldn't be, used. - In IDIOT World, the semicolon only exists by accident. It's also common among IDIOTS the use of other idiotic resources of their language, such as writing a message with CAPS LOCK turned on, or putting the same word dozens of times in the same sentence. Again, there are no specific rules to regulate that, except the one that say "the more nonsensical, the better". Step 4 - SMILIES EVERYWHERE! IDIOTS love all kinds of smilies, so use them as much as possible. “But smilies, as the name itself says, are useful for transmiting emotions through the cold means of the Internet, even serving as a tool to intensify the emotional impact intendend by some messages, and that definitely isn't idiotic”, one could wisely point out. Yes, that is correct, but IDIOTS don't seem to know that. Therefore, you'll have to use smiles always in parts of the message where they don't mean anything, and always in stupid amounts. All forums have at least a standard set of smilies ready to use, and IDIOTS like to mix all of them in a way that makes no sense to regular users. However, you should not be limited to use the forum smilies. Idiots also like to create their own symbols: o__o _o/ (o_o// Something absurdly idiotic you could do is stretching them out, so they can use more screen space than necessary: XDDDDDDDDDDDD o________________o \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\o/////////////////////////////// etc. Stretch them beyond the limits of commom sense, preferentially distorting the page, and before you can even realise you'll be in the IDIOTS' Hall of Fame. Step 5 – ASKING FOR ATTENTION All IDIOTS seek attention at a pathological level. They are invariably spoiled and puerile beings that need to be the center of attention like a smoker needs nicotine. This means that every post of yours will be a desperate attempt of grabbing the eyes of normal human beings. Your attitude when posting must be focused on that, and there are some patterns of behavior that guarantee high levels of success: Before anything else, declare your immeasurable desire of making friends. Give all new forum members, on their respective introduction threads, a big WELCOME! Write down the MSN addys and ICQ numbers of everybody (you can tell this is up to date!). Send PM's saying “good morning” and/or “good evening” and/or “Hi, how are you” to everyone that's online when you enter the forum. When you finally get MSN/ICQ/Facebook contacts of a considerable amount of users, apply the technics described below (important: always focus on users of the opposite sex): - Declare bad luck in love This one is very popular. For some unknown reason, IDIOTS believe that looking pathetic and frustrated in love will help them score some points with the opposite sex. Go figure that out . Anyway, regardless of how old you actually are, act like a frustrated teenager that has just received his first "NO", and try to use that to initiate a relationship with someone from the forum, even if you have never seen or spoken to that person before. - Declare your ineptitude at making friends/having luck in love; Can you see that things are getting quite repetitive now? Well, actually, this technic should be used only after you realise the previous one was a total and uter failure. If you cannot make friends/start a relationship on the forum, make it look like you are so desperate that suicide is an option. Step 6 – LAUGHING: ALWAYS OR NEVER Basically, when it come to the matter of laughter, there are 2 types of IDIOTS: the fool-cheerful and the fool-arrogant. Before embarking on the trip to IDIOTSHIRE you must opt for one of these two approaches. Strangely, there aren't many reports of IDIOTS oscillating between these two variations of foolish behaviour. IDIOTS invariably belong to one of these groups, and never move from one group to another. In case you choose to act likethe fool-cheerful type, you must add virtual laughters to every single post you make, except in the ones where you forget about it (remember about the step about typing mistakes - never edit a post). A good solution to that is posting the same thing again, just adding the laughters ina new message. That is so idiotic that all the other IDIOTS will be amazed at how you've progressed and might pick you as their leader! Annoying laughters are recommended. If your arse isn't sore at the end of the day it's because you haven't laughted it off enough times. In case you choose to be a fool-arrogant, you must never demonstrate the slightest sense of humour. Your objective is to become the world's most boring person. Always look grumpy and try to pass along the image of someone with temperament issues. Complain all the time, about everything. And forget about Step 4. Emoticons usually represent happiness, and this kind of IDIOT will always pass the impression he's got the Statue of Liberty stuck up his arse. *There is a third type of IDIOT, that is the only known kind of the species that writes reasonably well, can follow a complete discussion, and even looks slightly intelligent. You must act with extreme caution if you choose to join this very secluded group, because the downside of writing, reading and understanding others is that all the characteristics commomly present in the ordinary IDIOT (arrogancy, selfishness, a bad temper, etc) are raised to the cube. Sincerely, there aren't many reasons to belong to this group of IDOTS, given that they are discriminated by both normal users and other IDIOTS. Step 7 - MODS: HATE THEM OR LOVE THEM Again, there aren't many choices. Idiots always think that moderators: a)are always right OR are always wrong. If you go by the ways of option a), never challenge a moderator or disagree with what he's posted. Accept everything they do without complaining, no matter how stupid their actions look. Praise them and encourage them, and always complain about the "idiots" that follow option . Make suggestions about possible improvements in the forum and report everyone who disrespects the rules (of course, IDIOTS usually disrespect them as well, what makes these complaints a bit hypocritical, but you're an IDIOT, so you don't care). Occasionally an IDIOTS becames a moderator, so keep trying and one day it could be you! In case you pick option , always complain about the mods, no matter how coherently the act. Complain all the time, acuse them of tyranny and favoritism. A recommended behavior is: as soon as a mod interferes with your participation in the forum (deleting a post, locking a thread, or even sending you a warning), hate him above everybody else. From that moment on, 75% of your posts will have the sole objective of defaming that moderator. Acuse them of despotism, make heated protests about how that moderator has no respect for your freedom of speech, etc. Sooner than you think, you'll receive your first temporary ban, a symbol of status among IDIOTS worldwide. Step 8 – NEVER UNDERSTAND, KEEP MAKING QUESTIONS IDIOTS never understand anything thta's said to them. If you want to be taken seriously in the IDIOTS' community, you must look extremely confused the entire time, making pointless questions about everything you interact with. Act like you have never heard of Google, and use the forum as your own private search engine. Do it this way: let's say that, in a thread about movies, an user has posted something about Altman. A true IDIOT wouldn't have a clue who the hell Altman is, and wouldn't use any search engine to find it out. Therefore, the most acceptable reaction from an IDIOT would be to post something like “Who's Altman????? o___O”, in the middle of the conversation. Please note that most IDIOTS never come back to read the answer – they don't care about it, they just want to make questions. The best moment to put that behavior in practice is when the discussion is active, and all the participantes are having a good time. This way the idiotic question becomes the central point of discussion, much to the annoyance of everyone involved, except the IDIOTS. Step 8,5 - NEVER USE THE HELP SECTION This step goes hand in hand with Step 8, and is related to one little, but important, thing. Most forums have a help section where new users have their questions answered by the most experienced forumers. No matter what happens, keep this on your mind: that thing is too ******* complicated and absolutely irrelevant to an IDIOTS. Instead of going to the Help Section, post your questions on the nearest thread, or, even better, open your own questions thread, as long as it is located anywhere but in the Help Section. Step 9 – SPAM, A LOT This was hinted at in all the previous step, but will be discussed in depth in this one, to give our guide a sense of closure (in case someone hasn't realised that spamming is all that an IDIOT does). That's the last thing you need to know before endeavoring into the world of a forum IDIOT: they like to spam. A lot. Therefore, let's put our hands to work! 1- Make a conversation out of an active thread In the event of an naïve user replying to a post of yours, any post, act like that person is a long-time friend , even if you don't know who they are. Ask them the first thing you can think of, and try to transform the discussion into your own private chatroom. Try doing it in an active thread: complete success will be reached once you make everybody quit that thread and restart the discussion elsewhere. 2- Post everywhere Try to post on ALL threads, in all the subsections of the forum. Even when you don't have anything useful to post - what will happen in 99% of the times. Bonus points if you can find an IDIOT friend and challenge him to see who manages to fill an entire page of "New Posts Search" with their name. 3- Start absurd amounts of threads Try to create as many threads as you can, using as little time possible. A good strategy is to keep a constant eye at the list of threads on the home page of the forum and create threads to discuss something that is already being discussed there, just to make a mod come and lock your thread, giving you the chance to apply the techniques described in Step 7. 4- Let everyone know that you're reading their posts Post useless comments about whatever you see on a given thread. Even when you have nothing to add to the debate, it's always a good thing to post the occasional “Oh really?” or an “I agree”. Add laughing smilies to anything that sounds slightly like a joke. And now you can say you are a certified* Forum IDIOT. Certification not included.
  50. -1 points
    Marek

    Help With Deal(s) Thread...

    Riferimento: Re: Riferimento: Re: Help With Deal(s) Thread... Coentrao will stay. He really need to leave Real Madrid. Keep Arbeloa.
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