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The 'Banter' Thread


Stuart H
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As you should have noticed given the blanket posting across the club threads, earlier this week, SM Dev (Ste) created an announcement calling an end to the trolling on the general football sub-forum.

However, we feel that the 'banter' that goes with football has plenty of merits so this is a thread where you can wind up other fans, mock other clubs and discuss glory hunting and the like to your heart's content. Basically, the rule highlighted in the announcement can be flaunted in here (and in here only). Because of the contentious nature of what is likely to be posted, I'd advise you to steer clear of this thread if you're someone who can't take a few jibes; only dish it out if you can handle it coming back at you.

Obviously, the other forum rules still apply so don't swear and don't flame or incite reactions out of individual posters. If the thread causes numerous problems for us to moderate, we will not hesitate to close it.

Enjoy ;)

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Re: The OFFICIAL 'Banter' Thread

All Manchester United fans are glory hunters- discuss!

Evidence?

1. People from outside of Manchester rarely pick a team like Watford or Rochdale to support, instead they pick the most successful teams of the last 20 years.

2. Manchester United fans were cheering Liverpool to Wembley - if that isn't simply supporting who ever is likely to win then I will never know what is.

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Guest drseanfitz

Re: The OFFICIAL 'Banter' Thread

All Manchester United fans are glory hunters- discuss!

I disagree. I met a united fan once who wasn't a glory hunter.

true he was 6 months old, but surely that counts:p

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Guest drseanfitz

Re: The OFFICIAL 'Banter' Thread

Did you ask him his reasons for 'supporting United'?

yep, it was something to do with goo. no mentions of trophies or anything.

Although I did struggle to understand him as we were in Japan at the time

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Re: The 'Banter' Thread

What do spurs fans to celebrate winning the EPL?

Turn off their PS2 :o

Could maybe update that to PS3 now, no? ;)

@Ian - 1. People from outside of Manchester rarely pick a team like Watford or Rochdale to support, instead they pick the most successful teams of the last 20 years.

I think it's unfair to say that people choose to support top quality teams in England because of success. The top teams get the most publicity and most TV coverage so naturally people from outside England are going to be drawn to these teams.

Some of you may see me as a glory hunter for supporting Liverpool. In my defence, the quality of football in Northern Ireland is absolutely abysmal! No one in their right mind would pay £10 to watch my local team on a regular basis. You see just as high a standard at an amateur league game for free to tell the truth.

That being said I still support them and go to games occasionally. I don't see why I shouldn't be allowed to support Liverpool more so though. Nor do I see how I can be considered a glory hunter when I spend several hundred pounds a year on merchandise and travelling to games when possible. The way I see it; supporting a club is doing just that - giving them support. Isn't paying money into the club 'supporting' them?

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Re: The 'Banter' Thread

How about a few of these Chelsea jokes? Enjoy:

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?

A: A Problem.

Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?

A: An even bigger problem.

Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?

A: Problem solved

Royal Mail have just recalled their latest selection of stamps, featuring pictures of Jose Mourinho on them. Apparently people were confused which side to spit on.

What is the difference between Jose Mourinho and God ?

God doesn't think he's Jose Mourinho.

A man and his son were at the breakfast table when the father spots something in the paper.

"Van Gough sold for £8 million", he says shaking his head.

"Is he worth it dad?"

Impressed that his boy is taking an interest in fine art, the father says, "I suppose so son. Why do you ask?"

"Well it's just that Mourinho paid more than that for Andrei Shevchenko - and he's pants".

Why can't you get a cup of tea at the Bridge? All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Old Trafford.

Missing: 1 x Bottle

Last Seen: 21st May, Moscow

If found please return to: John Terry, Stamford Bridge, London

Did you hear about the new 'Chelsea Bra'? Lots of support but no cups.

Samaritans are offering counselling to all Chelsea fans. Call 0800 101010 – that’s 08000 won nothing won nothing won nothing.

John Terry has fuelled speculation that he will join West Ham this summer by being overheard singing "I'm forever blowing doubles."

Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?

A: I don't know, there are some things a pig just won't do.

Q: What's the difference between a Chelsea supporter and an Onion?

A: No one cries when you chop up a Chelsea fan!

A Chelsea supporter goes to his doctor to find out what's wrong with him.

"Your problem is you're fat, "says the doctor.

"I'd like a second opinion" responds the man.

"OK, you're ugly too" replies the doctor.

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Re: The 'Banter' Thread

How about a few of these Chelsea jokes? Enjoy:

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?

A: A Problem.

Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?

A: An even bigger problem.

Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?

A: Problem solved

Royal Mail have just recalled their latest selection of stamps' date=' featuring pictures of Jose Mourinho on them. Apparently people were confused which side to spit on.

What is the difference between Jose Mourinho and God ?

God doesn't think he's Jose Mourinho.

A man and his son were at the breakfast table when the father spots something in the paper.

"Van Gough sold for £8 million", he says shaking his head.

"Is he worth it dad?"

Impressed that his boy is taking an interest in fine art, the father says, "I suppose so son. Why do you ask?"

"Well it's just that Mourinho paid more than that for Andrei Shevchenko - and he's pants".

Why can't you get a cup of tea at the Bridge? All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Old Trafford.

Missing: 1 x Bottle

Last Seen: 21st May, Moscow

If found please return to: John Terry, Stamford Bridge, London

Did you hear about the new 'Chelsea Bra'? Lots of support but no cups.

Samaritans are offering counselling to all Chelsea fans. Call 0800 101010 – that’s 08000 won nothing won nothing won nothing.

John Terry has fuelled speculation that he will join West Ham this summer by being overheard singing "I'm forever blowing doubles."

Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?

A: I don't know, there are some things a pig just won't do.

Q: What's the difference between a Chelsea supporter and an Onion?

A: No one cries when you chop up a Chelsea fan!

A Chelsea supporter goes to his doctor to find out what's wrong with him.

"Your problem is you're fat, "says the doctor.

"I'd like a second opinion" responds the man.

"OK, you're ugly too" replies the doctor.[/quote']

I got a belter of a joke to share

Arsenals League position :)

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Re: The 'Banter' Thread

Still better then 99 per cent of Man Citeh's efforts in the top flight before they became Etihad.

Or indeed 99% better than before Roman took over Chelsea. Liverpool, Arsenal and Man U are proper English clubs in that respect because they don't need to spend millions to win trophies or make finals.

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Re: The OFFICIAL 'Banter' Thread

All Manchester United fans are glory hunters- discuss!

Evidence?

1. People from outside of Manchester rarely pick a team like Watford or Rochdale to support' date=' instead they pick the most successful teams of the last 20 years.

[b']2. Manchester United fans were cheering Liverpool to Wembley - if that isn't simply supporting who ever is likely to win then I will never know what is.[/b]

#ahem

From Anon: "As a Liverpool fan, I have to will for a Manchester United victory this afternoon, I'm almost ashamed!"

Works both ways ;)

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Re: The 'Banter' Thread

Still better then 99 per cent of Man Citeh's efforts in the top flight before they became Etihad.

Let's not dwell too much on history - I mean - history shows that Troy' date=' Sparta, Macedonia were once 'great nations' yet they are great no more.

Or indeed 99% better than before Roman took over Chelsea. Liverpool, Arsenal and Man U are proper English clubs in that respect because they don't need to spend millions to win trophies or make finals.

Arsenal have never spent more than £1.9mill on a player? (millions being the plural of million)

Liverpool, Arsenal, United - all English clubs...owned by Americans? How very English :D

This thread has made me happy as a puppy with a numb tongue

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Re: The 'Banter' Thread

Let's not dwell too much on history - I mean - history shows that Troy' date=' Sparta, Macedonia were once 'great nations' yet they are great no more.[/quote']

You could include our great nation.

But at present players to Liverpool for the "History" so History has some worth.

De Gea starts for United, there be plenty of banter from that. :o

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