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dais genesis | commūnicātiō

a raised platform, usually at one end of a hall, used by speakers, for a lectern, throne, seats of honour, etc. latin


an online game without communication is an offline experience. the customised setups of
dai invitationals
, with
being the first, changes the way we play via highly involving and totally immersive game worlds.

Soccer Manager reflects and supports the real world and
reflects and supports Soccer Manager. Football and Football Management, real world or here, does not need replacing.

takes Soccer Manager and drives it to the max, to ensure members enjoy the game and its environment to the full.


every match is important as you will be in daily contact with the opposition manager via the private members group. each club decision is open to scrutiny through media reports and articles. any success highly praised and all failures highly derided.


, and
dais invitationals
as a whole, comment is free and opinion is everything. thus participation and communication is vital to its members, whom are fanatical in their enjoyment and support of the game world.

through such measures,
has benefitted from a real community being borne. an almost living entity with eyes, ears and a voice. one in which pulsates and breathes, has passion and suffers fury in equal measure.
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Re: DAiS Genesis | Media PART ONE Ashley Holtom lives a quiet, peaceful life in his comfortable hole at Swan End. Ashley lives in a hole because he is a hobbit—one of a race of small, plump peo

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Re: DAiS Genesis | Media -A Leyton Orient Story- Just thought I'd tell ya'll how I'm fairing with the players in my side ... I was given the wrong team to start with (wich I'm quite gratefu

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Division 1 Predictions

Hannover 96 versus Swansea City

Scott Samuels plays Ashtini's Swansea team at their house. With the likes of Yaya Toure and Juan Mata against the great goalscorer Falcao, and defending sensations David Luiz and Joleon Lescott. I am predicting a 1-1 draw.

Leeds United versus Deportivo

Leigh's all Spaniard Deportivo team will travel to Leeds to play against Craig's Leeds United with the likes of Kyle Walker, Ikay Gundogan, and Thibaut Courtois. Should be a pretty even game, however, Deportivo will come on top with a 2-1 win.

Celtic versus Cardiff City

Some people may call it a rivalry that Fraser and Dai might have, others might call it a "secret love affair". They will face each other in the first game of the season with Fraser's strong Celtic with the likes of Eden Hazard, Luuk De Jong, and Aly Cissokho. Not much transfer news for Cardiff City bringing in only 2 players and Bernd Leno on loan as their goalkeeper. Should be an interesting match, but Hazard will dominate and Celtic will win 2-0.

Parma versus West Bromwich Albion

Game of the day in my opinion, both clubs managed by experienced managers and both have the highest valued clubs in the Division. Sean's Parma's got many talented players such as Robin Van Persie, who is said to be this season's highest goal scorer, as well as Joe Hart in goal, and Jordi Alba as one of Parma's top quality defender. Kevin's WBA got a stacked midfield with the likes of Xabi Alonso, Michael Carrick, and Claudio Marchisio. Should be interesting how it plays out, however it will most likely end in a 2-2 draw.

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"What happens in Glasgow stays in Glasgow.."

Celtic vs Cardiff

That was the remark by manager Dai Smout as his Cardiff travel north of the border to face Fraser McInnes' Celtic.

Asked to expand upon his statement, Smout stated,
"It's the start of the season and the Bluebirds have only just embarked upon their rebuilding programme.

Thus, the team you will see against the Whoops will bear little relation to the side they'll face in their return game."

Further adding flames to the fire the Cardiff Manager continued,
"It also 'stays in Glasgow' due to the fact that the natives can barely string a few words together anyway."

Fraser vs Dai

It's a quirk of the scheduling that both managers are brought together at this stage. An in-built animosity should ensure a most explosive game and start to the season.

Conceding the advantage, Cardiff's Smout responded,
"It's a dog eat dog match. Unfortunately they're used to eating dogs up there."

Yet, he admitted he is not ready to give up just yet,
"Let's face it, Fraser looks like a gibbon."

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DAiS Genesis | Division 2

Week 1 – 2-9-12

As the first weekend of game approach the various strategies of the managers will become apparent. With no current league form to consider, the game previews are based entirely on the players ratings (yes this is me covering my **** when all the predictions are completely wrong).

Basel.png FC Basel - Wigan Athletic Wigan.png

Basel approach this game with a number of high profile signings in the side with Stevenson changing every single member of the team from just over a week ago. The team look well rounded in most areas and have a decent level of depth should they be able to put together any sort of cup run. It perhaps isn’t the strongest side at this level but they look well balanced and will prove a solid challenge, especially at home.

Wigan Supremo SOP has been more conservative in his approach and still has a number of original Wigan players in the team, but they have been complemented by some astute signings at both the top and bottom end of the ability chain. They could do with strengthening in wide areas but overall it’s a strong side.

There’s not much between the two sides in reality, Wigan may have the odd standout star, but Basel have the better balance to the first team and I think this will be a close game with the most likely result a draw.

FC Basel 1 - 1 Wigan Athletic

Atlanta.png Atalanta - Southampton Southampton.png

Atalanta manager Lee Bradbury has put together arguably the strongest side in the league inside of a week (Jim White would be wetting himself). Some highly rated players combined with some talented squad players means they will be a force this season and one of the favourites for the top spot.

Ashley Kirk’s Southampton look to be one of the weaker teams in the league at this point with the manager retaining a large portion of the Saints players. That hasn’t stopped him picking up some talented squad players but they will need to improve if they wish to challenge and would currently be one of my picks to struggle this season.

On paper this looks heavily weighted in Atlanta’s favour, especially with home advantage and I simply don’t see a way the Saints will get anything out of this game.

Atalanta 2 – 0 Southampton

Espanyol.png Espanyol - 1. FSV Mainz 05Mainz.png

Espanyol stood out as one of the stronger clubs to start with and with some clever buys from manager marcos vitorino, they will be confident of putting in some good performances this season. The side lack standout superstars but have a lot of good depth and the potential to raise funds quickly should they need to. It’s a well-balanced side but probably not one that will challenge for trophies without more recruitment.

‘Self-Inflicted’ is another manager that has added sparingly to the existing squad and been conservative in his recruitment approach. To date just six players have been added but those six will add some much needed quality to the side. Despite this, they could also be a side that struggles this season without reinforcements being added.

Neither of these sides boast a particularly strong starting line-up, but Espanyol do look marginally stronger both in their potential starting 11 and their squad depth. With home advantage taken into account I think they will edge out a slightly weaker Mainz.

Espanyol 2 - 1 FSV Mainz 05

LeytonOrient.png Leyton Orient – Sochaux Sochaux.png

Orient manager Elohim came to the party late after some initial hiccups but has since moved to strengthen his side considerably. A number of talented French youth players have come in and improved the side but they still lack quality at this level and look likely to struggle this season unless the manager can pull off a fully-fledged miracle.

Sochaux have been one of the busier teams in the transfer market so far this season and boast one of the bigger squads in the league but their manager’s focus on bigger ratings and youth players has left the squad short of quality depth after their starting 11. They look like one of the stronger sides in the league but injuries or a good cup run cost them dearly in the league.

Sochaux look much stronger than their opponents in this game despite giving away home advantage and I would expect them to take a comfortable victory here.

Leyton Orient 0 – 2 Sochaux

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Hannover-96-icon.pngvs Swansea-City-icon.png

After 2 friendly matches between these two clubs the time had finally come for their first league encounter. The friendlies had finished level, with Hanover winning 3-1 and Swansea winning 5-4 just last night.

This league match turned out to be a one sided affair - Hanover comfortably won 2-1 with all stats but yellow cards and corners in their favour.

Bafetimbi Gomis and Rafael Van Der Vaart grabbed the goals in the 15th & 60th minutes respectively.


VAN DER VAART crosses the ball towards the penalty spot, GOMIS brings the ball down and tries a shot from a narrow angle -STEKELENBURG is slightly out of position and the ball goes past him.


LESCOTT goes in with a hard tackle to try to win the ball back.

Free kick to Hanover -VAN DER VAART tries to dip the free kick over the keeper, the keeper is stranded as the ball flies into the top corner.

Swansea manager Ashley Holtom admitted his team were outplayed and showed his disapointment - "Hanover played well today - the amount of attempts they had on goal was not good enough on our part - I think that came from them dominating the midfield - its a good job their strikers were a little inconsistant" (;)).

He went on to comment about a potential tactical change - "De Guzman didnt play well in the AM role, I think I will have shuffle and see how he does in the centre of the midfield".

Well played Mr Samuels

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Cardiff Didn't Swallow In Glasgow

Celtic vs Cardiff

"Well, that depends upon the boy - the girls certainly do in South Wales."
was the response from the Blueparrots Manager, Dai Smout.

Additionally, in a match that Celtic were lucky to walk away with a draw, Dai added,
"Given the chance, they would have walked away with the DVD Player, iPod and anything else they could have got their hands on - thieving goits."

Transfer Schmansfer

Finally entering the market, Dai Smout announced two key signings whom will join the team before their next match, a squeaky bum game, against Parma.

"The Chairman's expectation is to avoid relegation - which effectively translates to their lack of belief that we'll stay in the top division"
says the Manager.
"The signing of Balotelli challenges that opinion."

Although, the hopes of Cardiff do not rely upon just the skills of one forward, they have also employed the services of a young and talented Greek defender.

"Our regeneration programme spreads across the squad and in all areas. Balotelli will shine, but we must shine in all areas. Therefore, in addition, we have signed the [CB/DM] Kyriakos Papadopawatalotawoppachopadous."

Just like the man whom couldn't pronounce his F, T and H's - you can't say
fairer than that then..

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Celtic 1-1 Cardiff City

Honours even in Glasgow as, in an astonishing act of clemency, Celtic's manager keeps his star man on the bench for the curtain raiser.

Asked why he kept Hazard off the pitch McInnes replied,

Pure and simply because Smouts team are a bunch of hammer throwers. The man knows nothing about finesse.

Plus, he's dying already. I could smell the stench from him as soon as he arrived at paradise (that's just his natural B.O.). I decided to show mercy on him and allow him to have a point (a refreshing change, he never usually has one)

One final point for the masses. In case they didn't know already Dai Smout is full of bovine scatology.

The best thing in the match was, of course, De Jong's free kick. An absolute peach but that was bettered by the pre-game warm up where McInnes and Smout took to the field for a kick around only for Smout to end up having to chase the Glasgow mans shadow whilst McInnes took great pleasure in performing meg after meg to shouts of TUUNNEELLLLL from the partisan crowd.

Next up is an away trip to Leigh Auston's Depor. Asked on his thoughts regarding this forthcoming encounter McInnes replied,

No worries. Shouldn't be any issues for us. We'll be looking to kick on a gear or two now the season has started in earnest.

When asked if Hazard could make his first start of the season the Celtic manager replied,

Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back...?
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Mainz boss Dave Izod.

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS-OTalnzRtg6WQC-skl-X2ZkciNQOjZcOlUMBp4rwrLuNbinrH&t=1Frank Worthington Writes... Mainz boss and South East London exile Dave Izod, tonight moved quickly to defuse rumours of growing tensions between him and Marcos ' Barajona' Vitorino by branding the swathy Spainish boss of Espanyol as ''a nice chap''. After watching his hotly tipped Espanyols drab performance in the 1-1 draw with Izods Mainz at the weekend, Vitorino this morning set division 2 ablaze by branding Izod a '' dirty Grinngo, who will pay with iz life....zee pig!! '' an accusation the horrifically scarred Izod played down by declaring....

'' I've never been one to pay to much attention to whats written in the press, and in fairness i haven't spoken to Marcos about his comments. In fact i would go as far to say that after the game, i found him a very nice chap. Ok, like many i was surprised by his choice of headwear for the game, one normally associates sombreros with toothless Iberian types hanging around airports begging to exchange their worthless Euros for a decency currency like the English pound. Nevertheless whilst casting somewhat of an odd figure as he paced the technical area spiting and passing wind, i respect his dress sense and am happy to pay tribute to not only his sense of cultural identity, but the practicality of protecting his sun addled bonce from further unwanted damage by the hot Spanish sun. With that in mind i think its important that we reconise the huge handicap managers like Marcos face by not only over exposure to the heat, but the misfortune of being born into a third world country like Spain. Hundreds of years of povety, corruption, sardine farming, brutal oppression by teh bishop of Rome, Franco and now the German run E.U has produced a backward nation of very little consequence ( other than their huge debt) populated by tight bottomed, oilly haired matadors who pay little tax and expect to retire at 55 to a life of Siesta's, ugly fat bottomed women, cheap booze and the whole scale slaughter of innocent bovines, all financed by the good tax payers of London. For Marcos to escape his misfortune of birth by landing a job here in the Dias invitaional, is indeed a testament to both his skill and luck and i for one wish him well in fulfilling the huge weight of expectaion at Esponyal by delivering the divison 2 title. ''

The game itself was a poor spectacle for the 40,000 strong crowd at the aptly named stadium ' El Prat' as the defensively minded home team achieved the draw they so clearly desired by cancelling out Mainz's 3-5-2 set-up with a sterile 4-4-2 formation. With the early exchanges dominated by the attack minded Germans, Espanyol took a surprise lead after the aging Sabrosa Simoa rose to head past the despairing Heinz Muller on the 30 minute mark. Sadly for the Spainish, the advantage was short lived, when barely 5 minutes later Mainz achieved parity as a Andreas Ivans headed home a well dirrected Feghouli free kick. Next up for Mainz, a home vist from minows Leyton Orient who travel to the Rhineland on the back of their surprise opening day 3-0 victory at Brisbane road over Schaux.

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Simão was unable to prevent Espanyol’s 1-1 draw at home against Mainz

The game

The Portuguese international Simão Sabrosa, from the top of his 1,70m, scored a perfect head goal at minute 30, following a free kick from de Marcos. Simão was later considered the Man of Match. Mainz reacted very well to the daring Spaniards and 5 minutes later managed to get a free kick in a very dangerous position. Ivanschitz answered well to Feghouli crossing and scored for Mainz. The first game of the season is always a big stress moment for the teams and this was no different. Both teams had a lot of extra caution in their offensive moves and the game tended to be of less quality in the second half.

Voice to the managers

Mainz manager Dave Izod was not an happy man in the end, he told us that “when i landed here i was meant to crash this bunch of handicapped little men...”, on the other hand Marcos Vitorino told us that “this point that we have right now should be 50% of the points that we’ll achieve in the whole season so, i’m very very happy with that”. Stressed to comment the recent news about going on a romantic dinner with Izod in Las Ramblas after the game, Marcos told us “he told me that i couldn’t take my sombrero so, i’m done talking to him”.

Near future

Espanyol’s next match will be at St. Mary’s Stadium, the home of Southampton, while Mainz will receive Elo’s Leyton Orient.

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Dnipro vs Trabzonspor

Match Preview

With one match played, both Division 3 teams have 3 points on the board with Trabzonspor sitting two places ahead in 1st position due to a superior goal difference.

Dnipro manager Juande Ramos survived the summer managerial merry-go-round to keep with job at the Ukrainian outfit while Trabzonspor appointed Ben Magee as their manager to overhaul the existing team.

In his pre-match press conference, Magee remarked:

'We are delighted with our win last week, and have assembled a strong squad that will help us to challenge in a really competitive league.

An away game against Dnipro is going to be a good test of where we're at as a team, and if we can bring three points back across the Black Sea, I'll be absolutely delighted.

Trabzonspor striker Neymar tops the goalscorer charts at this early stage of the season and will be looking to build on his hat-trick against Braintree last week.

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Five Star Deportivo put Celtic's stars to shame

It is only early doors in season 1 but Deportivo manager Leigh Auston had already pinpointed this fixture as a potential grudge match when the fixtures were announced. Celtic and their star players like Eden Hazard and Luuk De Jong were no match for Auston's all Spanish Deportivo side. Celtic boss Fraser McInnes, a long term rival of Auston's is yet to comment on the loss but will no doubt be devastated to have been taught a footballing lesson so early in the season. His only saving grace could be that his team could learn from this and ensure no further humiliations happen for the rest of the season.

A rather disappointing 19,737 attended the Riazor for the 'derby' of sorts but those that did attend will have been delighted by the football played by the home team. Celtic did take an early lead with Napoli reject Eduardo Vargas opening the scoring on 6 minutes with a powerful header from talisman Eden Hazard's excellent delivery into the danger area. Deportivo were forced to rally but slowly came into the game and on 18 minutes they got a deserved equaliser through the ever dangerous Lopez Adrian. More superb play from Adrian presented Jose Callejon with an easy chance to score on 24 minutes which he greatly accepted. It was soon 3-1 on 29 minutes with Thiago scoring after more excellent work from Adrian. Celtic managed to repel Deportivo's further attacks and welcomed the half time whistle.

I don't know what McInnes said to his beleaguered troops during the interval but he can say the same thing in every game against me as merely seconds after the restart the game was effectively put to bed as Manu Del Moral made it 4 - 1 with a shot into the bottom corner. Celtic did manage a consolation on the hour when superstar signing Eden Hazard made it 4-2 after being played in by Vargas. This only spurred on the Deportivo players though and the rout was completed on 74 minutes when Callejon's ball into the box when met by a marauding run from defensive midfielder Iturraspe and his shot found the net again forcing Forster to pick the ball from the net for the fifth time!

Despite further chances there were no further goals but Auston was delighted with both the performance and the result. Such early form is always a bonus, especially in such short seasons and hopefully it can continue as next up is a tough game with Swansea at the Riazor. Ashley Holtom has bought extremely well and dramatically improved the swans who are now lead but the irrepressible Falcao so deportivo's defenders will need to be on their game next week.

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Les Rouge et Blanc

"AS Monaco passes over Betis in Spain".

Real Betis
2 x 4
AS Monaco

With 60% of possession "Les Rouge et Blanc" dominated the midfield and achieved an important victory in the fight for promotion.

Shirokov was chosen as best player scoring a goal with a beautiful performance, even away Monaco finally showed its strength, with a team that mixes young talent with players enshrined.

Adriano scored twice and also had a great game, Toivonen completed the 4 for Monaco, the next game will be at home against CSKA Sofia in the Louis II and the board believes the crowd will attend.


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Fraser McInnes, Celtic supremo and multi talented individual, was still unavailable for comment last night after his division favourites shock loss in Northern Spain.

This was mainly due to the fact that the police in Glasgow's east end would not allow any cell based interviews by the local press.

After watching his sides demolition in Spain, McInnes was reported to have managed to plough through 3x bottles of Highland Park, 2x Taliskers and finished on an always smooth bottle of Dalwhinnie. No doubt this had an impact on the devastation he caused in the family home on his return. Hence his incarceration. No damage to her indoors (she's a bit too butch for him) but Henrik (the family cat) is recovering well after having 7 shades of s**t kicked out of him.

Assurances have been made by the local law enforcement that McInnes has returned to sobriety and will be released later today to mastermind his first victory of the season against West Bromwich Albion (we think)...

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Pie Sports News brings you:


Pre-Season Preparation

It's been a busy pre-season for the majority of teams in division two, with so many comings and goings as managers try to get their teams in the best possible shape in the build-up to the season ahead.

But is there enough time to really do everything you want to do? Sochaux manager Anthony Maddison feels like the competitive matches came round too soon, saying he needs 'at least another week' to sort his side out, after a defeat to Leyton Orient on the opening day, which manager Maddison called 'disgraceful'. Coming off the back of some promising pre-season results, it has left some fans wondering if the manager can hack it at this level, due to his questionable change in tactics for the league games, despite some smart purchases. Only time will tell.

It's a similar story at Wigan, where Simon Nicholls oversaw a solid set of friendly results, only to pick up one point from the first two matches of the season. Despite this, the fan at the DW stadium remains confident in such an experienced, well-revered manager who is sure to bring success to the club at some stage.

One manager feels that the flurry of activity all around him led him to make a few signings.

Espanyol's Marcos Vitorino said, 'Looking at the team and at the rivals we decided that we need more depth in the team. That's the reason why Joao Moutinho and Yuto Nagatomo have just joined'.

Vitorno re-shaped his squad following disappointing results in the friendlies, specifically adding Andriy Yarmolenko, Olivier Giroud and Andy Carroll to boost his attacking options. However, he feels this will need to be a season of stability for the Spaniards.

'Regarding the season expectations, I would like to really try and balance the team for a more ambitious approach next season. I hope not to be relegated, but I will try to enjoy the season regardless'.

So what about the star signings for each team? Here's a quick rundown:

FC Basel - Lukas Podolski 4491_1346892699.jpg

The German striker is a fan-favourite already at St. Jakob-Park, and he will be keen to solidify that status in a small but promising squad by chipping in with a few goals to aid Basel's attempts at mounting a play-off charge.

Wigan Athletic - Alex Song 5676_1345908429.jpg

With Wigan looking to meet their manager's somewhat pessimistic aims of avoiding relegation, they will be relying on Song to provide the team's spine. A brilliant playmaker from deep in the heart of midfield, he will link up well with Shinji Kagawa and hope to provide Fernando Torres with plenty of goals.

Espanyol - Olivier Giroud 15177_1345907965.jpg

If manager Vitorino can get him firing, then the Frenchman will be the key to Espanyol staying up. A potential dark horse for the golden boot.

Sochaux - Javier Mascherano 3679_1344533430.jpg

The Argentine recently became a centre-back after establishing himself as a terrific holding midfielder. If Anthony Maddison intends on playing him at the back, Mascherano should form a formidable partnership with Neven Subotic, proving difficult for even the best attackers to break down.

Southampton - Marco Reus 35346_1345573214.jpg

With the Saints looking likely to go down, Ashley Kirk is putting a lot of pressure on the young German forward to keep them afloat with his mobility and goal-scoring prowess. He will be expected to not only lead, but to carry the team.

Leyton Orient - Joel Obi 46003_1346054408.jpg

The underdogs from London have a lot to do this season, and finishing anywhere above eighth place will be a remarkable achievement. Young midfielder Joel Obi will live up to expectations this season, and he will be relied on to provide and weigh in with goals to give the O's a fighting chance this season.

Mainz - Fernando Llorente 2727_1339323935.jpg

The proven goalscorer is the best of a bad bunch, and unpopular manager Dave Izod will hope the Spaniard can restore a bit of likability to the club (though it is unlikely).

Atalanta - Santi Cazorla 3017_1344449886.jpg

Lee Bradbury is overjoyed with the signing of Cazorla, and his contribution to the club so far with some promising early performances. He will be considered a key player in a star-studded side.

The Key Clashes

LeytonOrient.pngLeyton Orient vs FC BaselBasel.png

Every game is a big game for Orient, but it will be interesting to see how they pick themselves up after losing away at Mainz in midweek. Basel meanwhile will be looking to get their first win of the season and climb away from the bottom of the table. Both teams have something to prove to the other managers in the division, but who will do it? With Orient at home, they will be looking to upset another strong team.

Mainz.pngMainz vs AtalantaAtlanta.png

A rivalry that has run almost as long as Izod's nose, that appeals to the masses as little as Izod's appearance, and that usually provides matches as unexciting as Izod's press conferences, it's fair to say that when Dave Izod goes up against Lee Bradbury tonight, the touchline will be alight. That's because the thuggish Mainz manager snuck some flares into the dressing room.

The Mainz boss has been trying some mind games in the run-up to tonight's game, but Lee Bradbury, some way short of having a mind, has announced that he is 'unaffected'.

The recently-appointed Atalanta boss said, 'He loves to try and get me thinking. He tends to bluff so much I don't think he remembers why. I have my tactics for tonight, and, win or lose, I'll be more than happy with myself for choosing said tactics. I won't crumble. Football is much more than a game of tactics and mind games, after all. If he does win, it'll probably be a fluke, and in that case, I couldn't care less'.

Mainz boss Izod was unavailable for comment.

The Grapevine

Wigan manager Simon Nicholls has insisted that sought-after attacker Victor Moses is not for sale, at least for now. Nicholls stated 'Depending on how Victor performs over the next few months, we will see. At the moment the only likely move would be on loan, but right now we don't wish to do that'.

Lee Bradbury felt only 'content' with his squad, despite being one that, on paper, rival bosses would envy.

'I do believe I have a good squad of players here, yes, but it could've been an even better one. There were lots of targets for me during pre-season and I couldn't secure all the players I was after. I was a little disheartened to see them go to other clubs, especially as some of them were players I am a massive fan of. I hope to sign a couple of them at some point during my time here, but overall, I'm content with what I have here, and hopefully we can surprise a few and make a promotion push this season. We're feeling ambitious'.

And finally, Espanyol boss Marcos Vitorino has hinted that he would like one more player to strengthen his defence, although no transfer bid has been made official as of yet. Rumour has it Paris Saint-Germain centre-half Diego Lugano is linked with a move, as well as Olympiakos' Greek utility man Vasilis Torosidis.

Pie Sports News thanks the managers of Division 2 for their contribution, friendliness and willingness to collaborate for the good of such an awful piece of media. Cheers guys, all the best (except Izod, he smells).

Brought to you by Pie Sports News.

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Fourth Division Fireworks


Blackpool 0 - 1 RC Lens

unmanaged Blackpool were given a footballing lesson today by a crack Lens side sitting nicely in 2nd place after the opening 3 games of the season. the visitors enjoyed 66% of possession and blootered the homeside on every other stat despite winning thye match with a solitary goal in the 43rd minute from Dos Santos. Blackpool looked every bit a team in dire need of a manager compared to the visitors who are looking like early candidates for a promotion battle

Real Betis 2 - 1 Birmingham City

3rd placed Betis dominated an encounter against another unmanaged club tonight and stay in just 3 points off the pace thanks to two second half goals from Schurrle (48) and Castro (71). The visitors actually took the lead in the 33rd minute, but superior possession and class finally took over and the Spaniards did enough in the end to take all three points. they now face a mouth watering trip to 2nd placed Lens next week.

CHIEVO 9 - 0 Forest Green Rovers

Table-toppers Chievo set a club and set up record tonight with a 9-0 demolition of a dumbstruck Forest Green side at the Marcantonio Bentegodi. The visiting side must still be sitting wondering what the is going on after a match where they had more shots on target than the Italians who incredibly scored with every single shot that was on target. the stats will tell a different story than the scoreline reads but Chievo are flying at the moment, and with 3 wins from 3, will be aiming to take this kind of form all the way to the third Division.

AS Monaco 2 - 1 CSKA Sofia

4th placed Monaco kept up the early pressure on the top 3 with a nice 2-1 win at home to Bulgarian giants CSKA thanks to two second half goals from Toivonen (48) and Shirokov (75) and their superior possession. CSKA broke the deadlock in the 17th minute through Dost but the French cracks class shone through in the end and the points stayed with the 11,551 home supporters at the Louis II stadium. Monaco travel to a wounded Forest Green next knowing that the homeside will be going all out for the win.

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Les Rouge Et

"The Shirokovness survive"

With the highest attendance until right now, Les Monegasques managed the second straight victory with the help of the crowd, in a very tough game,
"The Shirokovness"
appeared again and again the Russian playmaker decided to the French side, with a goal was voted man of the match again and is already a favorite of the fans.

Fans that make up much of this victory, in a very complicated game they made a difference and supported until the end.
AS Monaco
is now in fourth place in the table and travels to face
Forest Green Rovers
, with the strength shown by the team as a whole, I would just say, "Run Forrest, Run"


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Cardiff vs Leeds Match Summary & Report

Leeds United
, whilst away to
Cardiff City
, felt right at home with their comprehensive win over the
yesterday evening.

The Manager of the Welsh giants,
Dai Smout
, later complained,
"In the second half our team just fell to pieces. My wife could have played better - and she's a right fat cow."
Furthermore, he added,
"She's ugly too, real ugly. Plus she's smelly, real smelly."

, a goal down at half time, showed much composure after the break and comfortably won 3-1 by the final whistle with Man of the Match
scoring a brace.

, whose only point so far this season came from a draw with
(and let's face it, that's probably technically considered a 'win' by the
) next face
in the league. Between then, the first round of the
DAiS Genesis Cup
will be contested.

Asked for further comment,
Dai Smout
"A cow too, totally bovine."
That would, at least, explain the udders..

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Burakcan Kúnt is a name that is making big waves in the world of football. The Turkish midfielder who currently plays for Leicester City has been on the lips of many a pundit, fan and manager in recent weeks. Though he has now appeared to of hit the big time, his earlier years were nothing short of miserable.

Burakcan was born in Cologne on the 15th of May 1992 to a legless mother called Duerty and a father with no ears called Harry. His early life was often of that in poverty, where his mother worked as a bomb tester and his father worked as a road kill remover. Often his father would come home drunk in the evening and threaten to cut off Burakcan's finger nails and his mum on more than one occasion attacked his father with the lawnmower.

Burakcan's father died in 1995 after committing suicide minutes after sitting through Kevin Costner's "Waterworld". Amazingly though, Burakcan's mother, Duerty still lives and still works in the same profession.

At the age of 7 Burakcan joined MSV Duisburg's academy and went on to feature for them at the under 12's, under 16's and featured in the youth team final. During his time in the youth team, Kúnt scored 74 goals in 18 matches, getting the record for most goals in one game against Kickers Emden, in which he scored 73 goals in the 142-1 mauling, an interesting fact from that match is also Kúnt scored the own goal.

Kúnt joined the first team in 2011 and in his first season scored 1 goal in 2 games, but his season was marred by a horrendous injury after just 2 seconds, when he took the kick off with team mate Ranisav Jovanovic. As he attempted to roll the ball to his counterpart, he shattered his metatarsal, tore 3 ligaments in his leg and also broke his ankle. Burakcan was out for 2 weeks in which he fully recovered but went on loan to ironically Kickers Emden. He played 45 games for Emden and scored a total of 17 goals and 6 own goals (all fantastically finished by the way).

Burakcan Kúnt joined Leicester City on September 1st from MSV Duisburg in a deal reportedly worth around £2.50, a box of Ferrero Rochet and a signed Peter André handbag. Since his move, Kúnt has played 1 and scored 1. Upon scoring his goal Kúnt told the media: "This is why I joined Leicester, before I left Duisburg, my manager told me that Leicester are a bigger club than Real Madrid, and my manager, who is also the worlds richest man and is married to 6 glamour models and has also completed Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 6 does not lie."

Burakcan Kúnt's contract details are as followed:

27 year contract

£20 per second played

£60 bonus every time he touches the ball

£100000 bonus if he scores

£100000 bonus if he doesn't score

A free banana if he arrives for training on time

A free Maserati Quattroporté if he arrives late for training

A free yacht for each time he kicks Nani

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Grass roots review


CSKA Sofia 1 - 1 Blackpool

the botton two played out a draw this evening that was no shock to 10.238 spectators in attendance,Unmanagegd Blackpool took the lead on 13 minutes thanks to a Grandin strike and with both teams enjoying exactly 50% possession each, it was no surprise that CSKA equaliuzed on44 minutes through Holtby. The home side had far more shots on target than the visitors thanks to the Managers tactics but the fact that the home sides keeper was Man of the Match shows how close it was in the end. CSKA visit Forest Green next in a game they will be hoping to win to climb the table, while Blackpool visit on form Betis.

RC Lens 1 - 1 Real Betis

2nd and 3rd are now 3rd and 4th after a 1-1 draw at the Felix Bollaert Stadium. A win for either side would have put them top thanks to other results but a 25th minute strike for Dos Santos and an 88th minute equalizer from Pereira kept the score at 1-1. The visitors enjoyed most of the possession but couldn't make it pay after Carlos was red carded just before the break and the visiting Manager will be the happier of the 2 gaffers at the final whistle. Betis are home to basement boys Blackpool next while Lens visit leaders Chievo.

Birmingham City 1 - 0 CHIEVO

Unmanaged Birmingham ended Chievo's 100% record tonight despite being under seige for most of the match. the Visitors had 20 shots on goal compared to the homeside's 2 shots and Manager Gaz was left ripping his hair out after failing to beat one of the weaker sides in the league. Chievo will hope to get back on track with Victory against a strong Lens side next, while the unmanaged English side next face a tough trip to 2nd placed Monaco

Forest Green Rovers 1 - 3 AS Monaco

Monaco moved up to 2nd place in the league and are now sitting just 1 point behind leaders Chievo. the French cracks enjoyed 68 percent of possession tonight as they pounded the Forest Green goal with 28 shots. Man of the Match Milito who had 3 assists must be thanking his lucky stars for the free champers as his strike partner Gervinho scored all 3 goals. Monaco could go top next week if they beat unmanaged Birmingham, while struggling Forest Green welcome Sofia.

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Swansea vs Cardiff Match Summary & Report

Local Derby
High On Emotion

For the residents of
South Wales
, the match between
has all the import and atmosphere of the nation playing in the World Cup Final.

Although, such a feeling may be misplaced as the chances of
even qualifying (they last did so in 1958) are so remote that the players of the national squad continue to book their summer holidays as usual. Instead of a swanky hotel in Rio, the team have block booked a wanky mobile home site in Rhyl.

and 31 other nations will be emptying their stomachs of chemicals in the morning, the Taffs will be emptying their chemical toilets.
, literally, will be a huge dump.

Yet, although the spectators of
will be high, it probably won't be due to emotion. Rather, Tipex. Whilst the yr heddlu (that's 'police' to the
and to the others whom don't wish to be covered in phlem everytime they are spoken to in
) aim to control crowd problems and the gathering of groups, both before and after the match, it is somewhat difficult when they find themselves stuck together due to superglue.

Simply, peer pressure compounds the difficulties faced by the authorities when users discover new toxic products and gasses to inhale. This was the case as experienced during the last derby between the two teams whereby the yr hed.. police had to contend with 23,000 supporters high on helium. Following that fiasco, one senior officer stated,
"Imagine 20+ thousand Smurfs. Violent Smurfs. And Welsh."

Responding to the increasing problems at all ages below 34, the yr.. police, local councils and regional traders joined forces in an effort against this practise. One of the proactive tools used to face this battle head on included Tipex buyers having to prove they are employed and can also write. Yet, whilst successful in the short term, one retail area manager complained,
We only sold five bottles in a month and
had to stop this practice before we went out of business."

Although the tightened supply of the editing liquid seemed to have worked, it did result in the 'going rate' of a bottle to £12 and a spate of burglaries. Yet, more worryingly, it also led to the use of inhaling other toxic liquids and gas. One of major concern, due to the fact it is free, is the sniffing of methane. This was emphasized by a local in
, a 24 year old young father, stating,
"Yes, we get off on smelling each others air biscuits. And poo."

City vs City
Caca Haka

Such practice has also spread to both the teams of this derby. Described as an ancient tribal dance, it's the strangest
one is likely to witness.

face a difficult season at this level and must be strong candidates for relegation. Therefore, the pressure felt by each team before kick off was palpable and the methane was available in both a gaseous and semi-solid state, well, more liquid really.

The match statistics showed a much closer game than was envisaged during play, as did the scoreline.
opened the scoring just after half time and it remained the only goal of the afternoon.

Even at this early stage of the season, the
were very relieved for the full points gained from the match.
, however, remain pointless (in more ways than one..) and must contemplate whether they sniff too many bums or not enough.

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Les Rouge Et


AS Monaco gets third win in a row and now are closing to the lead with a great performance, even away, Forest Green Rovers were devastated and sank further.

Gervinho with a hat-trick was the name of the game, with 28 shots on goal and 68% of possession, the team seems increasingly strong and confident. We can not fail to mention Diego Milito, experienced striker who is known as a scorer, but this round decided to distribute the assists for the ivory-boy, Gervinho.

AS Monaco now faces Birmingham City at home, team that is looking for his coach but is still a great challenge, one of the toughest teams in the championship, the board expects a great crowd and a more positive outcome than ever.

Take a look in the Forest Green Rovers after the tonight's game.




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Braintree Town- From Rags to ...well Rags but better ones really

Shall we take it back a little, to the date 24th August 2012, and in the lovely county of Essex in a town named oddly Braintree. A young and yet very talented manager took over the rein of Braintree Town FC's head coach. The Young manager when looking at the league they had decided to enter their team into, at first he thought, what the fudging hell have I ruddy put myself in for. However one did not over panic after seeing that managers like Christian Bishop, Dai Smouthy and Sean Fitzpatrick were managing sides and had a second though of hmmmm...this might just be okay...with that and teams like Deportivio lack of talent in the league it might not be that tough especially managed by some light austin guy...its not a heavy league thats going to weigh us down its light!...and well manager Justice knew that much change was going to be needed in order to compete with some of the teams who were participating in the league and throughout the leagues they may be within in the not so distant future, looking at the Divisions above themselves and hoping that they may one day be there. Braintree Town were placed into the Divison 3 with Trabzonspor, Leicester City, Dnipro, Torino, Blackburn, Hertha BSC and Watford...meh some thought as well as did Justice that there was no Justice or descency thought of when they were placed into a league with such clubs from around Europe. However they did not complain .....MUCH.....and just decided that they best just knuckle down in the transfer window and make sure they bring in some what a few player whom actually with them bring in talent...and so the story begins wth transfers made...

The First few names to arrive at Braintree Town were Raheem Sterling(75), Nick Powell(70), Harry Kane(80) , Reece Wabara(75), Nathan Baker(78), Bryon Lawrence(75) and Yado Mambo(75). Of whom Justice was very pleased to bring in such talented players...however when he saw that teams in his league had signed players like Neymar ...he was kinda more like...well...erm hows best to describe it...he felt like a donkey at a horse party...where your not quite up to the same standard...:o...however he played it cool B)... and quickly jumped back into the market the following day and on the 25th signed in Jordan Ibe(75), Larnell Cole(75), Adam Ledgzindis(75), Nathan Knight-Percival(72), Craig Noone(81), Wesley Fonderingham(72) and Jamie Vardy(75), Inspite of these signings and trying to sign Ryan Bertrand who refused to play for such a small club...kinda put...it all into perspective for Justice and how big the challange ahead was going to be...the fans were liking the new players, but want a big signing...someone who could compete with the likes of Neymar and Lavezzi...who did they buy Jordan Rhodes(82)...amongst other suchs as John Ruddy (86) and James Tomkins(85)....and to this day John Ruddy remains the highest rated player at Braintree Town...and players like that were only able to be brought in after a massive sum of cash was injected by the clubs chairman into the club for transfers!...So it was a kinda slow building up process up the point of John Ruddy...so there is a long way to go til the point where my team will be up to the same level as those competing in this league! So after all of Braintree Town's Money was Spend this is the team They ended up with untill more money comes in!

Team:First XI

------John Ruddy(86)------




Rest of Squad:

Raheem Sterling(75)

Cameron Lancaster(75)

Henoc Mukendi(75)

Sm Magri(75)

Ashley Miller(70)

Harry Kane(80)

Jamaal Lascelles(78)

Nick Powell(70)

Jordan Ibe(75)

Yado Mambo(75)

Jamie Vardy(75)

Adam Legzdins(75)

Byron Lawrence(75)

Larnell Cole(75)

Wesley Foderingham(72)

Simon Eastwood(70)

Aden Flint(70)

Dan Burn(70)

Reece Wabara(75)

Nathaniel Knight-Percival(72)

Kyle McFadzean(72)

Andre Blackman(68)

Nathan Wedderburn(72)

Ross Draper(72)

Jon Taylor(72)

Ashley Harris(72)

Brandon Zibaka(72)

Kwesi Appiah(70)

Charlie Lassaso(70)

Jordan Sanderson(70)


John Ruddy, The Best They Got

The England International Goalkeeper, John Ruddy, is the stand out player in at Braintree Town since the arrival of manager Nick Justice. Him along with now former West Ham Centre Back James Tomkins, both arriving just a day apart which was a part of the big cah injection by the chairman who demonstrated his desire and ambition to succeed at this high level.

Before the season began Justice said "If we get 1 point i'll be happy, all season!" Well after 4 games Braintree Town have a lovely 7 points, After Victroies against both Watford and Hertha BSC as well as a draw picked up against Blackburn Rovers, after a nightmare 5-1 loss on the opening day before the newer arrival did bring down the morale in the Braintree Town camp, however they pushed on and have begun very nicely depsite being knocked out the cup by Parma, Just considers it to have been a very succesful opening to the season, thus far

More News to come this is just a small little report on how things are thus far.

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Espanyol’s efficiency beats FC Basel control with a 4-1 win at El Prat

The game

When Mandzukic scored for the visitors at minute 6, everyone in El Prat thought that this was going to be a very hard night for Espanyol. Fortunately for them, they set their minds on turning the result in their favour and 1 min after Yarmolenko was levelling the scoreboard again. Still in the first half, Giroud, in response to two very good long passes from the defence managed to run away from his opponents and beat Patricio. FC Basel response was always constant and the ball control effective, but despite the shooting attempts the ball seemed not to want to go in. At minute 82, Carroll, that was voted the MoM, find his way to the goal after Forlin’s pass. After all their efforts the 4-1 was a heavy score for FC Basel.

Voice to the managers

FC Basel manager John Stevenson was disappointed with the result but happy with his players; he told us "Well can't fault the players. They gave it their all. But losing a game 4-1 is disappointing for morale. But, the fact that the opposition had only 4 shots on target piles on the misery." On the other hand Marcos Vitorino said “I’m of course happy with this result butt less with the exhibition. We had thirteen shots in total but only four shots on target. As we managed to score them, tonight we had no worries, but need to work harder in the future.”

Near future

Espanyol’s next match for the League will be in Bergamo against the undefeated Atalanta, while FC Basel will receive Dave’s Mainz. Meanwhile both teams have to face their challenging Cup games tonight.

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DAiS Genesis | Division 2

Week 6 | 20-9-12

Basel.pngFC Basel - 1. FSV Mainz 05Mainz.png

Despite possessing a strong team Basel have been very poor so far this season and are currently propping up the league (though probably only till Sochaux take their place at the bottom tonight). They can’t get much worse in all honesty but might have a chance to make amends tonight and begin their season in earnest. The side is fully fit ahead of this game and they will be hoping home advantage is enough to get them their first win of the season.

Mainz are another side that haven’t playing particularly well so far despite being able to field a decent starting 11. However, they look like being in big trouble tonight with none of their first team players being match fit and I expect them to struggle given the lack of depth they have.

Despite not winning a game all season so far I have to feel that Basel will get their first one tonight. Mainz will be forced to field reserves at the risk of the their first team and Basel should win comfortably against a side that are likely to need oxygen tents by half time if they don’t make big changes.

FC Basel 3 – 0 1. FSV Mainz 05

Southampton.pngSouthampton - SochauxSochaux.png

The Saints have played well so far this season and sit in a respectable third place at this early stage. They look a decent side at this level and have plenty of depth, but, other than Reus, they lack any real standout superstars. That hasn’t held them back too much so far but the manager may have made his first mistake in playing his first team through the cup games this week and that might cost them points here.

Despite possessing a strong side with plenty of depth, Sochaux have been rubbish so far this season. This is mainly down to poor management from Maddison who looks increasingly out of his depth in this exulted company and it may only be a matter of time before he’s found out as the cross dressing non-footballing wannabe that he is. Another clanger dropped this week means his side come into this game fielding reserves and with the team already performing poorly are not expected to get much out of this game other than a P45 for the dopey manager.

Both managers have made mistakes this week but Southampton have more depth to fall back on, have home advantage and a better manager to boot. Home win.

Southampton 14 – 1 Sochaux

Wigan.png Wigan Athletic - Leyton Orient LeytonOrient.png

Wigan haven’t quite lived up to their favourite tags so far this season but they have been performing at a decent level and are currently fourth. Pluto’s Son has built a good side in a short time and they look like they will be a tough team to beat. They do have some fitness worries ahead of this game but should have enough cover to cope with that.

Orient have been performing above expectations all season and currently find themselves in a respectable fifth place. Elohim has done a very good job with the limited resources he’s had so far, but you have to wonder how long his side can keep turning out good results without some strengthening. Orient also have a few injuries ahead of this game but unlike Wigan don’t have the depth to field quality replacements.

Wigan look far stronger on paper but several teams have underestimated Orient and paid for it (see Sochaux and their hapless manager). That said, I just don’t see how Orient can get a result here and fancy Wigan to win comfortably.

Wigan Athletic 3 – 0 Leyton Orient

Atlanta.png Atalanta - Espanyol Espanyol.png

Atlanta have been dominant so far this season taking maximum points from their opening games and look certain to be the first Division 2 winners on this form. Their side is easily the highest rated at this level but they do have more older players than any of the other sides and this may hinder them in the longer term. For now though they look unstoppable.

Espanyol have also performed well to date and though they don’t look as solid as Atlanta, they do look a good side at this level with a mixture of talented youth and plenty of squad depth. They come into this came fully fit and will be hoping to halt Atlanta's momentum before they get too far ahead.

This looks like a good game on paper as first and second meet in what could decide the overall league winners. At first glance Atlanta look the stronger side, unfortunately at second glance they still look the stronger side. Home Win.

Atalanta 2 - 1 Espanyol

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