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Bad joke competition!!!


Sky Blue Lee
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Guest msissio

Re: Bad joke competition!!!

Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"

First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue."

The teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be grey, or orange..."

Second little boy says..."Trees are definitely green"

The teacher replies, "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."

Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:

"Does a faart have lumps?"

The teacher looks horrified and says..."

Johnny! Of course not!!!"

"OK...then I DEFINITELY t my pants..."

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Guest msissio

Re: Bad joke competition!!!

Little Johnny and his dad went shopping at the grocery store. Walking down an aisle, Johnny asked his dad if he could have a box of Lucky Charms.

His dad said," Well, Johnny, can you touch your a-hole with your dik?"

Johnny said, "No!!"

Johnny's dad said, "Well, there's your answer."

Later, Johnny asked if he could have Spagettios.

His dad, again, said, "Can you touch your a-hole with your dik?"

Johnny said,"No!!"

His dad said, "Well, there's your answer."

At the end of the shopping trip, Johnny's dad felt bad about how he had talked to Johnny, so he bought him an instant lottery ticket.

Johnny scratched the ticket and found that he won $1,000!!!

His dad said,"Hey, Johnny, you gonna share the money with your old man?"

Johnny asked,"Dad, can you touch your a-hole with your dik?"

Johnny's dad said,"As a matter of fact, I can!"

Johnny said,"GOOD, GO fukc YOURSELF!!"

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Guest msissio

Re: Bad joke competition!!!

A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was drinking an extremely large glass of milk.

The young man said "I took the liberty of milking your cow this morning!" He then continues and says " it took me a while to get her started up. She must be old and stubbly."

The uncle says with a confused look " Um son we don't have a cow...We have a bull!"

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Re: Bad joke competition!!!

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.

So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.

The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"

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Re: Bad joke competition!!!

This is taken from the comic entitled "To kill a mockingbart." Basically a Simpsons comic.

Bart has burnt the school down and Skinner is talking to Homer. Bart is there also.

Skinner: As you can see, Bart burned down half of the school.

Homer: Bart! What did I tell you about finishing what you start?!

:D :D :D :D

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  • 3 months later...

Re: Bad joke competition!!!

A blonde goes to a farmers market one weekend and buys 50 chickens. She explains she wants to have her own chicken farm.

The following weekend she returns, and buys another 50 chickens. The bloke asks why she's buying more.

"The first batch all died" she said.

"Oh, unlucky" he says, as he prepares the second batch for her.

The following weekend she returns to buy another 50. She explains the last lot died too.

"Thats terrible. Here, have the strongest, healthiest chickens I have" he says.

A week later she comes back, and buys another 50 chickens. The man asks why, and again she explains that they have all died. Confused, the bloke asks her if she needs any advice on running a chicken farm.

"No thanks" she says. "I know where I'm going wrong now- I'm planting them too deep..."

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Guest the plummer

Re: Bad joke competition!!!

A man went in to the video rental shop and said' date=' "hi, can i have batman forever?" the man said, "no, youve got to bring it back tomorrow!"[/quote']

Liked It:D

Not A Bad Joke Or Even A Joke At All.....

Who Put The Ball In The English Net (Diego Diego)

Who Put The Ball In The Enlgish Net

DIEGO MARADONA:D

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Re: Bad joke competition!!!

A blonde goes to a farmers market one weekend and buys 50 chickens. She explains she wants to have her own chicken farm.

The following weekend she returns' date=' and buys another 50 chickens. The bloke asks why she's buying more.

"The first batch all died" she said.

"Oh, unlucky" he says, as he prepares the second batch for her.

The following weekend she returns to buy another 50. She explains the last lot died too.

"Thats terrible. Here, have the strongest, healthiest chickens I have" he says.

A week later she comes back, and buys another 50 chickens. The man asks why, and again she explains that they have all died. Confused, the bloke asks her if she needs any advice on running a chicken farm.

"No thanks" she says. "I know where I'm going wrong now- I'm planting them too deep..."[/quote']

L M A O :D

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Re: Bad joke competition!!!

Liked It:D

Not A Bad Joke Or Even A Joke At All.....

Who Put The Ball In The English Net (Diego Diego)

Who Put The Ball In The Enlgish Net

DIEGO MARADONA:D

NO SILLY IT WAS GARY NEVILLE :P

When was you in the forum without trying to annoy someone mr.greig :rolleyes:

suposed ya noticed but when that goal is scored BORAT is in the ads at the side and behind the goal how appropiate :)

http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=GtF9tl5SLdA&feature=related

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Guest melbguy1

Re: Bad joke competition!!!

Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?

A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Twice. :D

=============================

Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly?

A: So blind people could laugh at them too!

=============================

One of the 7 dwarfs screams out "Arsenal are good enough to win the European Cup."

Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

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