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speddiez
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Guest Daragh

Re: Jokes

And which he later admitted it was okay for a grown man to sleep in the same bed as children' date=' which he did.....[/quote']

But it doesn't take away the fact that its disgusting to joke about someones death.

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Guest Toggs

Re: Jokes

The first set he settled out of court for $18 million' date=' so why settle if you've done nothing wrong?[/quote']

Exactly, couldn't agree more. Less people like him around is for the better. Would you leave your child in his company?

They were jokes & thats all I intended them too be. Obviously people are a little too uptight just too take a light-hearted joke.

Not MJ's fault he's like the way he is, but that doesn't change the fact he was 'seriously' messed up. You dont pay 18 Million just because you have had enough of the allegations. :rolleyes:

Great signer, but Sick person, and I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks on my opinion. :) And saying I was happy he was dead was a slight exxageration :confused:

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Re: Jokes

He Setteled because his advisor told him to settle,

if you were that boy{s} parent{s} would you wnt the person that done something like that to your child to be walking the streets?

No you wouldn't, they just wanted the money & then everyone jumped on the bandwagon.

& stop getting upset because ofa few jokes, Maybe if someone you knew personly had died or a member of the forum, i might understand

But chill out...

TBH I have no idea what he did or dien't do to any children, what he addmited to doing was highly inapropate but TBH if he had done anything he was accused of to that many kids they would have been some sort of evidence to convict him.

All the time people get proved not gulity in court but still get tarnished with it for the rest of thier lives, anyone of us could end up in court all it takes it for a accusastion to be made.

Evertime i hear jackos name tough i will asscociate him with those aligations before his music,

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest ExiledScotInTheUSA

Re: Jokes

Just thought I'd add a few "stoopid" jokes to break the monotony of a Thurday afternoon :P

Did you hear about the two TV antennas that got married?

The wedding was rubbish but the reception was brilliant. :P

A young guy called the phone directories and asked for a Mary Smith, Phoenix Arizona, the operator replied, " there are multiple Mary Smith's in Phoenix, do you have a street name?"

"Well, most folks call me The Ice Dude"

**** Cheney walks into the oval office and hears President Bush whooping and a hollering.

"What's the matter Mr President?" asked the Vice President.

"Nothing at all, I've just finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time, that's why I'm so happy."

"How long did it take Mr President?"

"Well, it says on the box, 3 to 5 years but hey, I did it in a month. :D

Two church going women were talking on the sidewalk when this cowboy rode into town, tied up his horse outside the saloon, walked around the back of the horse and lifted its tail and kissed it right smack on its rectum.

"Why did you do that you disgusting man?'

"Well ladies, I got chapped lips and this stops me from licking 'em."

Two guys in the supermarket bang their trolley's into each other.

"Hey man, I'm sorry, I was looking for my wife."

"That's a coincidence, I'm looking for my wife too. What's your wife look like?"

"Well, she's tall with long blonde hair and a body to die for. What's your wife look like?'

"Never mind her, let's look for yours."

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Re: Jokes

Just thought I'd add a few "stoopid" jokes to break the monotony of a Thurday afternoon :P

Did you hear about the two TV antennas that got married?

The wedding was rubbish but the reception was brilliant. :P

A young guy called the phone directories and asked for a Mary Smith' date=' Phoenix Arizona, the operator replied, " there are multiple Mary Smith's in Phoenix, do you have a street name?"

"Well, most folks call me The Ice Dude"

**** Cheney walks into the oval office and hears President Bush whooping and a hollering.

"What's the matter Mr President?" asked the Vice President.

"Nothing at all, I've just finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time, that's why I'm so happy."

"How long did it take Mr President?"

"Well, it says on the box, 3 to 5 years but hey, I did it in a month. :D

Two church going women were talking on the sidewalk when this cowboy rode into town, tied up his horse outside the saloon, walked around the back of the horse and lifted its tail and kissed it right smack on its rectum.

"Why did you do that you disgusting man?'

"Well ladies, I got chapped lips and this stops me from licking 'em."

Two guys in the supermarket bang their trolley's into each other.

"Hey man, I'm sorry, I was looking for my wife."

"That's a coincidence, I'm looking for my wife too. What's your wife look like?"

"Well, she's tall with long blonde hair and a body to die for. What's your wife look like?'

"Never mind her, let's look for yours."[/quote']

Some good 'uns, I particularly like the Bush one :D

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Guest ExiledScotInTheUSA

Re: Jokes

Some good 'uns' date=' I particularly like the Bush one :D[/quote']

It's hard finding good jokes that aren't dirty or abusive, I too, liked the Bush one and the shopper's talking about their wives. :D

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Guest ExiledScotInTheUSA

Re: Jokes

It must be even harder if you have to search your Scottish mind! :D

My mind is universal Bob, I drift between genius and madness, a bit like yourself :P, as you are aware, we Scots invented all things relevant for the 20th century and as we are a nation of inventors, it comes easy for us to delve into the abyss or the sublime, we are comfortable in either skin B), btw, well done with your Everton side being promoted, look forward to doing battle with your intoxicating mind :D

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Re: Jokes

My mind is universal Bob' date=' I drift between genius and madness, a bit like yourself :P, as you are aware, we Scots invented all things relevant for the 20th century and as we are a nation of inventors, it comes easy for us to delve into the abyss or the sublime, we are comfortable in either skin B), btw, well done with your Everton side being promoted, look forward to doing battle with your intoxicating mind :D[/quote']

Correction, my intoxicated mind :P

Whilst Scotland are a nation of inventors (I can't blame you, there's nothing to do and the weather is usually too grim for a kick about :D) England is a nation of exploiters and thieves. As a Scouser, I solemnly swear to pillage other teams and steal the tactics of whoever is performing best in the league :D

Nice to have you back Dave :)

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Re: Jokes

Correction' date=' my intoxicated mind :P

Whilst Scotland are a nation of inventors (I can't blame you, there's nothing to do and the weather is usually too grim for a kick about :D) England is a nation of exploiters and thieves. As a Scouser, I solemnly swear to pillage other teams a[b']nd steal the tactics of whoever is performing best in the league[/b] :D

Nice to have you back Dave :)

Story of my life :(

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Guest ExiledScotInTheUSA

Re: Jokes

Correction' date=' my intoxicated mind :P

Whilst Scotland are a nation of inventors (I can't blame you, there's nothing to do and the weather is usually too grim for a kick about :D) England is a nation of exploiters and thieves. As a Scouser, I solemnly swear to pillage other teams and steal the tactics of whoever is performing best in the league :D

Nice to have you back Dave :)[/quote']

Thank you Bob, I missed our little discussions it has to be said. I'm not one for holding a grudge.......for too long :D, so I have come back into the fold. I will mainly contribute to threads that I am attached to, but you know us Scots Bob, can't keep our mouth shut for too long without upsetting someone :P

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Re: Jokes

Thank you Bob' date=' I missed our little discussions it has to be said. I'm not one for holding a grudge.......for too long :D, so I have come back into the fold. I will mainly contribute to threads that I attached to, but you know us Scots Bob, [b']can't keep our mouth shut for too long without upsetting someone[/b] :P

Ah but usually the Scots just tell people something we all know and think but fear to say ;)

Such is the courage gained from drink :P

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Guest ExiledScotInTheUSA

Re: Jokes

Ah but usually the Scots just tell people something we all know and think but fear to say ;)

Such is the courage gained from drink :P

Are you saying that we Scots are incapable of original thoughts Bob? I agree that we don't suffer fools gladly, oops, I better get outta this forum then :D

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Re: Jokes

That's a true scouser.. Police on his doorstep..Yet he refuses to go to court.

That's my joke :)

Ah you've made a few mistakes:

  1. A true Scouser wouldn't tell him to move his van' date=' he'd rob it.
    [*']A true Scouser takes things like a man.
  2. A true Scouser wouldn't...get...caught.

:D

Jokes aside, its idiots like him that make Scousers look bad and give us an undue reputation. I joke about us being robbers but I'm being ironic, in truth Liverpool is actually a lot better than some cities. I remember when Keegan (of all people :rolleyes:) started saying that he was worried his car would be stolen in Liverpool when Manchester, for example, the place he lived, had far worse rates of car crime :rolleyes:

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Re: Jokes

Are you saying that we Scots are incapable of original thoughts Bob? I agree that we don't suffer fools gladly' date=' oops, I better get outta this forum then :D[/quote']

Nah, I'm just pointing out the Scots have an honesty and courage which is admirable (obviously a bit of a generalisation), even if half the time it is unwanted and just makes things worse!! :P

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Guest ExiledScotInTheUSA

Re: Jokes

Was gonna add this to Tom's comedy thread but as you are on the subject of Scotland.... (Bob - apologies if this was a private conversation!)

AM-DtAXBUpI

Lmao :D, another gem chipolopolo:p

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