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Bad joke competition!!!

Sky Blue Lee

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Guest ExiledScotInTheUSA

Re: Bad joke competition!!!

Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?

A. A walk. :confused::P

Q. How do you baffle an Irishman?

A. Hand him two shovels and tell him to take his pick :D

What about the two Scotsmen who had a 1 pound bet to see who could stay under the water the longest.....they both drowned.

The Englishman said to the boastful Scot, "Take away your mountains and glens and all your salmon rivers and what have you got?"

"England?" replied the Jock.

Old Sandy was on his death bed and his wife of fifty years was at his side.

"Is there anything I can get you Sandy?" There was no reply.

"Sandy, are you still with us? can I get you anything at all?" she said quietly.

Old Sandy turned his head slowly to his wife, "I wouldn't mind a piece of that boiled ham over on the table," he said weakly. His wife replied, "Away you go, you know I cooked that specially for the funeral."

Q. How do you get rid of an angry Scots crowd?

A. Take up a collection.

Any complaints? asked the prison governor

Aye there is said Sandy, these walls are not built to scale.

An Englishman was lecturing about his travels and talking disparingly about the Scots in Canada and the mixing of the Indian race. "You will find a great number of Scots half breeds and French half breeds up in Canada but you won't find any English half breeds up there" he said boastfully,

a wee Scottish voice from the crowd shouted, "Well, they had to draw the line somewhere"

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Re: Bad joke competition!!!

1. What is height of Laziness?

Adopt a child. icon_lol.gif

2. What is height of Stupidity?

A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door. icon_cry.gificon_cry.gif

3. What is height of Honesty?

A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket. icon_cry.gificon_cry.gif

4. What is height of Suicide?

A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road. icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif

5. What is height of De-hydration?

A cow giving milk powder.

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