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Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)


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Dear SMEL Participants

Welcome to a combination of TCC (Tom's Comedy Corner) and TL (Tom's Library) for SMEL. In this thread through out the time period of several weeks (hopefully) I'll be taking a both serious and satirical view to analyze each team of SMEL barring my own. Please understand that this is a satirical view, so some of the comments may not be the nicest ones and please do not be offended.

Each analysis will include the following:

  • Profile
  • Key Players
  • Young Stars
  • The Weak Link
  • Line-up that I'd Play
  • Celebrity Comparison
  • Tom's Prediction

So now, just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride - it's going to be a rough one.

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Dear SMEL Participants Welcome to a combination of TCC (Tom's Comedy Corner) and TL (Tom's Library) for SMEL. In this thread through out the time period of several weeks (hopefully) I'll be takin

Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA) The Old, The Ugly and The Clumsy Profile: Simon's Wanderers Key Players: Pepe Reina - the experienced Pool' keeper will be one of t

Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA) Two Doctors walk into a bar Profile: Smartdoc's Rapid Eye Movement Key Players: Cesc Fabregas - a heir to Xavi. Need I say more?

Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)

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Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)

The Old, The Ugly and The Clumsy

WanderersBGWCBSQ.gif

Profile: Simon's Wanderers

Key Players:

  • Pepe Reina - the experienced Pool' keeper will be one of the main men in providing success to the Wanderers.
  • Javier Zanetti - the ever blooming player will have to be on his best to help his team to progress.
  • Juan Roman Riquelme - Probably the only player in the whole squad who can provide that spark and be a consistent match winner

Young stars: Yet again we are back to Riquelme and Milito.

The Weak Link: Midfield and lack of pace. Stronger, younger teams may give a hard time to this aging team and key to victory should be exploiting this. Chemistry issues should also be addressed.

Best Line-up

Formation - 4-5-1 (or 4-4-2 Diamond)

Reina

Rat - Milito - Cordoba - Zanetti

Makoun

Babel ----------Joe Cole

Riquelme-----

------Berbatov

Kanoute

Comparison

zap_bolan.jpg

Marc Bolan

Simon, just like Marc Bolan, delivered such promised and had the potential to be one of the best ever, but because of the drugs, both gone down hill. His best years are truly well behind him.

Tom's Prediction

Well, with the right tactics and line-up, I could possibly see Wanderers at Top 8, but I'd guess they'll go out in a round before.

Vitesse-logo-E25173924F-seeklogo.com.gif

Profile: Kazzer's Vitesse

Key Players:

  • Sergio Aguero - Atleti forward will need to find his previous form in order repay the faith put in him.
  • Alexandre Pato - if history goes anything to go by, he will be Vitesee's main threat.
  • Diego Godin - Time will tell if he will adjust in Atletico (assuming the transfer does go through) and if he'll manage to lead Vitesse to glory.

Young stars: Canales and Dzagoev will be ones to watch.

The Weak Link: While the defence looks solid enough, it would have quite a few problems against world class midfielders and strikers (or just very pacey ones). Midfield options are also rather limited.

Best Line-up

Formation - 4-3-3

Eduardo

Assou-Ekotto - Godin - Subotic - Friedrich

Mavuba

Dzagoev ---Fletcher

Aguero - Crouch - Pato

Comparison

megan-fox2.jpg

Megan Fox

Kazzer, is pretty much like Megan Fox - a bit clueless overrated public darling who's career is likely to go downhill.

Tom's Prediction

World class attack, but a bit weak elsewhere. A quite attacking, entertaining football should get a lot of fans, but a good defencive team with 2 DM's should do. An early exit and long bath afterwards.

logo.png

Profile: Nick's Sport Club

Key Players:

  • Yoann Gourcuff - Will need to be in top form if his team wants to have any chances to progress.
  • Diego Forlan - Diego Forlan may be a lot of things, but one thing he knows and does best - puts the ball in the net.
  • Keisuke Honda - Not everyone can buy a Ferrari or McLaren, so a lot of times Honda can be a perfect solution.

Young stars: Alderweireld has the potential to be a world class defender.

The Weak Link: Center defence looks increasingly worrying, but even without that almost any team should still be able to pull of a win, because this team is quite average.

Best Line-up

Formation - 4-3-3

Adler

Escude - Alderweireld - Fanni - Salcido

Gourcuff

Valencia - Boateng - Honda - Barerra

Forlan

Comparison

gary-busey-plastic-surgery.jpg

Gary Busey

I can't do anything to myself, but it just seems as Nick Justice and Gary Busey are the same person. Or, at the very least, it looks like Gary Busey is playing in SMEL.

Tom's Prediction

I'd be surprised to see this team from the 1st round. The only tactics that are suited for this team are parking of Busey and counter-attacks.

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Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)

Dear SMEL Participants

I'll be taking a both serious and satirical view to analyze each team of SMEL barring my own. Please understand that this is a satirical view' date=' so some of the comments may not be the nicest ones and please do not be offended.

[center']Each analysis will include the following:

  • Profile
  • Key Players
  • Young Stars
  • The Weak Link
  • Line-up that I'd Play
  • Celebrity Comparison
  • Tom's Prediction

[/center]

So now, just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride - it's going to be a rough one.

Interesting. Pretty much what we're going to do collectively on a head-to-head basis once the season is underway : make a mockery of the other team ! Pretty wise of you to get an head start, Tom. I can't wait to see to what crumbling star I'm going to be associated with.

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Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)

Two Doctors walk into a bar

Logo_rapid.gif

Profile: Smartdoc's Rapid Eye Movement

Key Players:

  • Cesc Fabregas - a heir to Xavi. Need I say more?
  • John Terry - The former England skipper has had a fair share of troubles recently, but none of that was seen on the pitch. Expect him to take care of any holes left - as usual.
  • Robinho - A lot of hopes may come onto his shoulder. If Rapid is to advance, he will need to become a bit more consistent and not be a complete mood player.

Young stars: Daniel Aleksic and Gabriel Obertan.

The Weak Link: Extremely solid team. Most of the teams will have a hard time breaking down both the defence and midfield and the attack, while extremely inconsistent, could be completely lethal on it's day. However, while I don't doubt Fiorillo's talents, putting the youngster under such pressure is very risky. Good full-backs possibly would be able to close down wings as well.

Best Line-up

Formation - Shifting wide 4-2-2-2

Fiorillo

Motta - Terry - Henrique - Agger

Fabregas - Carrick

Obertan ---------- Elia

Robinho - Adriano

Comparison

lingerie_dr_evil_surgery.jpg

Doctor Evil

While it may not be so obvious at first, the more you think about it, the more you realize that Smartdoc is Doctor Evil. Constant disappearances for all kind of operations (surgeries, I believe, they are called) is not a coincidence.

Tom's Prediction

With the right tactics, definitely a Top 4 material team. Main weapon against this team would be frustrating and tiring them with waves after waves after waves. Injuring Fabregas could also work for your benefit.

Image-190510-1001843-BorussiaDortmund2_oldlogo.png

Profile: Phillip's Borussia

Key Players:

  • Carles Puyol - The ever-green Barcelona skipper doesn't look like stopping. Not much will go past him.
  • Phillip Lahm - One of the best full-backs who's both extremely solid at defence and who can almost destroy his opponents in the attack. Deadly.
  • Yaya Toure - an experienced midfield anchorman will work and work at the defence, but will also be able to contribute to attack if needed.

Young stars: Stock and Sahin.

The Weak Link: Not much will go through this defence and any side will have problems when trying to do that as both the defenders and defencive midfielders will give hell to the opposition. However, up front, while the midfield and the attack is decent, they just don't ooze the class to break down the top defences and might find goals hard to come by.

Best Line-up

Formation - 4-5-1

Frey

Castro - van Buyten - Puyol - Lahm

Rolfes - Yaya Toure

Cazorla - Sahin - Bastos

Gomez

Comparison

drphil.jpg

Doctor Phil

Sure, he's a doctor and, of course, he can speak, but almost any word that comes out of his mouth doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Dr. Phil, just like Phil GT, might be popular with the masses, but any true expert of the field will say that he doesn't have any ideas what the hell he's doing.

Tom's Prediction

Through-out the whole competition, Phil's team probably has the best defence. I can't imagine any side having an easy time with them, but the attack might prove to be the fatal flaw (as long as you take care and close down the left flank and don't let Bastos and Lahm cut inside). Verdict - top 8 or possibly even top 4 material.

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Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)

Interesting. Pretty much what we're going to do collectively on a head-to-head basis once the season is underway : make a mockery of the other team ! Pretty wise of you to get an head start' date=' Tom. I can't wait to see to what crumbling star I'm going to be associated with.[/quote']

I think you're overrating my mental abilities - you'd have to find a smarter guy than me to think about all that ;) While I do point out some of the flaws, I'm also helping those people to see them (if they've didn't knew it already) and giving them to do something about it. Furthermore, almost everything is looked through the light eyes to give a nice read and have some fun.

I'm also quite intrigued as to how people perceive me by what and how I write. It's a little strange :P

Time will come and you'll see ;)

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Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)

Nice read, and you got that line-up spot on basically, just that Sahin won't play as an AM. If anything he'd play as a 2nd DM.

You also identified my weak spot quite well, good thing is, due to the knock-out system the comp will be played in, I can sit back, relax and watch my team hold a 0-0 draw until the penalty shoot-out, where the sheer amount of German players will ensure that my Borussia goes through ;)

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Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)

Can't wait to see my team:D

I think i have a disadvantage here; you guys are going to write thousands of words and i have never even talked with somebody in English:o

I personally don't plan to come even close to that number. As long as my strengths and team strategy are clear, I see no need to go crazy.

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Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)

This is a really good read Tom. I'm honoured to have been one of the first reviewed...despite your somewhat cheeky comments :P

As for the team line up, well you could be right - i haven't decided yet though! I am waiting to see what team i am playing first and then i will decide on suitable lineups and personnel, my team is very adaptable you see ;)

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Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)

Third time never lies.. should we fear what we don't know? Can you guess what (or who

;) ) that unknown quantity will be?

P.s. I just got back from an amazing day out and the new part is only likely to come out tomorrow or even Monday. Sorry to everyone about the delay :o

P.s.s. Also, I'd like to thank everyone for the warm comments. As for the line-ups, that just my prediction and what I'd probably play and most likely that will not reflect how your team will line-up... Or will it? ;)

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Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)

We Fear What We Don't Know

nvoyv7.png

Profile: Adam's Hearts

Key Players:

  • Ledley King - his fitness and sharpness will be directly related to Hearts success - he may become the saviour or the villain who's nearer to the hospital than the stadium.
  • Jeremy Menez - touted as one of the biggest talents from France in recent years, he can be hot and hold and you never know what to expect - brilliance or idiocy.
  • Samir Nasri - Out of the all attacker bunch, he's probably the most consistent and reliable performer, but that doesn't say much.

Young stars: Pretty much everyone in the squad.

The Weak Link: Lack of experience and consistency. This team barely has any players above 23 and this might be a fatal flaw. Also, almost everyone in this squad is extremely inconsistent and has much to learn. On it's day, this team can fight against anyone, but off day, can also lose against anyone.

Best Line-up

Formation - 4-3-3 Wingers

Romero

Santon - Richards - King - Taiwo

Busquets

Moutinho - Nasri

Menez ----------- Bale

Balotelli

Comparison

dakota_fanning_jane_volturi_new_moon.jpg

Dakota Fanning

Dakota Fanning first got into scene just like Adam X's team - a young prodigy who was supposed to light the scene for years. After some years, she's influential and achieved some nice things, but so far it looks that she (and he) won't live up to their promise. Besides, when you go to star in Twillight, there's only one way - down.

Tom's Prediction

A possible giant of tomorrow, but a minnow of today. Should go out after the 1st round.

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Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)

Just edited my squad post Tom' date=' so you can try and figure out what formation im going to play :D

My post had my 2 lineup's with formation aswell.

Awesome work by the way[/quote']

Thanks. I'm very pleasantly surprised how well this has gone down as I expected something else. Oh well, won't complain...

Well, before taking this, I actually took the formations that I've seen for my own later use, but the one that I give is not my prediction as how you will play - it's how I'd play this (without giving any particular tactics, as that would be too much). :)

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Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)

The Lover Boys of SM

united-airlines-logo.jpg

Profile: Ken's United

Key Players:

  • Rooney - who will see: a hard working player who gives everything for the team (MU) or a lazy guy who doesn't give 2 cents about anything (England)? Will we see a moment of genius or a moment of madness?
  • Filipe - you'd rather have this guy on your team.
  • Ever Banega - while he may not be the most consistent or reliable guy, he certainly can produce that spark.

Young stars: Rodwell and Azpilicueta.

The Weak Link: Lack of experience and most of players are rather unpredictable. A good defencive team should be able to frustrate this team. Asenjo's mindset could also be questioned.

Best Line-up

Formation - 3-3-2-2

Asenjo

Azpilicueta - Ciani - Filipe

Banega - Gaetano D'Agostino - Rodwell

Pedro Leon --------- Pedro

Rossi - Rooney

Comparison

gollum_20100219_aatheory.jpg

Gollum

Kensational is pretty much as worthless as Gollum. Always pops up where he shouldn't, but still fails badly. To be short, pretty much a useless forum troll.

Tom's Prediction

A very young, determined attacking squad. Extremely hard to predict anything and almost everything depends from players chosen and tactics used. Could possibly go far, but might also go out in the 1st round.

caution-this-is-sparta.jpg

Profile: Tom's Sparta

Key Players:

  • Julio Cesar - the experienced keeper at the moment is arguably one of the best in the World, but was the World Cup merely a blip or is something more?
  • Nilmar - no one questions whether he's a good player, but can he actually give his team that spark?
  • Tomas Rosicky - if fit, he can easily be one of the best players around. IF.

Young stars: Ljajic and Salvio.

The Weak Link: A quite solid, but most of the players aren't exactly known for their good fitness and physical play. A strong physical side could possibly cause problems. A lack of matchwinners is also a problem that should be addressed.

Best Line-up

Formation - 4-5-1

Cesar

Sagna - Samuel - Jagielka - Maxwell

Montolivo - Rosicky

Arteta - J. Baptista - Malouda

Nilmar

Comparison

David-Hasselhoff-drunk2.jpeg

David Hasselhoff

You know that guy, who used to be cool and adored, but know is just a nature's mistakes, who tries to look cool, yet looks completely idiotic. Afterwards, starts drinking, because it should solve his problems.. You know, David Hasselhoff type. It would be rather hard to find a better comparison for Rabede20.

Tom's Prediction

A pretty decent outfit, but while the defence is very solid, there may be a few problems higher up the pitch. A very experienced side, should advance out of the group, but would struggle towards the end.

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Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)

I know I won't be able to finish this in time, but I will try to cover as much as I can. Right before the start of the competition and right before I leave Europe, I'll post a very short analysis of the groups and will predict what will happen. For my own group, I'll either just exclude myself or not cover at all. Ti's all.

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Re: Tom's Library: Universal SMEL Analysis (TL: USMELA)

Not a bad summary of my team tbh... I always knew defence was my weak-link but I don't think I'm all that bad. Two of the best full-backs in La Liga last season. My center-backs could be better but in a few years I may have the starting CB's for Manchester United in real life.

I DEFINITELY won't be playing that formation that is for sure and 3 of the players mentioned likely won't start. Going forward, maybe I'm being bias, but I think I'm as well equipped as anyone else with two of the best young wingers in Spain and a world class forward. In the middle I must admit I do lack experience. Still though, will be interesting to see how people vote when the matches come around. Most people won't know who Pedro Leon is until he struts his stuff for Madrid this season.... :D

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