Jump to content



Recommended Posts

LOL, this is quite possibly my most favourite joke ever,

it had me chuckling for weeks. by the type of jokes ive been saying

im guessing people know my sort of humour lol..


A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? ' 'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says 'I'm sorry, I'm going to have to put him down...' 'What?!?!? Because he's cross-eyed? ' 'No, because he's too heavy..'


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mad Mary is screwing round the lunatic asylum in her wheelchair.

Gets round a corner and sees Big Jack standing there.

"See your driving licence Mary?" he asks.

"Have'nt got one" Mary replies and flies off round the next corner.

Here she sees Big John.

"See your Insurance details Mary?"

"Have'nt got em on me" she replies and shoots off round the next corner.

There she sees Big Jim, with his pants round his ankles and a massive erection.

"Oh no" she shouts.

"Not the breathaliser again"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

lol sped...

that made me chuckle.

what about this one.


I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said

'Sorry...I careered off the road.'

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...