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He said what ???


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Ran a search engine but couldn't find anything linked to this topic, but change if you can find.

I stumbled across some absolutely stupid quotes from players, managers and commentators.

If you have found any comments please feel free to post them.

Here are a few i found:

'I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right.' - Lee Hendrie

'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.'

- Ian Rush

Interviewer: 'Would it be fair to describe you as a volatile player?'

David Beckham: 'Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side.'

'If you're 0-0 down, there's no-one better to get you back on terms than Ian Wright.' - Robbie Earle

'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today.' - Steve Lomas

'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.' - Barry Venison

'I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.' - David Beckham

'The Brazilians were South America, and the Ukranians will be more European.' - Phil Neville

'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.'

- Mitchell Thomas

'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.' - David Beckham

'The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.'

- Graeme Le Saux

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Stupid Manager Quotes*

'It's understandable and I understand that.' - TERRY VENABLES (that's him over there)

'Certain people are for me, certain people are pro me.' - TERRY VENABLES

'If you can't outplay the opposition, you must outnumber them.' - TERRY VENABLES

'Hoddle hasn't been the Hoddle we know. Neither has Robson.' - RON GREENWOOD

'Well, we got nine and you can't score more than that.' - BOBBY ROBSON

'I do want to play the short ball and I do want to play the long ball. I think long and short balls is what football is all about' - BOBBY ROBSON

'Outside of quality we had other qualities' - BERTIE MEE

'Our first goal was pure textile.' - JOHN LAMBIE

'To be talking about vital games at this stage of the season is ridiculous, really, but tomorrow's game is absolutely vital.' - BRIAN HORTON

'What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio.' - GERRY FRANCIS

'If we played like this every week we wouldn't be so inconsistent.' - BRYAN ROBSON

'If you can't stand the heat in the dressing room, get out of the kitchen ' - TERRY VENABLES

'We keep kicking ourselves in the foot' - RAY WILKINS

'An inch or two either side of the post and it would have been a goal.' - DAVE BASSETT

'In football, if you stand still you go backwards.' - PETER REID

'The lads ran their socks into the ground.' - ALEX FERGUSON

'We threw our dice into the ring and turned up trumps.' - BRUCE RIOCH

'The spirit he has shown has been second to none.' - TERRY VENABLES on Terry Fenwick's drink-driving charge

'To be really happy, we must throw our hearts over the bar and hope that our bodies will follow.' - GRAHAM TAYLOR

'No-one hands you cups on a plate' - TERRY MCDERMOTT

'Nowhere in Europe, especially the world...' - ALEX FERGUSON

'There are two ways of getting the ball. One is from your own team-mates, and that's the only way.' - TERRY VENABLES

'A lot of hard work went into this defeat.' - MALCOLM ALLISON

'It was a game we should have won. We lost it because we thought we were going to win it. But then again, I thought that there was no way we were going to get a result there.' - JACK CHARLTON

'We probably got on better with the likes of Holland, Belgium, Norway and Sweden, some of whom are not even European.' - JACK CHARLTON

'The first 90 minutes are the most important.' - BOBBY ROBSON

'I promise results, not promises.' - JOHN BOND

'Without picking out anyone in particular, I thought Mark Wright was tremendous.' - GRAEME SOUNESS

'It would be a nice scalp for Shorpe to put Wimbledon on our bottoms.' - DAVE BASSETT

'Klinsmann has taken to English football like a duck out of water.' - GERRY FRANCIS

'Playing with wingers is more effective against European sides like Brazil than English sides like Wales.' - RON GREENWOOD

'We rode our luck, but that's what the goalposts are there for.' - JOE KINNEAR

'Even when you're dead, you must never allow yourself just to lie down and be buried.' - GORDON LEE

'We ended up playing football, and that's not our style.' - ALEX MacDONALD

'We got the winner with three minutes left, but then they equalised.' - IAN McNAIL

'Hagi is a brilliant player, but we're not going to get psychedelic over him' - ANDY ROXBURGH

'It's thrown a spanner in the fire.' - BOBBY GOULD

'Maybe not goodbye, but farewell...' - BOBBY ROBSON

'Home advantage gives you an advantage.' - BOBBY ROBSON

'Eighteen months ago they (Sweden) were arguably one of the best three teams in Europe, and that would include Germany, Holland, Russia and anybody else if you like.' - BOBBY ROBSON

'There is great harmonium in the dressing room.' - SIR ALF RAMSEY

'There are 0-0's and 0-0's - and this was 0-0.' - JOHN SILLETT

'...when Flitcroft played for the A team, he had 'footballer' written all over his forehead.' - COLIN BELL

'A lot of hard work went into this defeat.' - MALCOLM ALLISON

'It was a game we should have won. We lost it because we thought we were going to win it. But then again, I thought that there was no way we were going to get a result there.' - JACK CHARLTON

'We probably got on better with the likes of Holland, Belgium, Norway and Sweden, some of whom are not even European.' - JACK CHARLTON

'The first 90 minutes are the most important.' - BOBBY ROBSON

'I promise results, not promises.' - JOHN BOND

'Without picking out anyone in particular, I thought Mark Wright was tremendous.' - GRAEME SOUNESS

'It would be a nice scalp for Shorpe to put Wimbledon on our bottoms.' - DAVE BASSETT

'Klinsmann has taken to English football like a duck out of water.' - GERRY FRANCIS

'Chester made it hard for us by having two players sent off.' - JOHN DOCHERTY

'When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1' - LAWRIE McMENEMY

'I'm definately maybe going to play Sturrock.' -JIM 'not Noel Gallagher' McLEAN

'I can count on the fingers of one hand ten games where we've caused our own downfall.' - JOE KINNEAR

'It would have killed them off a little bit.' - GERRY FRANCIS

'We've watched them twice, and seen a few videos. I didn't see them 38 times though, like McCarthy says he watched us. I don't think that's possible. I did my maths you see. That's 38 times 90 minutes - that's two months and the draw was only three weeks ago!" - GEORGES LEEKENS

'If it had gone in, it would have been a goal.' - JOE ROYLE

'I am often interested in players but I never say so, although I am looking for a striker and a midfield player.' - COLIN TODD

'We are not putting our cape over the tunnel : we are putting our cape in the tunnel.' - HOWARD WILKINSON

'They're not doing as well in the league as they've done.' - ROY HODGSON

'We have faced African teams, we have faced English teams - so we are ready to face Scotland because we know what their play will be like.' - MARIO ZAGALLO

'The way forwards is backwards.' - DAVE SEXTON

'The one thing I didn't expect is the way we didn't play.' - GEORGE GRAHAM

'We just ran out of legs.' - DAVID PLEAT

'I like to think it's a case of crossing the i's and dotting the t's.' - DAVE BASSETT

'He's such an honest person it's untrue.' - BRIAN LITTLE

"When you score one goal more than the other team in a cup tie it is always enough.' - CESARE MALDINI

'What he's got is legs, which the other midfielders don't have.' - LENNIE LAWRENCE

'It's certainly a point not gained.' - COLIN TODD

'My own autobiography, which was written by Ian Ross...' - HOWARD KENDALL

'Hartson's got more previous than Jack the Ripper.' - HARRY REDKNAPP

'The important thing is he shook hands with us over the phone.' - ALAN BALL

'You must be as strong in March, when the fish are down.' - GIANLUCA VIALLI

'We pressed the self-destruct button ourselves' - BRIAN KIDD

'We can beat anyone on our day, so long as we score.' - ALEX TOTTEN

'We had enough chances to win this game. In fact, we did win.' - ALEX SMITH

'I don't blame individuals, I blame myself.' - JOE ROYLE

'I just wonder what would have happened if the shirt had been on the other foot.' - MIKE WALKER

'Some of our players have got no brains, so I've given them the day off tomorrow to rest them.' - DAVID KEMP

'I was feeling as sick as the proverbial donkey.' - MICK MCCARTHY

'The beauty of Cup football is that Jack always has a chance of beating Goliath.' - TERRY BUTCHER

'There's a rat in the camp trying to throw a spanner into the works.' - CHRIS CATTLIN

'I'm the one with his head on the line.' - CHRIS WADDLE

'We must have had 99% of the game. It was the other three per cent that cost us the match.' - RUUD GULLIT

'Of the nine red cards this season we probably deserved half of them.' - ARSENE WENGER

'Winning all the time is not necessarily good for the team.' - JOHN TOSHACK

'Too many players were trying to score or create a goal.' - GERARD HOULLIER

'I've seen them on television on a Sunday morning most days of the week.' - JACK CHARLTON

'You weigh up the pros and cons and try to put them into chronological order.' - DAVE BASSETT

'It was not a mistake, it was a blunder.' - GERARD HOULLIER

'If we'd won, it would have meant an historic double-treble. But we weren't even thinking about that.' - WALTER SMITH

'People always remember the second half.' - GRAHAM TAYLOR

'I strongly feel that the only difference between the two teams were the goals that England scored.' - CRAIG BROWN

'I just felt that the whole night, the conditions and taking everything into consideration and everything being equal, and everything is equal, we should have got something from the game - but we didn't.' - JOHN BARNES

'It wasn't going to be our day on the night.' - BRYAN ROBSON

'We are now entering a new Millennium and football's a completely different cup of tea.' - DAVE BASSETT

'I couldn't really jet off to the States on a whim and a prayer.' - DAVID PLATT

-----

I love these, they tickle me.

Ive got a load from just players aswell - above are managers only. Will post the player ones on another post.

haha.

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Stupid Player Quotes*

The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.' - GRAEME LE SAUX

Interviewer : Which is your favourite commentary team,BBC or ITV?

Graeme Le Saux : Sky.

'He (Steve Walsh) is the type of player who will follow you to every end of the box.' - KERRY DIXON

'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.' - JOHNNY GILES

'Football's not like an electric light - you can't just flick the button and change from slow to quick.' - JOHN GREIG

'I was disappointed to leave Spurs, but quite pleased that I did.' - STEVE PERRYMAN

'I spent four indifferent years at Goodison, but they were great years.' - MARTIN HODGE

'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe that we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.' - PETER SHILTON

'He's one of those managers you'd give your left leg to play for.' - COLIN COOPER

'I'm not convinced that Scotland will play a typically English game.' - GARETH SOUTHGATE

'We didn't think we'd come here tonight and get any sort of result.' - LES SEALEY

'If there wasn't such a thing as football we'd all be frustrated footballers.' - MICK LYONS

'It was a big relief off my shoulder.' - PAUL GASCOIGNE

'Football's not just about scoring goals - it's about winning.' - ALAN SHEARER (over there)

'It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up' - IAN WRIGHT on his team mate's admission of alcoholism

'There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between.' - GARY LINEKER

'I never predict anything, and I never will.' - PAUL GASCOIGNE

'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.' - IAN RUSH

'My name is usually the one on the end of people's lips.' - IAN WRIGHT

'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed' - MITCHELL THOMAS

'All the Leeds team are 100% behind the manager,but I can't speak for the rest of the squad.' - BRIAN GREENHOFF

'My legs sort of disappeared from nowhere.' - CHRIS WADDLE

'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.' - STUART PEARCE

'I can't promise anything, but I promise 100%.' - PAUL POWER

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona' - MARK DRAPER

I may have handed in a transfer request, but there is no way that I want to leave this club.' - DAVID EYRES

'She (Eileen Drewery) gives the players a shoulder to talk to.' - NEIL WEBB

'Our consistency's been all over the place' - ANDY HINCHCLIFFE

'I've lost count of the times I've played in that fixture. Each one was a memorable occasion.' - TREVOR STEVEN

'The boss keeps those things up his sleeve, close to his chest' - CRAIG BURLEY

Rob Shepherd : 'Was there a game last season in which Blackburn's season turned around?'

Kevin Gallagher : 'Yes,when we beat Liverpool 2-0.'

Shepherd : 'And was there something in that game which made you think that the season was about to turn round for you?'

Gallagher : 'Well,we scored three goals.'

'I'm five short [of the Arsenal goalscoring record] - not that I'm counting.' - IAN WRIGHT

'No money in the world can buy a white England shirt.' - ALAN SHEARER

'The manager has given us unbelievable belief.' - PAUL MERSON

'We defended like Trojans.' - MIKE STOWELL

'If you're 0-0 down, there's no-one better to get you back on terms then Ian Wright.' - ROBBIE EARLE

'You don't need balls to play in a cup final.' - STEVE CLARIDGE

'Once you've had a bull terrier, you never want another dog. I've got six bull terriers, a rottweiler and a bulldog.' - JULIAN DICKS

'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.' - BARRY VENISON

'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.' - IAN WRIGHT

'If it's not a contract I want then I won't sign it. That's not a threat.' - ROY KEANE

'I can't even remember when the Seventies was.' - ROBBIE KEANE

'If, since the start, I'd played well and put in some good matches it would all have been too simple.' - NICOLAS ANELKA

'It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked.' - RICHARD RUFUS

'The left foot has helped - it's always been there, but I haven't always had the chance to use it.' - STIG INGE BJORNEBEYE

Credit card application form question : 'What is your position at the company?'

Jason McAteer's (self-confirmed) response : 'Right back.'

'I was born in Newcastle and I've played for Newcastle Schoolboys all my life.' - DENNIS TUEART

'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.' - ALAN SHEARER

'I dreamt of playing for a club like Manchester United, and now here I am at Liverpool.' - SANDER WESTERVELD

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From the BBC :P

Quotes of the Week

Angel Cabrera

He's big, but it's not clever

"Some players have psychologists, some have sportologists - I smoke."

US Open winner Angel Cabrera.

"If you want to win, you have to pay up to £100,000 a week to a player who can hardly read or write and he earns four or five million pounds. It's crazy."

Fulham chairman Mohamed Al Fayed tells it like it is.

"I was a bit ripe by the end of it and a few flies were gathering around me. People left me alone for a while."

Golfer Chris Gane on being forced to practise in sweltering heat with waterproof trousers over his jeans after his suitcase failed to turn up ahead of the Austrian Open.

"I had 15 messages after the game. The best one was from my mum which said 'Come outside and get some sweets'!"

England under-21 star Nedum Onouha reveals how his mum helped him get over the racist abuse from Serbian fans during their group match.

"Will I try any harder to get things right? I could try harder and, to be honest, maybe I'm trying too hard."

Steve Harmison's bowling can be very trying.

"He knows I don't like heavy metal but he's friends with one of the guys in Metallica and they are at Wembley on the Sunday night in three weeks' time."

Andy Murray on coach Brad Gilbert's plans for the Scot if he wins Wimbledon.

Bear

He's behind you!

"I have to admit there was almost a need for a change of underwear."

European Tour chief referee John Parmor on the moment when a state trooper growled in his ear minutes after Parmor had spotted a bear as Lee Westwood played the seventh at the US Open.

"I thought 'I'm going to be on Question of Sport with them asking me what happened next...answer: He was eaten by a bear'!"

Westwood sees the funny side.

"I have won this four times now, and you have won only three. I had to get that in, because it is not very often that I can say it at a tournament, and I don't know whether I will be able to say it again."

Andy Roddick gets one over coach Jimmy Connors following his fourth Queen's triumph.

"Would you phone the president of Ghana?"

Jose Mourinho when asked by a Ghanaian journalist if he ever phoned Roman Abramovich to see how he was.

"I'm well up for a laugh and toyed with the idea of riding a donkey into the ring but I'm allergic to them. Can you imagine how embarrassing that would have been on the night? I'd have had a swollen face before taking a hit!"

Ricky Hatton on his plans to get Mexican-ed up for his fight with Luis Castillo in Las Vegas.

"It's sod's law, isn't it?"

Newcastle boss Sam Allardyce on being handed an opening day Premier League fixture at former club Bolton.

"It has gone absolutely nuts."

Silverstone spokesman on the demand for tickets to the British Grand Prix in the wake of Lewis Hamilton's win.

"It's just insane."

Hamilton after securing back-to-back wins with victory in the US Grand Prix.

Andrew Flintoff

Freddie knows a thing or two about the demon drink

"Michael has become England's greatest-ever captain with his amount of wins and if you can't go out and celebrate that, what can you do?"

Freddie Flintoff keeps a straight face to support Michael Vaughan after the England skipper is pictured looking the worse for wear.

"We have a plan. It involves us spending but it will be part of a plan, not just spending like a drunken sailor."

Liverpool co-owner George Gillett outlines his spending policy.

"It was just a friendly tap on his beer belly."

Snooker star Alex Higgins upon being accused of punching referee Terry Riley during an exhibition match.

AND SOME FROM YOU

"She came along and cleaned up my dumplings."

"Did she indeed?!"

Sir Viv Richards telling Jonathan Agnew about a woman sampling his cooking. There was silence for a second before the TMS box erupted into laughter for five minutes. (Tony Howe, UK).

"Boro are one of the big clubs in England and we have the chance to challenge the top four and play in Europe every year."

Yakubu, throwing his hat in for a dope test. (Xerxes, India).

"Now I'm an old head with a lot of experience, I think I can close my eyes and 'wang' it in roughly the right spot!"

Matthew Hoggard's technical analysis of his bowling. (Daniel Ford, England).

"Although he is very young, he has two years of experience in the Premier League."

Fenerbahce deputy chairman Neset Yalcin on Colin Kazim-Richards. Someone has been pulling a fast one - he only played in the Prem for one season (with limited appearances). (Dan Johns, Brecon, Wales).

"We needed a shot in the arm and he gave it to us."

San Fransisco Giants manager Bruce Bochy with a poor choice of words to describe the 747th career home run of Barry Bonds, who was linked to alleged steroid use. (Sandy, England).

Boris Johnson and London 2012 loogo

You never see them in the same room

"You can say what you like about my hairstyle, but it's never caused epilepsy and cost significantly less than £400,000 to design."

Boris Johnson on claims that the London 2012 Olympic logo looked like his hairdo. (Phil, England).

"I think there is less pressure on me because I am the only one that won it last year."

Geoff Ogilvy stating the obvious when asked about the pressure that comes with being the defending US Open champion. (Kane Rennie, Australia).

"Now Henman needs to put this bed to set. I mean set to bed. I'm losing it here."

Andrew Castle commentating at Queen's Club. (Andy Croft, England).

"Ten minutes ago it seemed like Mission Impossible."

Sky commentator when Real Madrid went 2-1 up after being 1-0 down against Mallorca. The camera was on Tom Cruise in the stands at the time. (Shy, India).

"He's a good driver in and out of the car."

Ron Dennis on Lewis Hamilton. What does he drive out of the car? (Robbie, UK).

"Well there was certainly a crack in the Australian defence."

Aussie commentator after a South African player had his pants pulled down by an Aussie defender. (Fershad, Australia).

"Nine times out of 10 you bat first, and the other time you still bat first."

Alastair Cook on Michael Vaughan choosing to bat first. (JM, England).

"He prefers bowling to the right-handed right-handers."

Michael Atherton on Steve Harmison. (Toby, England).

Mel Smith in darts sketch on Not The Nine O'Clock News

And he's going for a treble

"That's 11 trebles on the trot. If you count the double 12 as a treble."

Rod Harrington getting carried away while watching Phil Taylor after he hit a 9-dart finish. (Tony Baitson).

"The crowd play a massive part here, it's like having a 13th man in football."

Colin Osborne after making it through to the quarter finals of the darts UK Open. (Matthew Harding, England).

''Albert van den Berg bending over backwards like a giraffe at the watering hole.''

Commentator Craig Marais in the South Africa v Samoa Test. He's surely the only one to ever see a giraffe bend over backwards. (Deano, South Africa).

"Bell on strike. Ding!"

Cricinfo commentary during Ian Bell's first innings 97 at Old Trafford. (Scott Craze, England).

NOT THE CHANT OF THE WEEK

"...and the supporters are all singing 'One Adrian Morley'."

Ray French commentating on the St Helens v Warrington Challenge Cup quarter-final). "What a waste of money" is what the Saints fans were actually singing! (Gary Meyler, Belvedere, Kent).

BANNER OF THE WEEK

"Thanks you Beckham."

Real Madrid fans salute their departing hero.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nice ones you got there Raz (well, excluding the doubles...) however you've used (can't say wasted - very funny) 20 mins of my life :P

PS: Oops, these aren't all football ones:o

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Re: He said what ???

General stupid quotes really...

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

-- Mariah Carey

Question: "If you could live forever, would you and why?"

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest

"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."

--Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."

-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."

-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."

-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe."

-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia

"After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post."

-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island

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Re: He said what ???

General stupid quotes...

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

-- Mariah Carey

Question: "If you could live forever, would you and why?"

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest

"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."

--Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."

-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."

-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."

-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe."

-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia

"After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post."

-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island

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Re: He said what ???

"Would you phone the president of Ghana?"

Jose Mourinho when asked by a Ghanaian journalist if he ever phoned Roman Abramovich to see how he was.

"It's sod's law, isn't it?"

Newcastle boss Sam Allardyce on being handed an opening day Premier League fixture at former club Bolton.

"We have a plan. It involves us spending but it will be part of a plan, not just spending like a drunken sailor."

Liverpool co-owner George Gillett outlines his spending policy.

EDIT: Bobo stole my quotes

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  • 4 weeks later...

Re: He said what ???

Thought i would revamp this thread, sort of like Bobo's rumour thread, can post the best and worst quotes each week made by sportsstars, and sports linked stars.

"I felt the rear end go down, selected first gear and thought I saw the lolly move."

Lewis Hamilton on jumping the gun during a pit stop at Silverstone. At least we think that's what he was talking about.

"Don't ever call me a bottler on the radio with thousands of people listening."

Jamie Carragher rings in to Talksport Radio to tear a few strips off stunned presenter Adrian Durham, who suggested the Liverpool star did not have the stomach to fight for his England place.

"I hope she will play with me again."

Murray is keen to get together with Jelena again - on the tennis court, that is.

"It doesn't matter if he has to go out there on one leg."

West Indies captain Chris Gayle on the importance of injured Shivnarine Chanderpaul in the NatWest Series decider against England.

"A win's a win, unless it is not a win, and then it's not a win."

Venus Williams gives Sue Barker a lesson in advanced truism after her Wimbledon final win.

"I lament the score. I'm sorry for Colombia and for my country... we dominated the game."

Colombia coach Jorge Luis Pinto after his side 'dominated' in the 5-0 hammering by Paraguay.

"When you travel away to Europe you are there almost 24 hours a day."

Davie Hay on Setanta Sports before Celtic's friendly against Basel on Wednesday night.

"Nadal's girlfriend is clinging on to her stress ball for dear life. What I would give to be that stress ball."

BBC Sport Wimbledon coverage.

"Anywhere else on the pitch, that's a penalty."

Sky Sports pundit on the controversial penalty given to Brazil in their 3-0 win over Chile.

"Jimmy, I've not seen bigger. That's massive."

Nasser Hussain to Jimmy Adams at Twenty20 international. Obviously talking about the big six that Marlon Samuels hit.

* Courtesy of BBC *

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Re: He said what ???

"it was a little bit the head of maradona and a little bit the hand of god"

maradona

"i dont think anyone is bigger or smaller than maradona"

kavin keegan being both stupi-d and cleaver at the same breath

"michael owen isnt the tallest if lads but his height more than makes up for that"

ex-liverpool manager mark lawrenson just managing the dumb part

"i was alone up front with danny murphy playing between me myself and the midfield"

michael owen seeing double

"if pele hadnt been born a man hed have been born a ball"

armando nogueir confused journalist

"beckham has two feet which a lot of players dont have nowadays"

short sighted pundit jimmy hill

"my parents have always been there for me ever since i was about seven"

david beckham forgetting the first six years of his life

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"After the family the most important thing is the foot... is the soccer."

Old habits die hard for LA Galaxy new boy David Beckham.

"It's meant to be low key."

An LA Galaxy spokesman on the arrival of arguably the most famous footballer in the world.

"It is nice to be recognised for actually achieving something in life as opposed to spending seven weeks in a house on TV with a load of other muppets."

Wiggins has a pop at Big Brother after finishing fourth in the Tour de France prologue.

"The fans, everyone, needs to just chill out and relax and let me do the job."

Sunderland manager Roy Keane - always the epitome of calm in his playing career - asks for fans to be patient as he plans his summer signings.

"I have a young family, and I also have a farm to manage." Julian White gives his reasons for not being available for England's Rugby World Cup defence.

"I'd love someone to take me out in one, one day".

David Beckham on his desire to be driven round in an F1 car. Who's going to tell him they're single-seaters?

"I've been a bit of a useless up to now."

Paul Collingwood commenting on Radio Five Live after winning the toss against the West Indies in the one-day series.

"They say money talks. This is obviously untrue, because if money were capable of speech we'd hear it shrieking 'How much? You must be joking'."

Des Kelly writing in the Daily Mail about the absurdity of Darren Bent's recent £16.5m move to Spurs.

"He needs more balls under his belt."

Chris Gayle commenting on the need to have Chanderpaul in the one-day team.

"Looks like even the coach driver's going to get one."

TV commentator on the number of people getting medals at the Copa America final.

"In the last four holes, Mickelson hit bogey, birdie, birdie, birdie, bogey."

BBC Five Live Golf summariser ahead of the play-off at the Scottish Open.

"He is like the ideal father-in-law. He told me that I would be challenging with six other players for four positions."

Ryan Babel commenting on Rafa Benitez. Is the Liverpool manager lining up potential husbands for his four daughters?!

"He did his cycling with his legs today."

Cycling commentator Phil Leggat about Tour de France leader Michael Rasmussen.

"Despite the global warming, England is still not warm enough for him."

Arsene Wenger on the reasons it is likely Jose Reyes will leave Arsenal for sunny Spain.

"It's better to win than to lose."

Sven-Goran Eriksson announces his return by stating the obvious after Man City's friendly win at Doncaster.

"We're confident in ourselves that we can get a good run together and get the wins that we need and hopefully qualify for the World Cup."

Ashley Cole speaking to ESPN Press Pass in LA. Which competition are England trying to qualify for at the moment?

"He is on for a podium finish or maybe even better."

James Allen (ITV) talking about Lewis Hamilton's race chances.

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Re: He said what ???

"There were some jelly beans on the crease while I was batting so I moved one off the wicket. When I played the next ball there were again some jelly beans on the wicket so obviously someone was chucking them, which I didn't like. I felt it was insulting."

India's Zaheer Khan reveals the start of 'jelly bean-gate' at Trent Bridge before exacting sweet revenge with a five-wicket haul against England.

"Zaheer wasn't too pleased. I think he prefers blue jelly beans to the pink ones."

Inspector Collingwood puts forward his theory.

"If you stuck a seven-foot wall in front of me, I'd believe I could get through it."

Colin Lynes believes he's the Incredible Hulk after out-boxing Young Mutley to win the vacant European light welterweight title.

"The Kop will be the symphony stage playing to the symphony hall."

Liverpool co-owner Tom Hicks after the club announce plans for an 18,000-seater Kop in their new stadium.

"What a few fans are trying to do is cause trouble. They wouldn't give a s*** if (Vladimir) Putin bought the club as long as it was successful."

Leeds chairman Ken Bates is his usual humble self after being criticised by some supporters.

"I like to think Lee Bowyer will be a player to watch out for next season."

Lee Bowyer could do the business for West Ham, according to... Lee Bowyer.

"It was more like common assault than anything you expect to see on a football field."

Newcastle boss Sam Allardyce is less than impressed with Juventus keeper Gianluigi Buffon's X-rated challenge on teenage striker Andy Carroll during their 'friendly' game.

"Buffon is a gentleman thinking only of the ball."

Juve manager Claudio Raniero takes a slightly different view of the incident.

"We are protecting our asset. There's a big value in Kieron Dyer... so I am protecting the asset... it was my decision to protect that asset and not risk him today because he is a valuable asset for Newcastle United."

Anyone think Sam Allardyce believes Kieron Dyer is an asset?

"It's got to be done yesterday as opposed to tomorrow."

Nigel Worthington trying to defy the laws of time when talking about building a new national stadium in Northern Ireland.

"Neither of these players are the best at counting, anyway, Priestley wants 69 so he'll probably go triple 19 to leave 22."

One of the commentators on the Priestley-Wade darts match at Blackpool.

"It is definitely the hardest pre-season I have ever done but they mix it up so you do feel stiff but the balls have been out since day one which is always good."

Quote from new signing Leon Best on Coventry City's website.

"It's got lots of windows."

Rafa Benitez's incisive comment on the new Liverpool stadium.

"There is a 90% chance that Freddie will still be at the club next season."

Arsene Wenger just before Freddie Ljungberg moved to West Ham.

"Our batsmen have to get the runs so that our bowlers can get the 20 wickets."

India captain Rahul Dravid hopes his players are hot to trot.

"There was a hitch in the DJ Campbell deal which had to be clarified. I asked if I could speak to Mr Steve Bruce. The man who picked up the phone said he was training and I replied in my Scottish accent that it was Sir Alex Ferguson on the phone. Mr Bruce came to the phone and said 'Good Morning Alex' and I replied 'Good Morning Steve, it's Martin Allen'. He laughed and laughed and laughed; he called me a few names, I got the answer out of him that I wanted and we got the deal completed."

Leicester boss Martin Allen makes a good impression on Steve Bruce.

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Re: He said what ???

"I'm about as fast as me Nana!"

New Cardiff striker Robbie Fowler admits his boots are meant for walking these days.

"I squealed at the first one and he stopped and then he did it again. It hurt for about five minutes. Hopefully it won't happen again because it wasn't the most pleasant experience. Fortunately I'm all intact now."

Bradford Bulls prop Sam Burgess on the delight of having his testicles squeezed by Leon Pryce of St Helens in a Challenge Cup match.

"I don't normally speak to anyone over 30, never mind sign them."

Bristol City boss Gary Johnson on the capture of 30-year-old striker Lee Trundle from Swansea.

"Unfortunately the photographers get me eating at places I shouldn't be because I'm a sportsman."

David Beckham wishes he hadn't visited that hamburger joint.

"Go ******* swivel!"

What mild-mannered Lewis Hamilton allegedly said to McClaren boss Ron Dennis in a heated radio exchange about disobeying team orders.

"You can play chess for about 10 hours and still lose, know what I mean?"

Sir Alex Ferguson has a thinly-veiled pop at Chelsea's cautious style of play ahead of the Community Shield.

"Strong words were said and he was told in no uncertain terms that if he didn't like it, he should clear off."

Birmingham boss Steve Bruce gets tough with Hossam Ghaly after the potential transfer target appeared unhappy with training methods at St Andrews.

"A lot of fans refer to him by his anagram - 'Colin W*****' - and when he comes out with rubbish like this it's easy to see why. Perhaps when you spend so much time rehearsing to get picked for the next series of Strictly Come Dancing it affects your memory."

Actor Sean Bean hits back at claims in Neil Warnock's autobiography that he swore in front of the former Sheffield United manager's young son.

"I struggled the first few days with breakfast. Instead of a croissant and cappuccino, I was faced with eggs."

Manchester City new boy Rolando Bianchi on English cuisine. Just wait till he's presented with black pudding...

"I know that Spurs are a team who like to play offensive football."

Recent Tottenham arrival Kevin Prince-Boateng has obviously heard some frightening reports about his new club.

"Kick them as near the half-way line as you possibly can!"

Hearts goalkeeper Craig Gordon comes up with a cunning plan for his team-mates to stop Barcelona in their pre-season friendly.

"'And Ryan Giggs finally scores at this stadium."

Commentator after Giggs opened the scoring in the Community Shield. Give him a chance, he's only played there twice!!

Five Live commentator: "How will Tevez fit into the Manchester United team, Mark?"

Mark Lawrenson: "Up front with Rooney I'm guessing."

Mark Lawrenson at his usual sarcastic best after the Community Shield.

"Mikel just followed through."

Martin Tyler commentating on a late challenge in the Community Shield - I think.

"Well I couldn't understand that, it wasn't in Brazilian was it?"

ITV commentator on listening to Barrichello's radio. Probably not, no - mainly because they speak Portuguese in Brazil.

"He is a good, good, good, great goalscorer."

Matthieu Flamini runs out of superlatives for Thierry Henry when asked how much the Gunners will miss him.

"The horses race over 1400m, which is 3/4 of a mile, which is less than a mile."

Cornelius Lysaght at Goodwood on Tuesday.

"And then Carlos Tevez, football's equivalent of a murderer out on bail, scores the goal that kept West Ham up and put us down."

Neil Warnock, not bitter at all, writes in his book "Made in Sheffield" (as reported in the Guardian).

"He has South American qualities because he comes from South America."

Jose Mourinho talking about new signing Claudio Pizarro.

"Gavin McCann will add stability to an already stable midfield."

Sammy Lee on Five Live. Sounds like exciting times at Bolton.

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Quotes for week 15/08/07:

"I told her I had a match but she wasn't having any of it."

Sir Alex Ferguson reveals who really owns the hair-dryer in his household after wife Cathy told him he would be missing a friendly to help her move house.

"I am a Championship manager but you mustn't treat it like the actual computer game, 'Championship Manager'."

Bristol City boss Gary Johnson after the 2-2 draw with QPR in, you guessed it, the Championship.

"If I was to declare an interest in this job the Tartan Army would string me up."

Scotland boss Alex McLeish on why he won't be vacating his job any time soon, despite a recent approach from a Premier League club.

"You don't like Batesy and you don't particularly like me, but at the end of the day... you've got us."

Dennis Wise tells Leeds fans how it is.

"I will probably get a lot of sticks again this season."

Manchester City boss Sven-Goran Eriksson twigs what's going on.

"Jens changed his mind but wasn't quick enough to respond to his brain."

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger on the howler by keeper Jens Lehmann that allowed David Healy to fire Fulham in front at the Emirates.

"I was excited and it takes a lot to get me excited... ask my wife!"

Roy Keane is so excited - and he just can't hide it after Sunderland's opening day win over Spurs.

"All the manager said was 'Well done and I will see you at 10am for training'."

Goal hero Michael Chopra confirms Roy's elated state of mind.

"Don't turn your back on the wall. Get hit in the b*******, get hit in the nose, get hit in the gob, knock your f****** crowns out. I'm not bothered what you do but do not take it on the a*** and let it spin into the top corner of the goal, which is what happened."Wolves manager Mick McCarthy takes Watford's late free kick equaliser well. And don't get him started on their last-minute winner.

"What was wrong with us? Apart from the fact that we couldn't defend properly and we couldn't attack properly..."Watford boss Aidy Boothroyd was delighted to come away from Molineux with three points.

"He's a crafty old devil."

Sam Allardyce after Sir Alex Ferguson tipped Newcastle to finish in the top four this season.

"I was made to stand on a chair and sing Lulu's 'Shout' to the lads as part of the initiation... it was only after I'd finished - and they'd stopped laughing - that I found out I was the only new player to do it."

Bristol City new boy Lee Trundle is singing from a different hymn sheet to the rest of his team-mates.

Chick Young: "Lee, has that yellow card had been rescinded?"

Lee Wallace: "No, it's been taken away."

Chick Young's post-match interview with Lee Wallace after the Aberdeen-Hearts game.

"Liverpool are moving forward with all the menace of a Great White off the Cornish Coast."

Steve Wilson commentating on Liverpool attacking against Aston Villa.

"Both sides' supporters are singing the same chant - 'There's only one Keano' - which makes them both wrong, to be honest."

Match of the Day commentator during Sunderland-Spurs.

"Diop should watch out, he could get a second booking for time-wasting after that shot."

Setanta commentator after Papa Bouba Diop's shot goes miles wide against Arsenal.

"It was one of them 90-minute games."

Matt Oakley after his first game in the Premier League for Derby.

"That's a prime example of a player putting their team before their family!"

MOTD commentator when Villa's Craig Gardner saved a Liverpool shot with his wedding tackle.

"Danny Brown is on thin ice now, and on a hot day that's not where you want to be."

BBC Radio Cambridgeshire commentator Mark Johnson during Cambridge United's 2-1 win at York.

"If you're going to get in behind Rio Ferdinand you've got to show him what you've got and then go in hard."

Jamie Redknapp summarising Florent Malouda's goal in the Community Shield.

"Someone should be hung. Whoever is responsible should be hung and shot at dawn in the morning. I'll do the shooting."

Craig Johnston on Sky Sports talking about the problem with football's youth development in England.

"What, you mean in the Tottenham reserves?"

Steve Bruce's reply to Hossam Ghaly when Ghaly told him they didn't do running at Tottenham during training.

"Look's like Piniella's trying his hardest to get Wood."

ESPN commentator Jon Miller as the Chicago Cubs manager recalls Kerry Wood after a lengthy injury lay-off.

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Re: He said what ???

"I think I have a naive team. They are naive because they are pure and they are clean. We don't have divers, we don't have violent people."

Jose Mourinho on his clean-living Chelsea boys, following their dodgy penalty against Liverpool.

"If Chelsea are naive and pure then I'm Little Red Riding Hood."

Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez disagrees.

"Sadly, I have been unable to persuade Fifa, Uefa, and the Premier League to allow me to use 12 players in every game!"

Benitez defends his rotation policy.

"The Premier League is our meat and potatoes and Europe is our dessert."

Blackburn captain Ryan Nelsen thinks playing in the Uefa Cup is sweet.

"These so-called big stars are people we are supposed to be looking up to. Well they are weak and soft. If they don't want to come because their wife wants to go shopping in London, it's a sad state of affairs."

Sunderland boss Roy Keane says what he thinks - just for a change.

"I've got four women in my house - my wife and my three daughters - and I tell you what, it's pretty scary. I keep my head down and if we're out shopping I try and look in a man's shop while they make their minds up."

Ian Holloway gives his verdict on who wears the trousers.

"I like changing my hairstyle, much to my mother's annoyance. It depends on my state of mind."

Fernando Torres should be playing for Barnet.

"I tried but every time I worked out I threw up and I thought to myself that you can get drunk and throw up, so it's just not for me. I'd rather smoke, drink Diet Cokes and eat."

John Daly opts to continues with his fatness regime after Tiger Woods claimed his rivals were not fit enough to challenge him.

"We are like the primary school boys walking into the secondary school for the first time and finding out who the bully boys are."

Derby boss Billy Davies adjusts to life in the Premier League.

"We're playing a different way this year - a different football, a different smell."

Mourinho hopes to come up smelling of roses again.

"I love the big man, absolutely brilliant. Some of the films were a bit dodgy. That one where he was diving off a cliff, climbed back up to the top, his hair was immaculate and he wasn't even wet... and for me that's why he's the King.

Ian Holloway's Elvis tribute in his BBC column.

"It's a big four minutes for Chris Hutchings. He's five minutes away from his first win."

Andy Gray on the Wigan manager.

"It's rugby by numbers - A,B,C."

Dewi Morris talking about England after the match against France.

"How old is he, 36, 37? Still a top footballer, isn't he?"

Jamie Redknapp on Kanu, who's just turned 31.

"And the e-mail address to send in to is Soccer AM... I mean Soccer USA."

Tim Lovejoy forgets who he works for.

"I bet that was one of those times for Hleb when he wishes he had one of those Inspector Gadget extendable legs which he could use by pressing a button on his hip and it would bring the ball down enabling him to score... unfortunately he doesn't."

BBC London commentator on Arsenal's Alexander Hleb.

"If Sven keeps on like this he'll be the next England manager!"

Gary Lineker on MOTD after Man City went top.

"Everyone deserves a trial. Even Saddam Hussein got a trial. One question I have is what was I sacked for? A former manager commented on some of these people, referring to mushrooms. But he was being very unfair to mushrooms. They grow on their own and they can stand on their own. The people involved here can't."

Ex-Clare hurling manager Tony Considine hits out after being sacked by the board without even being informed of their decision!

"We couldn't have been drawn against a higher-placed team, as they are second to Everton currently."

Gary Johnson's brilliant analysis of the league table after drawing Man City in the Carling Cup.

"Drogba will finish top scorer by a long stretch and Tevez won't be too far behind."

'Thevoiceofsport' on 606 forum.

"Man Utd are completely outclassing Portsmouth, and I don't see them having any problem winning this one..." (five second pause) "... one-all".

Paul Merson giving his opinion on how the Pompey-Man U game was going.

"He is different from our other strikers... he can score goals."

Rafael Benitez on Andrei Voronin.

"Don't hoover up while Chelsea are playing because if you knock the telly, Robben will fall over."

Former Dutch international Ruud Gullit quotes chaos theory scientists to give his verdict on Chelsea!

"Anton Ferdinand on Championship Manager."

Bobby Zamora in West Ham's matchday programme when asked the worst thing he has ever bought.

"Not many teams score two goals at Chelsea in the first half, let alone 90 minutes."

Alan Shearer on MOTD2.

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29/08/07

"If my missus went to Spain and I saw pictures of her I would be gutted but I'd always realise she would come back. She speaks French, Dutch, English, but not Spanish, so she couldn't talk to the b****r. So she would come back to me."

Martin Jol's cryptic message after Tottenham officials allegedly flew out to Spain for a meeting with representatives of Sevilla coach Juande Ramos.

"There's a fine line between loyalty and stupidity and, no doubt, I've been stupid. It won't happen again."

Roy Keane has a pop at himself after Sunderland's 3-0 defeat at Wigan.

"It's disappointing to be dropped from any team - even my mates' fantasy league team!''

West Ham goalkeeper Robert Green on his England squad omission.

"I feel like **** Turpin after getting away with a highway robbery."

Wolves manager Mick McCarthy after seeing his side stand and deliver against Blackpool, despite being "rubbish".

"I had 18 players at Brentford and 20 at MK Dons, but when you see all the players run out at training here it's like a scene from Zulu!"

Martin Allen compares the size of his Leicester squad to the Michael Caine epic...not a lot of people knew that.

"I don't remember Mansell's incident - I was only one!"

Lewis Hamilton after journalists likened his puncture in Istanbul to Nigel Mansell's blow-out in 1986, which cost him the world title.

"Tim's probably thinking 'every time I show up for a Grand Slam I play this clown'."

Dmitry Tursonov ahead of his first round clash with Tim Henman at the US Open - the Briton's last Grand Slam event. Tursonov has already beaten him in three previous slams.

"As soon as we won the penalty, my mind flashed back to 1999 when it was Bergkamp versus Schmeichel. Now it was another Dutchman against his son. I was hoping history would not repeat itself, but it did. I just hope I don't come up against his grandson."

Arsene Wenger after seeing Kasper Schemichel save Robin van Persie's penalty, eight years after the old man denied Dennis Bergkamp in the FA Cup semi-final replay.

"I've come to Middlesbrough for the shopping."

New signing Mido responding to Roy Keane's comments on WAGs.

"That was two-thirds of the way towards being a half-decent jump."

Jonathan Edwards confusing everyone with maths during the athletics World Championships.

"Don't make me laugh!"

Honda F1 driver Rubens Barrichello to his mechanic who had (accurately) claimed team-mate Jenson Button was two seconds per lap faster than him.

"I know, I look like Amy Winehouse!"

Shrewsbury player Dave Hibbert after supporters commented on his black eye.

"Nothing bread and butter about it, it was covered in jam."

Sky Sports commentator after Nani's strike against Spurs.

"Mark Viduka brings the ball down on his thing, twists round his old team-mate and slams the volley home."

Charlie Henderson's live football commentary

"I like the track, I like the place, the country, the city and especially the track."

Ferrari driver Felipe Massa on Istanbul. Reckon he likes the track?

''I am a man of few words but I always speak my mind."

Gabriel Heinze upon being unveiled at the Bernabeu. Can he ever make his mind up?

"I'd like to think we could beat them but then again, we do tend to struggle against teams in the bottom half."

Man City fan on last Saturday's Football Focus talking about the Manchester derby. How long was he waiting to use that one?!

"Sheffield United beat the f*** out of West Brom today. Go Blades! I'm just caught up in the Blades fever!"

Red Hot Chilli Peppers' Flea, pledges his allegiance to the Blades on stage at Reading Festival.

"I want to ask the Premier League why it was so difficult for Liverpool to sign Javier Mascherano, but so easy for Carlos Tevez to join Man Utd?"

Rafa Benitez. Errrr, is that the Tevez transfer that took all summer?

"You know it's your day when you dive two-handed and stick your other hand out to take the catch."

Alistair 'three hands' Cook on his brilliant catch at the Rose Bowl.

"We are not Superman."

Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez. That's cleared that up, then.

"You've got to lose to win."

Roy Keane after Sunderland lost 3-0 to Wigan.

"Manchester United have a free kick on the edge of the corner box."

Paul Merson on Soccer Saturday. Legend.

"I heard a snap, I heard a snap!"

Shouted by MK Dons full back Gareth Edds whilst rolling around in agony. It took a word from another player informing him that it was his shinpad that broke to get the hardman back to his feet.

''Sometime in the season we will have unluck, as you say.''

Sven Goran-Eriksson after the Manchester derby.

"We're in second place. We're in pole position."

David Healy talks up Northern Ireland's chances of Euro 2008 qualification.

"The reason for my beard is that over the summer I lost my razor."

Rafa Benitez extinguishing any superstition-related reasons for his new-look appearance.

"I will make Birmingham the biggest club in the world!"

Carson Yeung on the impact he intends to make if he becomes Birmingham chairman.

"Santa Cruz did very well there to get in between the defenders and get offside."

Kevin Gallacher commentating on Blackburn Rovers v MyPa Habib on Channel 5.

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"I have to admit it comes as a bit of a surprise."

Emile Heskey echoes the thoughts of many England fans as he celebrates being called up to the squad for the first time since Euro 2004.

"He's had a few headlines this week. Some welcome, some unwelcome"

Villa boss Martin O'Neill sums up Zat Knight's week perfectly after the defender signed for his boyhood favourites, got banged up in a cell for a night and then scored against Chelsea on his debut.

"It's a bit like a marriage. You want to do things in life but if you don't have anyone to share it with then it's just not as fulfilling."

Gareth Southgate takes an original line in trying to lure the crowds back to the Riverside Stadium.

"It was so hot out there, if I had been able to run naked I would have. Unfortunately I could not because I knew my 10-year-old daughter would be watching."

New marathon world champion, 35-year-old Catherine Ndereba after winning gold in the heat of Osaka.

"That was like one of those James Bond films where the villain has so many chances to kill him off, doesn't take them and eventually he comes back to bite them."

Fulham boss Lawrie Sanchez after seeing his side take a battering from Spurs before coming back to draw 3-3.

"There was an unprecedented opportunity to see silverware at St James's Park....as Durham paraded the Friends Provident Trophy!"

Gary Lineker ahead of the Newcastle game on Match of the Day.

"And that's a lifetime best. It must be one of the best runs of her life."

Paul Dickinson on the BBC at the Athletics World Championships.

"They looked like a team that came here to lose."

Ray Houghton on RTE commentating on the Liverpool v Toulouse game.

"I think Peter Schmeichel will be a father-figure for Kasper."

Jamie Redknapp (with quite possibly the best quote so far this season).

"They haven't got that player around the box with a bit of guile, that can open a can of worms."

Another Paul Merson classic.... everyone wants to open a can of worms eh, Paul?

"We showed today what a good team we are...in a footballing sense."

Some coleman's balls from Blackburn manager Mark Hughes.

"We should have killed them and buried them."

Billy Davies going a bit over the top with his post match comments.

"He wasn't born, he was chiselled out of an oak tree."

Classic comment by Alan Green on Five Live about Spurs' Tom Huddlestone during the Man Utd v Spurs game on Sunday.

"The best goalkeepers make the saves."

Mark Lawrenson stating the obvious once again!!

"Celtic fans are booing Mozart as he goes to take this corner, but that will be music to his ears".

BBC1 Scotland commentator during the Spartak Moscow v Celtic game.

"Watching Stoke reminds me of a teenagers bedroom: untidy, not particularly nice on the eye but serves a purpose."

BBC Radio commentator reporting on the Stoke v Wolves match on Saturday.

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"It was a sense of numbness really - how the **** are we out of this World Cup? It even got to the point where there were weird ideas - maybe if we'd had brown rice rather than white."

Rio Ferdinand reflects on England's 2006 World Cup exit.

"As a player, he was a ranter and a raver. But I think he's taken it back a bit. He's just a ranter now."

Sunderland's Paul McShane on manager Roy Keane, who no longer throws shapes to loud dance music in a smiley-miley t-shirt, apparently.

"Even my sister asked me whether I'd left."

Derby striker Robert Earnshaw on the speculation linking him with a move, a few weeks after signing for the Rams.

"Beckham thought that a celebrity lifestyle, being drawn increasingly into the showbiz world of wife Victoria, was compatible with the regime of a professional footballer. His manager did not."

Sir Bobby Charlton - not a fan of Posh.

"He was never a problem until he got married."

Sir Alex Ferguson concurs.

"At 4.15 am, my coach and me walked into McDonald's."

David Ferrer gets the munchies after finishing his US Open match with Rafael Nadal at 2am.

"I'm now out there spending someone else's money, which is brilliant! I feel like I've died and gone to heaven!"

Peterborough director of football Barry Fry on the joys of no longer owning the club.

"There's more chance of me flying Concorde to the moon blindfolded than there is of you taking Wales to the World Cup."

What Robbie Savage reportedly told Wales manager John Toshack. At least he's not bitter.

"Ray Clemence has got more chance of starting a game than me at the moment."

Scott Carson on his chances of playing for England.

"Rob Burrow and Danny McGuire bet me £100 I couldn't go eight weeks without shaving - it's the easiest £100 I am ever going to earn."

Leeds Rhinos star Keith Senior does not mind the odd hairy moment.

"I got out of Bolton quick. The weather and English football were not for me. The forwards used to tackle me, a defender. I did not understand."

As Vincent Candela announces his retirement, he reveals why he left Bolton in 2005.

"It was probably good entertainment if you were not on the receiving end."

David Bentley on being booed during his full England debut after pulling out of the European under-21 tournament.

"England aren't the same team as four years ago, they haven't got big Johnsons."

Presenter on Ireland's Newstalk Radio, talking about the Rugby World Cup.

Chris Waddle: "I would like to see Bentley brought on for the last 20 minutes."

Mike Ingham: "12 minutes left here at Wembley..."

Radio 5live coverage of England v Israel.

"Not what Northern Ireland wanted. Nigel Worthington had targeted at least four points from this match."

No wonder Northern Ireland struggled in Latvia when set a task like that!

"Twiddle the knob around until something new comes up."

Jonathan Agnew when telling listeners how to listen to cricket commentary on digital radio (during the final ODI).

"I dont think it was a high tackle, I just think Dominici was low."

ITV commentator in the France v Argentina game.

"God told me to sign for Hull."

Jay-Jay Okocha on why he went to the KC stadium.

"Antoine Sibierski and Titus Bramble are going back to their old ground, where Sibierski was a cult hero, and Bramble...was not."

Jeff Stelling on Soccer Saturday.

"Mozart is pulling all the strings tonight."

Alex McLeish in the studio during the Celtic-Spartak match on BBC Scotland.

"They'll be all right. They'll be safe."

Roy Keane when asked about Man U's prospects for the season.

"If you get two points from every game you win it by a street."

Wolves manager Mick McCarthy talking about what you need to win the Championship - he obviously needs to be taught how the points scoring system works.

"I am here to get to get the job done and I'm not making any predictions...I just know that come the end of the fight I will be WBC champion."

Vivian Harris not making any predictions ahead of his fight against Junior Witter.

"This is a game Serena could either win or lose depending on how she plays."

US Open commentator before Serena Williams v Justine Henin.

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