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Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy]

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I think I will do this and hopefully this will help some people to feel better after a bad day and just have few laughs (I wanted to put this in general football, but I think this place is more suitable). I will mainly concentrate on football , but will add other stuff as well. I am planning to add anythings , that are funny : funny videos, audios, pictures, articles (those, that I've written myself and those, that were written by others), etc.

Lets add some for debut ;)

1. Cats make mistakes as well (or miscounts, whatever you call them)


Try http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82xj_RzGcPQ , if link doesn't work

2. I don't know how many of you heard about Flight of the Conchords (FotC), but I absolutelly love them. This is just 1 of their videos, but 1 of my fav



, if link doesn't work

(feel free to ask for more)

3. Portugal in training



, if link doesn't work

4. Possibly best ever commercial made for cars



, if link doesn't work

5. Superb commercial for English language



, if link doesn't work

Feel free to comment and most important - to laugh ;)

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Re: Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy]

Re: Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy] Don't know if many people know of a sketch show from 2 or 3 years ago called "Man Stroke Woman". I loved it & reckon its very under-rated so i thought

Re: Tom's comedy corner

I'll 2 more. These 2 are prolly the best comedy articles from goal.com

Brazilian midfielder Emerson has launched an angry attack on coach Carlo Ancelotti for substituting him during Milan’s 4-2 defeat against Juventus, and says that the Rossoneri would have won if he had stayed on the pitch…

Milan were comprehensively beaten at the Stadio Olimpico in the weekend’s big game in Serie A, going down 4-2, and thus falling nine points behind league leaders Inter.

With Juventus winning 3-1 at half time, Diavolo coach Carlo Ancelotti opted to replace Emerson, introducing Ukrainian forward Andriy Shevchenko.

The Brazilian has now issued an angry attack against Ancelotti, and claims that Milan would have won the match had he stayed on the pitch.

“Ancelotti lost us the game!,” roared a furious Emerson.

“What on Earth was he thinking taking me off? You don’t take off your best player, and midfield general, when you are trying to get back into the game.

“Everyone knows that, due to my speed and excellent fitness levels, that I get better as the game wears on. What did Carlo expect Shevchenko to do? He is an old man, who is slow, can’t run, and is finished!

“If I had stayed on the pitch, we would have won. I am very disappointed!”

Earlier this week, Milan were rocked by the news that influential midfielder Rino Gattuso had suffered a serious knee injury, which will probably rule him out for the rest of the season.

This was a huge blow as Ringhio had undoubtedly been his team’s best player this term. With Gattuso sidelined, it was questioned who would fill the void, but Emerson insists that he is the man.

“I have a message to all depressed Milan fans,” declared the former Roma man. “’Puma’ is here to save you.

“If I play every game between now and the end of the season, I guarantee you that the Rossoneri will be the champions of Italy."

Milan fans did not appear to agree with Emerson’s assessment however. As the 32-year-old left the Olimpico, he had five walking sticks thrown at him by angry supporters, who shouted, “Retire you granddad!”

The Spanish under-12 side stands on the brink of qualification for their youth World Cup, but in order to ensure that they will reach the final tournament, Bojan Krkic has been summoned to see them past their final test...

Despite his young age, Bojan Krkic is a fully-fledged Spanish international. However, for the time being he has been compelled to drop back down to youth levels.

That is because he's needed by the Spanish U-12s, who must score at least three goals against Finland in their next match to reach the youth World Cup.

With star striker José Pequeño unable to take part due to detention, Bojan has thus been ordered to step back down to the "Red Lads" by senior boss Vicente del Bosque.

"I'm happy to perform my duty for my country," said Bojan as he signed an autograph for his team captain.

"Of course it's disappointing not to be a member of the full squad, but so long as I'm eligible for the inferior categories I will do my best."

Despite his frustration at being unable to join Andrés Iniesta and Xavi Hernández on "La Furia Roja's" journey to Estonia for a World Cup qualifier, Bojan nonetheless expressed his pleasure at some aspects of his U-12 call-up.

"The bonus structure is good: if we win we get taken out for pizza," he revealed.

"Plus, even if we don't manage to qualify, there'll be Chupa Chups for all of us. Even those who sat on the bench."

U-12 coach Javi Fernández Díaz was overjoyed to have Bojan in his squad, but denied that his having to call up the Catalan-born ace was a sign that both his side and the senior team lacked depth.

"It's simply not true that we're nothing without Bojan," he said. "We have Juan Mata, too, and Sergio Asenjo would have been here but his mum wasn't around to give him a lift to training.

"And Del Bosque has some good choices of his own, remember. Mista and Javi Portillo are both still around, aren't they?"

Bojan is thought to be in the frame to start alone up front, although he faces a late fitness test after suffering a "Chinese Burn" from an angry teammate whose seat on the bus he accidentally took.

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Re: Tom's comedy corner

I've found an actually a pretty awesome website : www.todaysbigfail.com

You can find some really funny one's there ;)

Their few best are (IMO) this one :

1. I've seen a lot of illogical things in my life, but this is illogical even if you try to look at it illogicaly :D - http://www.todaysbigfail.com/view/20080707

2. Not all of the magicians should perform in front of camera ;) - http://www.todaysbigfail.com/view/20090304

3. OUCH - http://www.todaysbigfail.com/view/20090321

4. Classic: How Not To Release a Leopard (the title should say everything) - http://www.todaysbigfail.com/view/20080819

5. Even dogs have nightmares - http://www.todaysbigfail.com/view/20090319

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Re: Tom's comedy corner

Today's update :

Antonio Cassano Slams Marcello Lippi & Simone Pepe

'Talentino' has reacted angrily to Lippi’s decision to leave him out of his Italy squad, and has poured scorn on the much-maligned Pepe.

Marcello Lippi today named his Italy squad for the World Cup qualifiers against Montenegro and the Republic of Ireland, and the big news was that Antonio Cassano had again been snubbed.

The Sampdoria star has been in stunning form all season long, but, since the turn of the year in particular, he has been unplayable at times. Talentino has struck up a telepathic partnership with January newboy Giampaolo Pazzini, and the pair single-handedly defeated both Milan and Inter in recent weeks.

Cassano and Lippi have never seen eye-to-eye, but it was thought that the 26-year-old's irrepressible form would make it impossible for the coach to turn him down yet again.

This latest cold-shoulder has led to reports that Cassano will never play for Italy again while Lippi is in charge.

When asked if he thought this to be the case, Fantantonio replied, “I could score 50 goals a season with one arm tied behind my back, have 40 assists, and win the Ballon d’Or, and Lippi still wouldn’t pick me.

“I don’t know what his problem is. I have always been sincere and polite to him, except for one time when he cut me up at a roundabout in Florence, and I told him where to go.

“But that was a few years ago, and I didn’t know it was Lippi in the other car. It was all cleared up afterwards.”

Cassano reserved his strongest words for Udinese winger Simone Pepe, who kept his place in the squad despite some dire performances for both club-and-country.

“I have never liked pepper. I once went to have a pizza in Naples, and the chef sprinkled pepper all over it, completely ruining it. I told him that if he didn’t go and make me another pizza immediately, I would smash the plate over his head.

“I don’t like pepper on the dinner table, and I certainly do not like Pepe on the pitch either.

“Lippi says that this guy is a great dribbler down the wing, who beats opponents for fun. Man, Pepe couldn’t even tie up his own shoelaces.

“When I was at Roma with Pepe, he was struggling to get in the reserves. He used to shine my football boots, and I would send him down to the shop to get me snacks.

“I am going to laugh when Italy play against Ireland, and Pepe makes Kevin Kilbane look like a peak Paolo Maldini.”

Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!

AC Milan midfielder Emerson has confessed that he is a lot older than was previously thought. The Brazilian has admitted that he robbed a grocery store in Rio de Janeiro back in 1950 when he was just 12-years-old.

Back in his prime Emerson was widely regarded as one of the best holding midfielders in world football, but in recent years his decline in form and fitness has been rapid. The Brazilian struggled during his one season at Real Madrid in 2006/07, while he has become something of a laughing stock since joining Milan last year.

Emerson is registered with the Italian league as being just 32-years-of-age, but his physical appearance and pedestrian play has suggested that he is a lot older than this.

Until now the ex-Roma man has always shrugged off claims about his age. Only a week ago, Emerson stated: “These are vicious and baseless rumours, and the next person who tries to say I am older than I am will have my fists to answer for.”

Over the weekend though, new evidence came to the fore that appeared to shed more light on Emerson’s real age. Archive footage of Brazil’s infamous 1950 World Cup final defeat to Uruguay was released for a new documentary. After the game at the Maracana in Rio, a 12-year-old boy, up-in-arms at his country’s tragic loss, is filmed smashing up a local groceries’ shop window before breaking in and looting the place for food. The boy had an uncanny resemblance to Emerson, and 58 years later he has now confessed that it was indeed he who was being filmed.

“For almost 60 years I have lived with the guilt of this shameful act, and it is something that has been eating me up inside,” the anchor man said after Milan’s 2-1 friendly defeat to FK Tirana last night.

“Now it is time to come clean. I confess that I was the person who vandalised that store before stealing the eggs, fruit, and Dubble Bubble.

“I am ashamed at what I did, and nothing I say now can ever make up for it, but I was just a young boy and didn’t know what I was doing. I was only 12, and I was devastated after Brazil lost. I saw a Brazil flag in the shop window, and that is when I snapped.”

Emerson’s confession means that it can now be deduced that he is in fact 70-years-old, and not 32.

One would have assumed that this stunning revelation would have implications on his Milan career, however Rossoneri vice president Adriano Galliani has insisted that Emerson will be staying at the club, and that he may even be handed a new contract.

“Emerson is 70? I have said many times that age is irrelevant,” ‘Uncle Fester’ declared this morning.

“Just think how much experience Emerson has that can be passed onto our younger players like Paolo Maldini and Giuseppe Favalli. He will be staying, and in fact I am thinking of offering him a new deal. He is an example to us all.”

The owner of the grocery store, who had to close his shop a year later due to his economic losses, has also been interviewed, but he insists that he forgives Emerson for what he did.

Marcos Havelange, 100, told Globoesporta: “For 58 years I have been in darkness as to who was responsible. I am pleased to finally find out.

“Emerson may have forced me to close down my business and go bankrupt, but I forgive him.”

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Re: Tom's comedy corner

Aaawww yeah.. Update time! Jon Lajoie - man of the day!

1. Commercial for rapist glasses


If the link doesn't work, try

2. Commercial for pedophile beards (expansion of rapist glasses)


If the link doesn't work, try

3. Everyday Normal Crew


If the link doesn't work, try

4. Commercial for giving a f***


If the link doesn't work, try

5. Brent Horst: Politician


If the link doesn't work, try

Enjoy guys ;)

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Re: Tom's comedy corner

Not being funny mate, but you do know how to embed youtube videos into posts don't you? I only ask as none of your videos that you have embedded seem to work. I believe BenReado did a very helpful thread a while back to show people how to do it.

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Re: Tom's comedy corner

Ahhh ' date=' so that's why it didn't work :P Thank you very much for the help

Ok, I've updated and now you can see all the videos[/quote']

No problem at all my friend, keep the good work coming. :)

You might want to edit out some of the ones with the swears before the mods get there though!

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Re: Tom's comedy corner

Did anyone check out that blog ?

www.mrsatire.blogspot.com' date=' if anyone wants a look.[/quote']

I did ;) it was pretty neat

Sorry everyone, but I've been pretty busy, so I've couldn't update. Let's change that (at least for now)

Update : 1) changes in the White House - http://pics.blameitonthevoices.com/032009/change_at_the_White_House.jpg

(I suggest you trying out that site more, It has a lot of good stuff ( www.blameitonthevoices.com ))

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Re: Tom's comedy corner


Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.

If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.

If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.

If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.

He makes $7,415/hour more than minimum wage.

If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.

If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $200 every second.

He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.

He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100-meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.

This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined.

Amazing isn't it?


If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 500 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has at this very moment.

Game over. Nerd wins.




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