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Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy]


Tom Erdenay

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Re: Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy]

Sorry for not posting for such a long time, but I think I've got few superb ones :

A great song sang the way it was suppose to be sang :

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Once you come to Texas, you've got to learn the culture and it's ways to solve the problems :

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I know I've wondered about this (and probably you did too), what would happen if 2 psychiatrists would analyze each other :

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Oh little girl!..

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Jeeves and Wooster!

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Once again, the American Culture :

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And for desert - George Carlin :

acLW1vFO-2Q

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Guest Mr. Razzcocks

Re: Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy]

A high-profile Swiss football referee has been given a three-match ban for insulting fans.

Massimo Busacca was pictured waving his middle finger at crowds during a match between FC Baden and Young Boys.

He had asked for a warning to be played over the public address system after Baden supporters ran onto the pitch.

Massimo+Busacca.jpg

Mr Busacca said he was provoked by the subsequent "verbal abuse" he received from the fans, but he apologised for his "unsporting gesture". "I lost my cool," he said in a statement.

Mr Busacca was in charge at last season's Champions League final between Barcelona and Manchester United and is lined up to referee World Cup matches in South Africa in 2010.

The Swiss football association said he was the "best Swiss referee" but that the suspension was to come into force immediately.

Hector Castro, 82, of Hasbrouck Heights, New Jersey allegedly masturbated while pressing himself up against female customers in a Wal-Mart store.

According to police, Castro- a former sex offender - was arrested and charged with lewdness on Sunday at the Wal-Mart in Secaucus.

hectorcastro.jpg

Police requested security video from the store check-out line.

Castro served prison time from July 2003-March 2005 on sex assault charges.

Two Italian girls were threatened with legal action by supermarket giant Tesco — for squeezing a muffin in its Exeter city centre store. The two 17-year-olds were left shocked and distressed after being stopped by security staff outside Tesco Metro in High Street. They were escorted back inside, led down to a basement room where they were questioned and told they had committed a “food contamination” offence. Staff said they had been caught red-handed on CCTV cameras squeezing a muffin. The teenagers, on an English language study course, selected a muffin using their hands rather than the tongs provided. They were asked to return to the store after paying for one muffin.

The store’s actions have brought a heated response from the host family looking after the visitors. Colin Gott, of Exeter, who was a host for the Italians, said he was amazed at what he described as an overreaction by security staff. He said: “What is going on? It’s ludicrous and an absolute farce, especially at a time when we are trying to promote Exeter and encourage visitors.

muffins.jpg

“The girls asked why they were being taken but were given no explanation until they reached some downstairs room and eventually were told that they had committed an offence, namely food contamination. They were told that they would be given a fine which would be sent to them in Italy. They had to produce their national identity cards — but the security guard couldn’t read Italian — were given a formal pre-printed advice of potential criminal action, a recommendation that they seek legal advice and the number of a London lawyer. One of the girls asked to telephone her teacher but was refused. Eventually she managed to call her group leader and they were released.”

A Tesco spokeswoman said its CCTV footage showed two girls squeezing two of three muffins — damaging them — before buying the third. She said: “They were stopped outside the shop, taken back in and told what they had done was wrong. Because of language difficulties we contacted the teacher and she was invited to come to the store to see the CCTV.”

A married dentist pranced around in a leopard-print thong shouting 'get a load of that' and had sex with a nurse at his surgery, a hearing was told. Anthony Barton, 36, developed a pattern of `sexually motivated behaviour' towards four dental nurses at the dental practice where he worked in Wigan over eight years, it was said.

He regularly groped their bottoms and asked them inappropriate questions, the General Dental Council heard. And, it was told, he cavorted with one nurse - while other members of staff were upstairs. Barton faces 17 charges in relation to his conduct towards the nurses from 2000 to last year.

Lydia Barnfather, for the GDC, said: “The conduct towards these dental nurses, the council says, shows a pattern of behaviour sexually motivated to transgress both the verbal and physical boundaries and standards to be expected of an individual in his professional position.”

Dr+Anthony+Barton.jpg

Dental nurse Ms A claims Mr Barton would pull at her knickers as she bent over and try to undo her bra through her tunic. She said Mr Barton then began a consensual affair with a dental nurse Ms B.

Another dental nurse, Ms D, once walked in on the couple in a ‘compromising position’, it was said. Barton is also alleged to have inappropriately touched another dental nurse, Ms C. The allegations finally came to light when Ms D complained.

Mr Barton, of Porch House Farm, Runcorn Road, Higher Walton, Warrington, denies misconduct and that his fitness to practise is impaired. He faces being struck off if he is found guilty.

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Re: Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy]

If you've about an hour and a half to spare, you could do a lot worse than watch this lot back to back, I've got the DVD, and it's immense! :D

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Ko-2xw3MSM8

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mCLt5a_OEEM

s9ammtU6O0U

NIH3SrAWzJE

DOvYdjlH3XA

nMcZLV6hsJk

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Enjoy :)

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Re: Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy]

Research confirms that drinking gives you the same benefits yoga does!

Savasana

Position of total relaxation.

yogasavasana.jpg

Setu Bandha Sarvangasana

This position calms the brain and heals tired legs.

yogabalasana.jpg

Marjayasana

Position stimulates the midrift area and the spinal column.

yogasetu.jpg

Halasana

Excellent for back pain and insomnia.

yogamarja.jpg

Dolphin

Excellent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms.

yogahalasana.jpg

Salambhasana

Great excersice to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms.

yogadolphin.jpg

Ananda Balasana

This position is great for massaging the hip area.

yogasalam.jpg

Malasana

This position, for ankles and back muscles.

yogaananda.jpg

Pigeon

Tones the body, and builds flexibility and helps get rid of 'stress'.

yogamalasana.jpg

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Re: Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy]

Research confirms that drinking gives you the same benefits yoga does!

Savasana

Position of total relaxation.

yogasavasana.jpg

Setu Bandha Sarvangasana

This position calms the brain and heals tired legs.

yogabalasana.jpg

Marjayasana

Position stimulates the midrift area and the spinal column.

yogasetu.jpg

Halasana

Excellent for back pain and insomnia.

yogamarja.jpg

Dolphin

Excellent for the shoulder area' date=' thorax, legs, and arms.

[img']http://i616.photobucket.com/albums/tt243/bashimillar/yogahalasana.jpg[/img]

Salambhasana

Great excersice to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms.

yogadolphin.jpg

Ananda Balasana

This position is great for massaging the hip area.

yogasalam.jpg

Malasana

This position, for ankles and back muscles.

yogaananda.jpg

Pigeon

Tones the body, and builds flexibility and helps get rid of 'stress'.

yogamalasana.jpg

Great one! I still can't stop laughing! Superb work, mate :)

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Re: Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy]

Beauty Parlor:

A place where women curl up and dye

Cannibal:

Someone who is fed up with people

Dust:

Mud with the juice squeezed out

Egotist:

Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation

Gossip:

A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage

Handkerchief:

Cold storage

Inflation:

Cutting money in half without damaging the paper

Raisin:

Grape with a sunburn

Tomorrow:

One of the greatest labor saving devices of today

Mosquito:

An insect that makes you like flies better

Yawn:

An honest opinion openly expressed

Secret:

Something you tell to one person at a time

found a few of them funny don't know about you :P

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Re: Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy]

Mark Wootton is a very underestimated talent. He was unbelievable in the series "My New Best Friend", never straying out of character. If you don't know about it seek it out on Youtube. Really liked his sketch show "Marc Wootton Exposed" too. The Ian Jackson character is great, just love that dark sense of humour!

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And how could i forget Shirley Ghostman?

DxOOxoGE6kQ

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Guest ExiledScotInTheUSA

Re: Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy]

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I love this video, sorry if I posted it before but it's brilliant. Who says we Scots can't laugh at ourselves :P

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Re: Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy]

Arnie's not so diplomatic message

Arnold Schwarzenegger Letter Tells it Like it is

by Elizabeth Fairview | October 28th, 2009

arnoldletter.png

The Governator of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, may have crossed political lines with a personal vendetta he has against an assemblyman. Earlier this month, Schwarzenegger showed up at a San Francisco Democratic Party fundraiser, where he was booed by Democrats who were angry about spending cuts. One attendee, Assemblyman Tom Ammiano, yelled “You lie!” at Schwarzenegger, then stormed out shouting expletives. Only four days later, Bill 1176 - a bill sponsored by Ammiano - wound up in front of the Govenator. Bill 1176 would have expanded the financing powers of the Port of San Francisco - a bill that probably would have passed if it hadn't been for Ammiano's little outburst. Thus, Arnie vetoed the bill, and sent the above letter.

We’re thiking Arnie may have been trying to send Ammiano a message however, Arnie’s people are saying that the letter contained no hidden meaning.

Ammiano said he was unaware of the hidden message until a publication, Bay Guardian, pointed it out.

“It was a little bit of shock and awe,” he said, adding: “I thought it was pretty funny.”

California is crumbling around Schwarzenegger and he is locked in his office for 12 hours, working tirelessly on this awesome letter.

“Stop knocking, Marriaahh! I have important work to do for Kaleefornia!!!”

Source

http://beat.bodoglife.com/entertainment/arnold-schwarzenegger-letter-tells-it-like-it-is-53775.html

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Re: Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy]

Me and my mate are working on a 'Sportswipe' video' date=' a spoof of Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe. Currently drawing up a list for the The Ten 'most annoying' People in Sport. Frequent viewers will know what I mean by that.[/quote']

Screenwipe's ace! :P

The one on Gladiators is class:

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Re: Tom's Comedy Corner [All Things Comedy]

I'm posting this in a few different places so sorry if you come across it more than once - just making sure all that appreciate it will get to see it - I haven't lauged as much in ages! :D

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[/quote

Best you tube clip ive seen in a long time

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