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50 Worst Things About Modern Football


Stevie Blade
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Re: 50 Worst Things About Modern Football

Chelsea

The new Manchester United.

12. Manchester City

The new Chelsea. :P:D

16. Internet message boards

My team’s better than yours. No, my team’s better than yours. No, my team’s better than yours. No. my team’s better than yours. Repeat until the world ends.

^Looks familiar, huh? :P

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Re: 50 Worst Things About Modern Football

37. Formations

Yawn. 4-4-1-1, 4-3-2-1, 4-3-3, 4-1-4-1, 4-2-3-1, 3-5-2, 4-2-1-3. Can’t we just knock it up to the big bloke and get the little bloke to bang it in?

25. Club Shops

Empires of tat and greed that make your local Poundstretcher look like Harrods. The club shop at the Emirates Stadium has a special section for Arsenal presents for your dog. The Stamford Bridge megastore sells Chelsea Christmas crackers – £10.43 for a pack of six – and Manchester United have ventured into the toiletries market. Ever fancied washing your hair with Manchester United shampoo and conditioner? Now you can. For £9.99.

These two made me lol =[

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Re: 50 Worst Things About Modern Football

34. Sky Sports News!? Sacrilege!

21. Kaka, I'm shaking my head The Times

Nice to see ITV got mentioned. I still haven't got forgiven them for The Premiership- 28 minutes of football in a 70 minute show! And worst of all, not missing the goal in the FA Cup derby no, much worse...Andy Townshend!!! But not just that! Andy Townshend's Tactic's Truck!!!! The worst idea ever formulated in the brain of a living organism. Also Michael Grade is worse than Hitler and Hitler was quite bad.

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Re: 50 Worst Things About Modern Football

23. 23. Kaka

If he’s not interested in money why do AC Milan have to pay him £173,000 a week?

7. Wembley Stadium

The old Wembley Stadium had it all. Players dreamed of playing there and supporters dreamed of going there - even if the toilets smelled a bit funny. Then some bright spark at the FA thought it would be a good idea to knock down the most famous football stadium in the world and replace it with an £800 million concrete box and a pointless arch. Best stadium in the world? Thanks to Arsenal’s new ground, the new Wembley’s not even the best stadium in North London.

6. Radio phone-in shows

“The next caller is Gary from Guildford. What do you want to get off your chest, Gary?”

“Well, Alan. I think Rafa’s got to go. How can you leave Torres on the bench when you need three points? And as for that ref, he’s got to be the worst ref I’ve ever seen.”

“Were you at the game, Gary?”

“No - SO ANNOYING & SO TRUE :D

4. New stadium

Where would you rather watch a game? Maine Road or the City of Manchester Stadium? The Baseball Ground or Pride Park? Highfield Road or The Ricoh Arena? The Dell or St Mary’s? Filbert Street or The Walkers Stadium? Nice prawn sandwiches, though.

Same with this one!

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Re: 50 Worst Things About Modern Football

47. Squad numbers

Remember the days when the best player was No 10 and goalkeepers were No 1? Not any more. Thanks to someone at the Premier League watching an American football game, players can have any number they want. George Bowyer is Rochdale’s No 33, Ronaldinho is AC Milan’s No 80 and William Gallas is Arsenal’s No 10. Why?

:D :D :D

46. Autobiographies

There comes a time in every player’s life when he decides – or his agent tells him – to write his life story. A couple of interviews with a ghostwriter later and hey presto we have 200 pages of guff and absolutely zero interest from the book-buying public. Wayne Rooney has already written two books. That’s one more than he’s read.

WHAT?! He's actually read a book?!

39. The fat bloke in row P

Go to any football ground anywhere in England and there will be a fat bloke in your row who will a) arrive late B) talk rubbish c) leave five minutes before half time d) come back five minutes after the game has restarted e) talk rubbish f) leave five minutes before the game has finished.

This is so true it's amazing! :P

7. Formations

Yawn. 4-4-1-1, 4-3-2-1, 4-3-3, 4-1-4-1, 4-2-3-1, 3-5-2, 4-2-1-3. Can’t we just knock it up to the big bloke and get the little bloke to bang it in?

HA! :D

21. Points deductions

This is England, not Italy. Deducting points from teams because they failed to comply with the Football League’s insolvency rules or because they paid agents through a holding company has turned the bottom of League Two into a joke. Luton Town started the season on minus 30 points. The team at the bottom of the table should be the worst side in the league, not the club with the idiot accountant

Very very true IMO.

18. Opinions

We live in an “Everyone’s entitled to my opinion” kind of world and when it comes to football, everyone’s got one. Rafa’s God. Rafa’s an idiot. Becks is past it. No, he’s not. How can Kaka be worth £100 million? Yeh, but you’d pay £45 to see him play. Stevie G and Lamps can’t play together. But they’re the best we’ve got. Can’t we all just shut up and watch the game?

So true and so funny!

16. Internet message boards

My team’s better than yours. No, my team’s better than yours. No, my team’s better than yours. No. my team’s better than yours. Repeat until the world ends.

hehe love this one.

btw, my team's better than yours so that's that!

11. Kick-off times

Football used to be played at three o’clock on a Saturday afternoon. Now it’s played when it suits Sky and Setanta

Agreed and I prefer the 3pm Saturday kick off tbh.

“The next caller is Gary from Guildford. What do you want to get off your chest, Gary?”

“Well, Alan. I think Rafa’s got to go. How can you leave Torres on the bench when you need three points? And as for that ref, he’s got to be the worst ref I’ve ever seen.”

“Were you at the game, Gary?”

“No.”

But SAF said it was true so it MUST be true :rolleyes:

All those were exceptionally funny plus the ITV one. :)

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Re: 50 Worst Things About Modern Football

My favourite ones have been posted about 5 times, so here are a few others I don't think have been mentioned that made me LOL:

1. Television

The monster that ate football.

9. The FA Cup

When was the last time a milkman lifted the FA Cup? When was the last time a postman scored at Wembley? There’s nothing romantic about a competition which ends every year with a bloke who earns £100,000 a week lifting a trophy that he doesn’t really give a monkey’s about.

What a load of rubbish!

Most of the things you have listed are things the fans enjoy.

Next week you'll probably publish '50 reasons why English football is so close to our hearts' and just copy this list

Daniel Kemp, London, Uk

(Oh wait, sorry, that's a comment!)

21. Points deductions

This is England, not Italy. Deducting points from teams because they failed to comply with the Football League’s insolvency rules or because they paid agents through a holding company has turned the bottom of League Two into a joke. Luton Town started the season on minus 30 points. The team at the bottom of the table should be the worst side in the league, not the club with the idiot accountant.

24. Media training

All Premier League players and managers are given media training to make sure that they never say anything remotely interesting when someone puts a microphone in front of them. Now you know why they’re taking one game at a time, why they didn’t see their captain punch one of his team-mates, why they haven’t thrown in the towel yet and why everything is going to be terrific.

26. The fourth official

Pointless – like Luton Town until last Saturday.

27. Hi-tech dugouts

Minutes from Manchester United board meeting May 2007: Sir Alex Ferguson requested that the board sanction the removal of the plastic seats in the home and away dugouts at Old Trafford. The manager wants them replaced with leather racing car seats like the ones they have in Porsches and Ferraris. Sir Bobby said that was ridiculous. Sir Alex told Sir Bobby to shut up.

29. Electronic pitchside advertising boards

Next time you go to Old Trafford make sure you take some sunglasses, otherwise you’ll be blinded by the light from the adverts on the TV screens wrapped around the pitch. A word of advice for the skinny latte-sipping Soho adman who came up with this idea: We can’t afford a new Audi. We’re here for the football and the beer

31. Official statements

Did Robinho really say, “I am committed to helping Manchester City become the force the owners assured me they would become”? Maybe one of his agents typed it into his Blackberry. Robinho doesn’t know what “committed” or “assured” mean because he doesn’t speak English.

34. trainline.com

If you fancy following your team around the country by public transport, don’t bother with one of the worst websites in the world. Try telling it you want a train from Manchester to London on Saturday night - journey time 2 hours 30 minutes. No problem. Get the 21:06 to Birmingham New Street. Then jump on 22:53 to Northampton. Then hop on the 04:58 bus to Leighton Buzzard. Then hop on the 06.44 bus to London. With any luck you’ll be in Euston at 8 o’clock on Sunday morning – journey time 11 hours.

40. Gloves

This is England, not Siberia. Your hands will warm up if you run around for five minutes.

48. Transfer windows

Imagine if you could only do your shopping twice a year - once in January and then in June, July and August. What would happen? You’d have a fridge full of beer and you’d run out of toilet paper. It wouldn’t work in real life and it doesn’t work in football

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Re: 50 Worst Things About Modern Football

two more:

- the 'fan' who posts all sorts of insults about cities that their rivals play in - the only problem with this 'fan' is that they have never been anywhere near the city of the team that they support (or the city of the team who they dislike) so they feel the need to recite slurs on messageboards that they have no idea is true or not but it makes them feel more like a true 'fan' because they know all the insults that the proper fans know

- the daytrippers - only really an occurence at the bigger clubs in the league but these people, quite often a family of at least 4 all go to the game, they call a steward over when a chant has a swear word in it (even though they aren't in the 'family' sections) and they fill up the aisle with their shopping bags from the club store where they have just spent a good few hundred pounds - can't they save the shoppping until after the game, they are open after the game!!

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